Collecting the Stars
by MoonLLotus
Summary: It was hard, moving to Twilight Town with my estranged father so soon after mom died. Life just became a whirlwind then of sex, drugs, wild parties, and an eccentric redhead who snuck in through my window every night.-AkuRoku
1. Jesus of Suburbia

Title:** Collecting the Stars**

Genre: Romance/General

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I no own

Note: This fic is AU, has slight OOC, and contains Yaoi. You have been warned.

Summary: [AU. Yaoi] – I'd like to tell myself that my life would've been fine had Axel not snuck into my window that first night. Because there's normal folk like me, and insane ones like him.  
Main AkuRoku. Background Riso.

Thank You **Le Tenn** for being my beta!

* * *

"blah" means talking

"**blah**" means phone conversations

_blah_ means thoughts

* * *

**Chapter 1: Jesus of Suburbia**

* * *

_I'm the son of rage and love  
The Jesus of Suburbia  
From the bible of none of the above  
On a steady diet of soda pop and Ritalin  
No one ever died for my sins in hell  
As far as I can tell  
At least the ones I gotten away with_

And there's nothing wrong with me  
This is how I'm supposed to be  
In a land of make believe  
That don't believe in me

* * *

The summer I turned sixteen was when my mom died and I was sent to live with my estranged father, away from my home on Destiny Island, my childhood, and my twin brother who refused to come with me.

Sora was exactly two minutes older than me, his hair was chestnut, his skin golden tan, though our eyes were identical. I had never known Sora to be anything short of kind, understanding, and generous; but when the lawyer told us that in our mothers will she wanted us to go to our father he flatly refused. This was the only time I ever saw Sora act bitter and resentful.

"I'm staying with Riku, Roxas," he had told me, "he lives by himself, his father pays for the apartment and never visits so it's not like he'll know I'm there." Blue eyes were so determined; I didn't have the heart to stop him. Riku was the love of Sora's life; they had always been destined to be together, ever since birth it seemed.

"Stay with me Roxas!" Sora suggested, "Please, you don't have to go."

I didn't want to tell Sora that I needed to leave; I needed to get away from Destiny Island, to start over fresh. I couldn't bear to pass by the childhood home that my mother raised us in. Leaving would be the best thing for me, even if I was moving in with a father who was more like a stranger.

And this is where I found myself, standing at the train station in Twilight Town at five in the evening, looking around for someone with my blond hair and bright blue eyes. I resented the fact that I looked like the guy; I'd always had a feeling that my appearance caused my late mother grief.

At the very back wall, apart from the crowd, stood a blond man with spiky hair, his sharp blue eyes were focused on me. I narrowed mine and wheeled my luggage behind me as I headed towards him. He remained in his spot, watching my every move, like a hawk does its prey. Like a mother does her child.

"Where's your brother?" Cloud, my father, asked. No need for formalities I supposed. This irked me.

"Back home, he refused to come with." I stated simply, never wavering my own gaze, he wouldn't intimidate me.

Cloud raised an eyebrow, "he's still a minor; he can't do that."

I shrugged before glaring at him, "no offense, I know you're all generous for willing to take us both in, but do you really have any right to say what Sora can or can't do?"

Cloud stared at me for a little longer before shaking his head, "come on, let's get to the car."

The ride to Cloud's house was awkward to say the least, uncomfortable to say the most. I mostly stared out of the window at the scenery flying past us. My heart ached. I already missed the beach, and my friends. I missed Kairi, Wakka, Tidus, Selphie, and even Riku. But most of all I missed Sora. I don't blame him for staying behind, but I wished that he would've considered my feelings as well.

_Well that's a little unfair Roxas, after all Sora _did_ask you to stay_, I thought to myself. At this thought I scoffed. Sora did offer, he asked sincerely, he probably missed me just as much as I missed him. We had never been apart in our lives. We had even planned on going to college together and sharing a dorm or something. Even though Sora had Riku now, Riku wasn't me, this thought made me feel a tiny bit of smug satisfaction.

Cloud's house was a typical two story home; it looked like every other one in Twilight Town that we had passed. When he pulled up into the driveway I was more than a little surprised. I had always assumed that he lived in a small apartment or something. A single guy didn't need all of this space.

I got out of the car and the two of us went inside the house in silence. Seriously, how antisocial _was _Cloud? I refused to say a word; I continued to play the role of the sullen teenager. But really, there was no point in my saying anything to him since, sadly, he was a stranger to me. Unlike Sora, I didn't downright hate the guy, but I could think of a million other places I'd rather be than here. On the top of that list would have to be Destiny Island.

"I should tell you," Cloud started while unlocking the front door, "I have a roommate." He then opened the door; on the other side was the foyer, which led to a living room. From the living room I could see an open kitchen and a formal dining room.

"Man or woman?" I asked, suddenly not feeling so sure about moving here with him.

"Man," Cloud answered before taking off his shoes at the front door, "Take off your shoes."

I gave him a look but did as I was told. Clouds house had beige carpet, this house was so unlike my mothers. My impression so far was of severe dislike, well, I think that's going a little far. I didn't mind the place, it was actually nicely furnished and everything. Maybe I just didn't like it because it was Clouds house.

My new bedroom was downstairs right off of the formal dining room. It was bigger than the bedroom that I grew up in, it was furnished with a full size bed and had a desk that was against the same wall as the large window which faced the neighbors' house. Lovely.

"You're things from the island should be here within the next week," Cloud stated, as if I didn't know that already. "Leon should be home soon with dinner."

I arched an eyebrow, "Leon? Your roommate?"

He nodded.

I then began to poke my two index fingers together; "Are you and Leon, _more_ than roommates?" _was that the reason why you left my mother_? I wanted to ask, but I just watched Clouds face. He gave me a dull, deadpan, look.

"We're distant cousins Roxas, we were raised like brothers. I live with Leon because it's cheap, and living alone gets lonely," he sighed, "you're more than welcome to explore the rest of the house; I have a few phone calls I have to make."

I watched him leave allowing myself to let out a large sigh while I placed my luggage on the bed before taking my cell phone out; Sora wanted me to call him as soon as I had got here.

"**Hey Roxas**," Riku's voice greeted me from the other side, "**How was the trip**?" I didn't bother asking why Riku had my brother's cell.

"Good, boring. I just got to Cloud's place like ten minutes ago, how're things over there?" I asked, although I felt pathetic asking since I was just there this morning. I unzipped my bag.

"**Sora misses you already**," Riku said, I could hear his smirk.

I couldn't help but smile, "where is he anyways?"

"**Hang on, let me get him**," Riku stated, there were some muffled sounds afterward. After a second, I could hear their TV on in the background. While I was waiting for him to get my brother I began to unpack my clothes. It was needless to say that I was fairly distracted when my window was suddenly opened.

"Holy fuck!" I shrieked. It was a manly shriek… for the most part. You can't judge me. My phone dropped into my open bag and I looked frantically around the room for some kind of weapon.

The intruder came in ass first, that's what threw me off the most. I was confused by that; don't people break in foreword instead of backward? I stared at the persons rump much longer than I should have, noticing that attached were super long legs dressed in normal jeans and black converse. Their black shirt rode up a bit, revealing an extremely pale back. I continued to watch, more intrigued than scared now, as bright red hair cascading down broad shoulders came next, until the person was in the room, standing up straight, back to me.

My first thought: _Holy crap he's tall_.

The guy was taller than me by at least six inches.

He turned around, and literally jumped when he noticed me, "oh my God!" He then leaned against the wall, hand over his heart. "Jesus kid, let a guy know you're here."

I felt a slight spark of anger, "Excuse you? _You're_ the one who just broke into _my_ room!"

He looked me over. His eyes were _green_. Almost unnaturally so, his looks made my mouth dry and my insides burn. Oh God, I've never felt this way before. I looked away from him, glaring at the floor, unsure exactly what to do. I mean, for all I knew he could've been a rapist or an axe murder, but he didn't have any noticeable weapons on him.

He looked me over for a minute, "ooooh, you're Cloud's kid eh?" he asked in such a lazy manner that I just didn't have it in me to get annoyed by his blunt question.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes, forgetting all about the fact that I was just on the phone with Riku and was about to talk to Sora. My brother was probably having a panic attack right about now.

"I always break in through the window," the red head stated matter-of-factly. "I come here to steal food."

I raised my eyebrow, "you _steal_ food?" I repeated slowly.

"I didn't realize there was an echo in here," the guy grinned and the sight made my stomach upset. I felt queasy all of a sudden. "Anyways, Leon feeds me." He then began to walk past me towards my bedroom door before stopping and looking at me again, "My name's Axel. Axel Fair. Commit it to memory."

I scoffed, "is that your catch line? How lame."

Axel grinned at me, "oh yeah, I'm the lamest guy in town. What's your name?"

I looked at his intense green eyes and replied, "Roxas."

"Roxas what? Do you not have a last name?" Axel asked, tilting his head to the side, his hair looking like a bloody waterfall. I wanted to touch it.

"My last name is Lockhart. I'm Roxas Lockhart. Jesus. Why are you still in my room?" I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him my iciest glare. I know this because, as sad as it may sound, I've practiced glares in the mirror numerous times.

Axel just grinned at me and opened the door before quickly exiting.

A few moments later Cloud appeared with his cell phone away from his ear, he frowned at me. I could hear Sora's voice on the other side, but what really surprised me was how angry my twin sounded.

"He said that he heard you yell and your phone suddenly disconnected," Cloud stated, handing me his phone. I frowned at Cloud, Sora was his son and Cloud acted as if he was just another irritated kid.

"I yelled because Axel came in through the window!" I seethed.

Cloud then sighed and rolled his eyes, "oh for the love of God." He then turned back towards the dining room, "AXEL!" He yelled into the house. It made me jump, his yell sounded like a roar.

"WHAHAHAHA!" echoed throughout the house.

Cloud stomped off to look for the weird redhead.

"Sora?" I asked while putting the phone up to my ear, forgetting all about unpacking.

"**Roxas! What happened?**" Sora sounded a little frantic.

"This weirdo named Axel just broke in through my window," I said, eerily calm.

"**WHAT?!**"

"But he's a friend of Leon's. Leon feeds him." The more I tried to explain, the worse it came out.

"**Who the hell's Leon?**" Sora demanded.

"Apparently he's our distant cousin Sora." I answered, flopping myself down on the bed, not even caring that this action caused my luggage to topple over.

Sora went silent for a moment, "**…we have a cousin?**"

"Yeah, so says Cloud. I've only been here for a little while, but I can already tell that this is so much different than home," I nearly whispered.

"…**Roxas, all you have to do is say the word and I'll be there. Or I'll send money for you to come back here**." Sora said, rather seriously. He sounded as if he were so much older than me. I hated feeling so dependent on him.

I bit my bottom lip, worrying it and closed my burning eyes. Sniffling once I finally managed to say, "I want mom Sora. I don't like being so far away from you when the world feels like its ending. I feel like I'm living in a _world that never was_ meant to be. It's all so surreal."

My brother let out a long breath. "**I** **know Roxas. I know**."

My conversation with Sora was anything but happy. We ended up crying together, blubbering nonsense. Sora begging me to move back and me begging him to come with me. In the end we compromised and promised to visit each other periodically.

I managed to leave my new room as soon as I was sure that my face wasn't swollen from crying anymore. Men don't cry. So I put my clothes away while I calmed down. My world did seem to be falling apart. Now, I'm not the type of person to feel self-pity or anything like that, but at that moment I was overcome with it.

By the time I managed to get out of the room about two hours had passed, making it just after eight in the evening. Cloud was waiting for me at the dining room table, blue eyes giving me an intense look.

"Your cell," I needlessly said while sliding it over the table to him. I left him at the table; if he wanted to say anything to me he should have said it while I was standing there.

I went into the kitchen, noticing Axel eating from a bucket of fried chicken.

"Want me to serve you?" Axel asked, piling his own plate with mashed potatoes and coleslaw.

"Sure." I watched him open a cabinet door for plates, another for a cup, and reached into a drawer for a fork. "Why do you break in through the window?"

Axel glanced over at me while serving me some potatoes, "come again?"

I glared. He smirked.

"I break in because it annoys the hell out of Cloud. The food is just an added bonus, since they both know my mom and dad. And they've known me since I was a baby...they think I'm too thin," Axel said, not really paying attention to what exactly he was telling me.

I looked him over, he _was_ thin. Then a pang of irritation surged through me, Cloud was here to watch Axel grow up, and obviously cares about the guy if he's letting him break into his house for food. Yet the bastard couldn't even get involved in his own children's lives. I was seriously doubting my decision about coming here.

"My dad's Clouds best friend, his names Zack. My mom's Aeris, she owns the flower shop in town." He mixed his food around. He continued, "My parents had me, and my younger sister Olette. She's probably around your age."

"Is your hair naturally that red? Are your eyes really that green?" I blurted out; these two things had been bothering me since he broke into my room a few hours ago. I felt like a little kid while asking them.

Axel snickered, "my natural hair color was black, like my dad. I first dyed it red on a dare, and liked it so much it stuck. As for my eyes, I got them from my mom." He looked at me with those eyes, handing my plate of food to me. "What about you, Roxas?"

The way he said my name, it sounded almost like he was teasing me.

"My mom owned a pastry shop slash juice bar back home, all of us island kids used to go there all the time," I absently smiled down at my food. Mom's original idea for Tifa's 7th Heaven was that of a bar, but that was no place for young children. The juice bar was pretty popular amongst the kids, everyone used to go there almost every day after school. Mom, Sora, and I lived above the shop, in a cozy three bedroom two bathroom flat. Sora's bedroom faced the children's island, mine faced the mainland.

I didn't really want to tell Axel anything else about me. I was never an open person in that sense; I never thought there was much _to_ tell about me. But Axel just easily pulled answers out of me without even trying. This was bad.

"How old are you Axel?" I asked him.

"Twenty-one, how old are _you_?" he asked, a knowing smirk on his face.

"Sixteen." I answered automatically.

"Jailbait," Axel grinned.

I couldn't fight the blush that spread across my face. "Are you a pervert Axel?"

He snickered, "define 'pervert'."

* * *

I spent the rest of the evening in the bedroom, trying to make myself as comfortable as possible. I didn't meet Leon or talk with Cloud. Around ten at night Axel came back into my room without bothering to knock.

"I'm off," he stated while heading towards the same window he crawled in through.

"Why don't you use the front door?" I asked, looking up from my book.

Axel shrugged, "front doors are for losers," he grinned at me while flinging open the window, "hey, Roxas?"

I looked at him, "hm?"

"I'll send my sister over tomorrow, she'll show you around." The way he said it left no room for disagreement. I merely nodded, and then Axel was back out of the window, closing it from the other side.

He had me mesmerized and I had just met him.

* * *

The smell of coffee woke me up; it was 9:00AM. This was only my second day, but I could already tell that life here was boring, that was for sure.

I missed the island.

Leaving the bedroom I noticed a man with shaggy brown hair sitting at the dining room table drinking coffee while reading the paper. He wasn't an ugly man, stormy gray eyes were concentrated on the paper, straight nose, and high cheek bones. The only thing that took away from his perfection was the jagged scar which ran at an angle from his forehead down across the bridge of his nose and stopped right beneath his left eye.

"You're Leon?" I asked him, holding my towel and bath products close to my chest.

He nodded, "and you're Roxas."

We stared each other down some more. This man was my cousin, that knowledge alone was odd to me. I wanted to talk to him, to ask him so many questions about my unknown family.

"Where's your bathroom?" I asked instead.

* * *

My morning was uneventful; I roamed the house for a bit before going back to my new room. Cloud went to work early and Leon had left a little over an hour ago. This was boring.

_Tap_. _Tap_. _Tap_. The sound made me jump; it was coming from the window. Was it Axel? I quickly scrambled off of the bed and pulled the blinds open. On the other side of the glass pane was a girl. Her brown hair was down to her shoulders, her large green eyes were too bright to be natural, and she had a smile that was familiar to me even though I had never met her. She was probably Olette.

She waved. I opened my window, "does your family not believe in front doors?" I asked her, noticing that there was no screen on this window. I was willing to bet that Axel had discarded it a long time ago.

"At least I knocked," she giggled, "I'm Olette, but you're probably already know that."

I nodded. "I'm Roxas, but _you_ probably already know that."

Olette nodded. I noticed her orange tank top, khaki Capri's, and hemp flip flops. I looked down at my own plain white tee, cargo shorts, and flip flops. We looked like beach kids in this middle of nowhere town.

We were both silent for a moment.

"So, not to be rude, but why are you here?" I asked her.

Olette smiled, "I'm kidnapping you! Under direct orders from my brother!" And here I thought the red head was only teasing me.

"Um...okay?" and this is how I found myself getting a tour of the town from Olette.

* * *

Twilight Town wasn't as large as it had seemed the night before. We caught a trolley from our area of housing and into the "busy" part. It was pretty laid back place for having such grand buildings.

"The reason why Twilight Town seems like such a sleepy town is because almost everyone commutes and works in Radiant Garden," Olette explained when I pointed this out to her. "People live in the buildings, so it's not like we have a low population, it's that rarely anyone is ever home during the day."

"Where's Radiant Garden?" I asked her, we were headed towards McDuck's Ice Cream.

"It's a twenty minute train ride to the north. Radiant Garden is near the mountains," Olette stated while cheerfully placing her order for two sea salt ice creams.

I suddenly felt small and insignificant. I had never been anywhere other than Destiny Island and the play island. This was my first time really going anywhere. The mention of mountains made me realize how much bigger the world actually was.

"I'd like to go there someday; I've never seen snow before. Don't mountain tops usually have snow?" I asked Olette as she handed me an ice cream.

She gave me a sunny smile and nodded.

* * *

Meeting Hayner and Pence was an interesting experience to say the least. It was obvious that Hayner was one of those blond kids, who actually had blond moments, that and he acted as if he had a stick up his ass. Pence was cool, though.

They were a trio of friends that have probably known each other their entire lives. They kind of reminded me of Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka. Only I it felt as if Hayner and Pence had some competition going on between each other, most likely over the only female in the group.

Olette introduced me to them and immediately they began conversing, trying to keep me in their little triangle. They were being nice to me, and it made me feel awkward. It was probably because they knew my circumstances for being here, this town had that small town feeling where everyone knew each other's business. I barely tuned in to their conversation, but by mid-afternoon I made up some lame excuse and left.

I wandered around town, bored. I really wasn't in the mood for exploring. Then again, I never was the exploring type. That would be my brother.

There was a hole in one of the walls in the town. Why would anyone keep a large hole, big enough for a grown man to go through, in one of their walls? Curiosity got the better of me and I stepped over the small ledge and right into a tunnel. It wasn't a long tunnel because not 15 feet ahead was a white light for the other side.

Walking forward I was led into a forest. It was so _green_, unbelievably green. There was a well beaten path before me and I followed it. In retrospect it wasn't the smartest idea, after all I didn't know where it led to and what it could've been. The path led me to a mansion. And I say that in every sense of the word.

The rod Iron Gate kept me out, but the mansion grounds were well kept, obviously someone lived here. I looked up at one of the second story windows, noticing that there was a figure watching me, though with the sun shining in my eyes I couldn't tell what gender they were. Standing there for a moment more I decided to head home, the place was starting to creep me out.

* * *

I got back home a little after successfully getting myself lost in those damn woods for the remainder of the day, I'm just grateful that I found the way back into town before the sun set all the way; that would've royally sucked if I hadn't. Cloud had yet to give me a spare key to the front door, so I mimicked what that weirdo red head did the night before, I snuck in through the window.

Once safely inside I immediately closed the window, but I didn't lock it, hoping that Axel would show up again sometime soon.

I went the bedroom door with the intent of going to the kitchen to get some food, but Cloud's voice on the other side made me stop.

"Sora please, I would love it if you came too," Cloud's voice sounded strained, like he was ready to just break. I didn't know what would happen when he broke, but I didn't want to find out to be honest.

"**No, I'm not going to live with you Cloud,** **end of discussion.**" Sora's voice sounded loud and clear via speaker phone. "**Why would I want to live with a father who never even bothered to call my brother or me on our birthdays? It's the SAME day for us! It's not like you had to remember a lot of dates**. **You never even bothered to send us a card. You never had any contact with us whatsoever**."

I winced at the venom in Sora's voice. He was never one to be angry, or spiteful, that was my thing. Sora was supposed to be the sweet one, the good twin out of the two of us. He sounded so cold, so bitter, but I knew Sora better than that. He was hurt, and it was all Cloud's neglectful fault.

"Roxas came here just fine," Cloud said, ignoring my brother's previous comment.

"**That's because Roxas needed to get out of here! He needs a fresh start, I'm fine staying. That's the only reason why we're even apart Cloud, because of our different ways of coping.**" His tone was sharp.

I slid down on the floor right against the door; Sora understood the real reason as to why I left. I'm relieved that he didn't think I betrayed him or anything; I wouldn't have been able to stand myself he did.

I wasn't eavesdropping on purpose, but it was like I needed to listen.

"**I'm not going over there because you were never there in our lives, Cloud. No phone calls, no birthday cards, no random visits. You weren't even there at our mother's funeral**," Sora said this in a soft, tired, voice. There was no more bite to his words, but I knew that these words were the ones that were to hit Cloud the hardest.

Cloud went quiet, and I remained in my spot, waiting for him to say something else. I needed to know what he was going to say.

"Sora—"

"What're you doing, Roxas?" a voice from the window stage whispered to me, causing me to jump. I didn't even notice Axel's entrance.

I got up and walked over to him, meeting him as he crawled in, this time face first.

"Cloud's talking to Sora," I told him, "I was going to go to the kitchen to get food but I can't interrupt their…discussion."

"Who's Sora?" Axel asked, confused. He had enough sense to sense the melancholy air that the house held. "You know what, you can tell me over pizza, my treat. Let's go," and just like that he easily went right back out of the window, "You coming?"

I stared at him for a moment before following, tripping into him on the way out. His hands steadied me before grabbing my wrist and all but dragging me towards an unknown destination.

* * *

TBC

* * *

**Evil Chibi Kitten**: Hey, this is my latest project. It's been a while since I've written a multi-chapter KH fic so I decided to go ahead and start one. I'm not really sure where this fic is going, so I'd like some sort of feedback.

Suggestions, ideas, comments, flames – all are welcome.


	2. Just Dance

Title:** Collecting the Stars**

Genre: Romance/General

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I no own

Note: This fic is AU, has slight OOC, and contains Yaoi. You have been warned.

Summary: [AU. Yaoi] – I'd like to tell myself that my life would've been fine had Axel not snuck into my window that first night.  
Main AkuRoku. Background Riso.

Thank You **Le Tenn** for being my beta!

* * *

"blah" means talking

"**blah**" means phone conversations

_blah_ means thoughts

* * *

**Chapter 2: Just Dance**

* * *

_I've had a little bit too much  
All of the people start to rush.  
Start to rush by.  
A dizzy twister dance  
Can't find my drink or man.  
Where are my keys, I lost my phone.  
What's going on on the floor?  
I love this record baby, but I can't see straight anymore.  
Keep it cool what's the name of this club?  
I can't remember but it's alright, alright._

* * *

I woke up to the sun washing down upon my face, my eyes blinking awake. _Where the hell am I_? The night before was somewhat of a blur, I only clearly remembered going to the pizzeria with Axel. His larger hand wrapped around my wrist, leading the way.

Speaking of Axel, a shock of red to my right informed me it was his form that I had smuggled into while asleep. Slowly, not completely awake, I pulled away from him. Sitting up was an effort, my head was pounding.

With a huff I managed to stand (my entire body hurt from a night on the floor) and realized that Axel and I weren't the only ones asleep. The entire room was littered with bodies; people were piled on top of each other. The radio was still on, but the volume was cranked to the lowest setting possible. I remembered going to get pizza for dinner with Axel; his friend was there and invited us to a party. His friend Myde? Demi? Deion?...Demyx? Was that the blonde guys' name? He had a weird mullet/Mohawk thing going on that he managed to pull off.

I didn't want to go home, so I agreed to the party. I remembered there being jell-o shots involved at one point, which was more vodka than jell-o, and someone had brought out a hookah. I think I drank too much. Now, don't get the wrong impression about me, I don't usually drink. It's that simple. But something about the way Axel had teased me, I took twelve jell-o shots, and a few puffs of the weed filled hookah.

_God Rox, I think you're hung over_, the voice in my head thoughtfully observed.

There was dancing involved, laughter, warm hands all over me. But all of it seemed meshed together. Everything was dizzying and I think I was going to be sick. Nausea made its way to the pit of my stomach.

The sun shone happily through the clothed windows, peeking around the corners. Oh God, if the sun was that high up already, then it was probably late. A sudden cold fear washed over me, I had spent the night here, Cloud didn't know where I was, and I'm pretty sure I had left my phone at home. _Fucking shit_.

I needed to get the fuck out of here.

I stared down at Axel for a moment longer than necessary. He looked different in sleep. I shook my head, I barely knew the guy! Sighing, I carefully stepped over him, swaying slightly, and headed to what looked to be the exit at the other side of this giant room. My sneakers were loud on the marble white floors, but I was careful not to hit or step on anyone.

I paused again when I saw Hayner asleep on a white chaise. Pence was leaning against said chaise, also conked out. I'm guessing wild parties were what the kids here in Twilight Town did. Not one of them, the people sleeping, looked to be older than twenty. Twenty-one tops.

The door was heavy, but I managed to push it open, my eyes burning and constricting painfully at the sunlight. It took me a few moments to open them all the way.

"Going home?" a feminine voice asked from a little ways to my left. On the concrete stairs sat a blonde girl, in her lap was a sketch pad and at her side were watercolors.

"Uh, yeah." I walked up to her, curious. She was wearing a white tank top, light blue Capri's and white sandals. She looked too pristine, too white and clean and pure. It hurt my eyes worse than the sun did.

"Well Roxas, just follow the path down the driveway. The gates are already opened," she stated, brushing even strokes on her paper.

"Um, did we meet...last night perhaps?" I asked sheepishly.

She then looked up at me, crystal clear blue eyes crinkled at the corners as her pink mouth blossomed into a smile, showing off too white teeth. "Yes, but it seems like you forgot. I don't blame you; if I had taken that many jell-o shots I don't think I'd remember either. I'm Naminé."

"Do you happen to know the time Naminé?"

She then reached for a cell phone that was on her left, I hadn't noticed it before, "just after three," she answered simply.

3:00 P.M! My nerves knotted up in my stomach. I really didn't want to be in trouble with Cloud. I've only been here for three days, and so far I was giving him a horrible impression.

I gave Naminé a slightly nervous smile. Something about her threw me off, like there wasn't something totally right with her. Mentally that is.

"Well, I better get going. My...dad...," the word felt foreign and almost dirty in my mouth, "doesn't know where I am and I'm pretty sure I'll be in deep shit when I get back to the house."

Naminé watched me, nodding her goodbye. I quickly made my escape from her knowing eyes and hauled it out of there. It was when I passed the iron gates at the front of the house and found myself facing nothing but pure green forest that I realized that I had been in the mansion that I had found yesterday.

And even though I had just been in there, from the outside it still creeped me out.

* * *

Hands shaking, I lifted the window from the outside and went in the same way Axel did on that first night, ass first.

Closing the window silently, I turned and nearly jumped at the sight of Leon leaning against the wall opposite of the window. His arms were folded over his chest; his legs were crossed at the ankles.

"You do know you're in deep shit, don't you?" Leon asked, his gruff voice was surprisingly quiet.

"I know," I stated, "it was an accident." I felt a dull throbbing anger begin to build up inside of me.

"I'm not your father," Leon started, "so I'm not going to do anything. And to be honest, I'm not entirely sure what Cloud is going to do. He searched the entire town for you last night when he found out that you had left your phone here."

A pang of guilt pulsed through me before I shook it off. There was no reason for me to feel guilty, none at all. _Don't feel guilty; Cloud's done much worse than forget to call about not coming home_.

I clenched my teeth, refusing to say anything else to Leon. He quirked an eyebrow at me, "Cloud'll be home later tonight." On that last note he took his leave.

After a few minutes, I gathered my bathing stuff and went upstairs to take a quick shower, which included brushing my teeth three times to get the taste of stale booze out.

When Cloud got home I was in my room, nibbling on a Little Debbie's cake and reading a random book that I was sure Sora had somehow stuffed into my bag. What surprised me about Cloud was his apathy; he didn't mention last night at all, he didn't even talk to me. It made me feel guilty beyond belief. My mom used to do the same thing, she'd look at me with her sad brown eyes, shake her head, and she wouldn't mention it at all after that. Our mother never once punished us. It used to make Sora and I feel so guilty and ashamed of ourselves that we used to ground each other.

And that was my response to Cloud. I groaned and put my pillow over my head, guilt and shame eating away at me.

The day after, when Olette came to my window to see if I wanted to hang out again, I told her I was grounded. When Axel crawled in that same night I told him the same thing. Afterwards I locked my window from the inside and kept the blinds shut tight.

* * *

A week. Seven whole days of me refusing to come out of my bedroom. The first day wasn't that noticeable, neither was the second, but by the third someone had gotten the idea to leave food outside of my door. I refused to open my cave up for anyone. It wasn't the guilt that ate at me, that had disappeared by the third day; it was the anger that kept bubbling up to the surface. Unexplained and disturbing dark anger that I couldn't let go of. I think I was starting to hate Cloud and his lack of response.

The beginning of the eighth day was what changed everything.

The morning started out like every other, I was awake by seven and heard Cloud leave for work, around eight is when Leon left. At nine I got out of bed and did my thing, returning to my room by 9:30.

The door bell rang about ten times before it began to get annoying. I huffed, and left the confines of the bedroom before making my way towards the foyer.

After a pause the door bell continued to ring. I felt my right eye begin to twitch in annoyance.

Without bothering to look through the peephole I yanked the door open, about to curse out whoever was on the other side, but stopped immediately once I saw who it was.

"Sora!"

My twin grinned at me, a cardboard box in his arms. Riku came up from the driveway with a box in his hands as well.

"What're you guys doing here?" I asked excitedly.

Sora gave me a slightly confused look, "dude, we're here with your stuff." He laughed.

"I thought you were just going to send it," I frowned.

"You mind letting us in Rox? This box isn't light," Riku spoke up from behind Sora, a casual smirk on his face.

"Sorry!" I squeaked, opening the door wider for them, and leading them towards my stark new bedroom. "Just put the boxes in the farthest corner, near the window."

The three of us worked for about an hour, moving my belongings into Cloud's house. Around eleven we were finally finished. Ten boxes stacked neatly against the furthest wall. Three of them blocking the window.

"Are you guy's hungry? Do you want me to order pizza or something?" I asked them once the last box was placed on the ground.

"Famished," Riku answered, tying his hair up into a messy pony tail. Yet even like that he still managed to look better than most guys, and he wasn't even trying.

Sora grinned, "Hells yeah, food sounds awesome. Do you have anything in mind?"

"Uh," I thought a moment, vaguely remembering the pizzeria that I was taken to about a week before, "yeah, I know a place."

My brother nodded, "well, then, how about we go get some eats and then come back to unpack?"

Riku shrugged, not caring either way as long as he got food. I mirrored his actions.

"Great!" Sora said brightly, "lead the way Rox."

* * *

Phils Pizza Place looked the same as it did in my vague memory. There was a guy with ginger colored hair, big blue eyes and a dimpled smile waiting at the front register.

"Welcome to Phil's!" He greeted brightly, his black polo seemed to stretch painfully over large biceps. His name tag read 'Hercules'. "Just the three of you?"

I nodded and Hercules led the way to an empty booth at the far corner of the restaurant. "Here are your menus; the lunch special is on until three! Your server will be with you in a moment." And with that Hercules was gone.

"This place is cozy," Riku commented, and he was right. Phils Pizza Place had a genuine lived in feeling, it held a familiar air to it. The entire place was consisted of booths made up of cushy red vinyl and dark wood tables. At the very back was a bar where people could eat on large stools and watch the workers make pizza. The walls above the booths were literally covered in photos of customers, most of which were making silly faces, others were candid of them sitting and enjoying their meal. The lighting was dim, casting everything in a warm glow.

"I like it here. How many times have you been here Rox?" Sora asked me, looking over his menu, eyebrows furrowed.

"Just once," I answered.

"Have you guys decided on what you're going to order yet? Or do you still need more time?" a slightly familiar voice asked casually.

I looked up at our server, a blond guy sporting a mullet/Mohawk combination. "You're Demyx, right?"

The guy looked at me immediately, "oh! Roxas! Damn dude, almost didn't recognize you without Axel acting as your purse." His face split into a cheery grin, "next time you crash at Nam's place, don't leave A.S.A.P, wait up for everyone. It's tradition that we all go to McDucks for some sea salt ice cream before going home."

I could feel Sora and Riku's curious gazes, "uh, yeah, I didn't know that. And Cloud didn't know where I was, so I didn't want to push it."

Demyx waved his hand in a swishing motion, "nah, it's all cool man." He then straightened back up, "so, what will ya'll have for drinks?"

After ordering Demyx seemed to literally hop away from us, humming a tune underneath his breath.

"Made friends so fast?" Riku asked me, amused.

"Who's Nam? Who's Axel? What was that guy talking about? What's McDucks?" Sora asked without taking single breath in-between questions. "Wait, isn't Axel the guy you said breaks in through your window?"

"Oh lord." I groaned, covering my hands with my face.

"Really? Do tell Roxy," Riku asked half-teasingly.

And so, with the exception of the party, I told them what's been going on with my life in the past week since I'd last seen them. At the end of my summarized tale, Sora frowned.

"You should be careful around Axel; he's, like, six years older than us. I'm not saying that you can't take care of yourself, but just be careful." Sora's expression was very serious, and it shook my very core. But before I got to reply to what he said Demyx bounced back with our drinks and the tension was immediately broken.

"Do you mind showing us around once we're done eating?" Riku asked, breaking a breadstick in half and giving the rest to Sora, who ate it in one bite.

I nodded, "sure."

* * *

Twilight Town is bigger than my home island. After two hours of walking around and taking the tram we finally passed the large hole in the wall, which Riku immediately wanted to investigate. I led them through the too green forest towards the large house on the other side.

"Wow," Sora stared up at it with large eyes, obviously impressed.

"Does anyone live in there?" Riku asked his face turning towards me.

I nodded, "yeah, I know Naminé lives there."

"Who's that?" Sora asked, eyes never leaving the upstairs window, there was someone watching us.

I turned away from the creepy house, "Nam's the girl staring at us from the window. She's pretty weird."

Riku stared down at his cell phone, "I hope you don't mind Rox, but I have to go to the station."

"Why?" I asked; this was sudden, and confusing.

Sora merely smiled and shook his head, "he wants to take the train to Radiant Garden so he can visit his dad."

Riku shrugged sheepishly, "not just Dad, but Kadaj too."

"You're brother's crazy dude," Sora stated absentmindedly.

His boyfriend shrugged, "anyways, I'm only planning on staying over there for dinner, so I should be back here before ten. Meaning that Sora and I can drive the night away back to the islands." He seemed to be talking more to himself than to either Sora or I, but that didn't matter. That was just the way Riku was.

"Do you want me to take you to the station?" I asked him, a bit unsure of myself.

"Nah, I have a photographic memory, I already know where everything is," Riku smiled, before turning to Sora. I averted my eyes as they shared a brief goodbye kiss.

Sora and I stood there for a bit longer after Riku left, staring up at Naminé.

We then decided together that Naminé was just plain weird, and possibly a serial killer.

* * *

We got back to Clouds place around three, I had to break in through the window, tripping over the boxes and landing on my face, before going back to the front door and letting Sora in.

"You really need your own key," Sora said, his eyes were laughing at me.

"Are you gonna help me unpack or what?" I asked grumpily.

My twin smiled at me and nodded.

We unpacked the boxes under the window first, just in case.

My brother helped me decorate the unfurnished room with all my miscellaneous stuff. After about an hour the room looked very lived in. Posters of random bands and video games were on the walls, the single bookcase was filled to the brim with books and games. There was a small TV on perched on top the dresser. The closet was full and there were shoes shoved underneath the bed.

We stood back to admire our handiwork.

"It looks kind of like Riku and mines bedroom!" Sora laughed.

"It looks like home," I nodded, liking how the room looked and felt. It was comfortable and very similar to how my old room was.

* * *

Sora and I remained in my room for most of the afternoon. We ate, drank, and just hung out. It was nice, and I really didn't realize how much I had missed him until we were completely alone with each other. We really just talked about bullshit, but it was comfortable.

"So when do you think Riku is coming back for you? He said around ten, right? Wouldn't it be better if you just stay over for the night and leave tomorrow?" I asked, taking a swig of my cola.

"Nah, I think it'd be better if I go home tonight, Riku and I have been having some problems lately." He shrugged to himself, looking at his sneakers.

I arched an eyebrow at him, "what do you mean?"

_Tap_, _tap_, _tap_.

"You were serious about the window visits," Sora chuckled.

I sighed and got up from my spot on the floor. Only one person (so far) knocked on the window. I forced my heart to calm down, knowing that it wasn't Axel.

Olette smiled at me from the other side f the pane before I lifted it for her.

"Are you still grounded?" She asked, twirling a piece of hair around her finger.

I immediately felt guilty over my little lie. I was avoiding everyone for the past week. Olette just wanted to be my friend, and she seemed too nice to lie to. Her entire aura reminded me somewhat of my mothers.

"No, I'm not. Why do you ask? Do you want to hang out or something?" I asked her, running a hand through my hair to move it out of my face a bit. Olette just blushed before giving me a mega-watt smile.

"Wow Rox, already making moves on the girls." Sora's voice caused Olette to literally jump. He showed up behind me, leaning against the windowsill, giving the girl before us a charming smile. "You must be Olette. Roxas didn't tell me that you were so cute. I'm Sora."

She blushed harder (if that was possible), "It's nice to meet you." Olette looked at the two of us, going back and forth, it's obvious that she noticed how we look almost identical.

"This is my twin brother, he came from the island with my stuff this morning," I explained, because I knew the question of if we were related was bound to come up.

"Oh wow! Mom mentioned you had a brother, but she never said you two were twins. That's really neat," she grinned this time, seemingly more comfortable now than she seemed a few minutes ago. "Anyways, I came by to ask you if you wanted to come over for a bit? Mom wants to really meet you. Sora, you come too, I'm sure that'll make her really happy."

So somehow Sora and I found ourselves trekking across Twilight Town to its only flower shop. All because damn Olette reminded the both of us so much of our mother that we couldn't say no to her.

"We live upstairs," Olette explained, "I help mom sometimes with the store, but Marluxia works here with her most of the time."

The flower shop was...cute, since I can't think of a more masculine word to substitute that with. Behind the register, preening some flowers, was a man with hair so light brown it almost looked pink; he was wearing the shops mandatory apron and had a content smile on his face while dealing with the plant.

His blue eyes looked up at us when the chime went off.

"Good Afternoon!" He greeted airily.

"Hi Marluxia, is mom down here?" Olette smiled at him.

"Aeris is upstairs Olette, making some tea." Marluxia answered, giving Sora and I a sly, almost knowing, smile.

"Okay, thank you." We followed after Olette quickly, that Marluxia creeped both Sora and I out.

If one were to walk towards the backroom of the flower shop they would notice another door that most would assume was a closet. Unless you noticed the padlock on it. We went up two flights of stairs until we came up to another door that was identical to the first downstairs.

"Sorry, this is really the quickest way. The real front door is on the side of the building away from the main road. This door leads straight into the kitchen." With one last turn of the key, she let us in.

Her house was exactly what I had expected it to be, cozy, warm, and inviting. It practically screamed "this is home."

I could see how a person like Olette, like Axel, could grow up here. The home oozed with love.

Aeris was in the living room watching the news, she was wearing a summer dress which started out white on the top and gradually faded to dark pink at the bottom. Her shoes were pink flip-flops and she wore a pink bow in her brown hair. She had a motherly face, with her bright green eyes that showed nothing other than tender love.

This home was so comfortable; I never wanted to leave this place.

"Hey mom," Olette greeted casually, "brought Roxas and Sora over."

Olette looked a lot like her mother.

My brother and I watched semi-awkwardly from our spot at the kitchen archway. Aeris had seen us and placed her hands over her mouth.

"Oh my goodness!" She gasped. At the same time, the kettle went off.

* * *

Olette had left us alone with her mom at the dining room table, Naminé had called and it was deemed as 'important'. Aeris gave us cookies to go with her tea.

"I'm so sorry about your mother," Aeris said kindly, "when I had heard...it wasn't what I expected. Tifa had always been so strong in life."

"You knew mom?" I asked, taking a nibble of a cookie. It was good.

Aeris nodded, "oh yes, of course. We all knew each other ever since we lived in Midgar. We as in Tifa, Cloud, Cid, Barret, Vincent, Yuffie, Nanaki, Cait Sith, my husband and I. We were a very close group of friends, maybe one day you'll get to meet the others."

Sora and I exchanged curious looks.

"I've always been wondering this," I paused for a moment, trying to find the right words, "what happened that...why did Cloud and mom split up?"

"How long were Cloud and mom together exactly in the first place?" Sora asked after me.

"I guess I'll start from the beginning," Aeris looked into her teacup, "Cloud and Tifa grew up together in a little mountain town, they were next door neighbors. When their homes burned down they left for Midgar together. Cloud joined SOLDIER, and Tifa went to school to become a martial artist. After a while she met Barret and they decided to open a bar, a hangout spot for everyone. It was called 7th Heaven."

It was odd to hear all of this, learning so much about my mother's life from a total stranger. As a child, one never really realizes that their parents did in fact have lives before them. It's a startling revelation.

"Yeah," I nodded, "she told us about the bar. She even opened a juice bar back on Destiny as a sort of tribute to it."

"Well after the bar was opened and a decent success in the sector seven slums, Cloud ran into Tifa again. Tifa was twenty, Cloud was twenty-one. I only remember their ages so well because I met them around this time and I was twenty-two." She blew on her tea to cool it down, "when sector seven's slum collapsed in on itself we were all there in the movement to help rebuild Midgar. Your mother took in all of the orphans that were left over from the slums collapse. It was a just cause. She made sure they had a place to stay and a warm plate while child services figured out what to do with them....Your father helped too, but had a habit of coming and going whenever he pleased. He was working as a delivery boy for Cait Siths company at the time. He never picked up his phone back then."

Aeris smiled to herself, seemingly lost in her memories for a moment, "it was an argument that was the last straw for Tifa. Their argument was over the phone. On one of the rare times that Cloud picked up. I was in the other room with Axel, tucking him in for a nap and could hear Tifa yelling through the thick walls. If your mother was the same with you as how I remembered her, she never yelled."

"No," Sora agreed, "she didn't."

"I'm not sure what they were fighting about, but the next thing I knew was that Tifa stormed into her room and began packing her things. I tried to talk her out of it, but she refused to hear anything about it. Promising to contact me when she reached her destination." She heaved a heavy sigh, "Cloud went searching for her. He searched for years and always came back empty handed."

I felt pity for Cloud, and horrible at all of things that I thought about him. I knew Sora felt worse.

"None of us knew that Tifa was pregnant until about five years after she left, she sent me a letter with a photo of you two." Aeris smiled at us, "you guys were so adorable! Making a little sand castle...I knew right away that you were Cloud's. I gave the letter and picture to Cloud. He was...devastated...to say the least. It was more upsetting that the envelope had no return address."

Sora and I sat there, staring at her quietly, our cookies and tea forgotten.

My whole world felt like it was crumbling in on me, everything felt distorted and out of place.

I had the strong urge to throw up. And after glancing over at Sora I realized that I wasn't the only one.

Olette came back into the room at that exact moment, "hey guys, Naminé wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight? Everyone's going to be there, it's going to be like last time."

Sora was on the verge of dry heaving, so I looked over at Olette, "we're going."

I think, after hearing all of this, I really needed a drink.

* * *

TBC

* * *

**ECK:** I really hated how this chapter turned out. All of that stuff about Tifa and Cloud wasn't supposed to be written; in fact I had originally planned for Leon to be the one to tell Rox everything in chapter 4. But I figured, with Sora there it'll make more sense. And I guess this kind of helps with what's going to happen in the next chapter.

Please review! They keep me alive! (Flames are always welcomed.)


	3. The Garden

Title:** Collecting the Stars**

Genre: Romance/Drama

Rating: M (for those who noticed, yes, it's now MATURE hehe)

Disclaimer: I no own

Note: This fic is AU, has slight OOC, and contains Yaoi. You have been warned.

Summary: [AU. Yaoi] – I'd like to tell myself that my life would've been fine had Axel not snuck into my window that first night.  
Main AkuRoku. Background Riso.

Thank You **Le Tenn** for being my beta!

* * *

"Blah" means talking

"**Blah**" means phone conversations

_Blah_ means thoughts

* * *

**Chapter 3: The Garden**

(SORA'S POV)

* * *

_Oh oh I really wanted that thing  
I just want to sing  
I love you baby  
Won't you bring  
All the flowers you  
Find out in the garden  
Don't tell me the truth  
That your heart has hardened_

_But you don't want me anymore  
How can it be  
Look what you've done to me oh oh _

* * *

Apparently "hanging out" in Twilight Town lingo meant having a huge ass party in that creepy mansion in the woods. The party was the kind of scene one would see in a B-rated horror movie. Like House of Wax; not the original, the remake with Paris Hilton. I just kept imagining someone there getting their head hacked off like Paris. Which really was one of the best parts in the film.

But I'm getting off topic. It worried me a bit that Roxas was knocking down jell-o shots like there was no tomorrow. If I recalled correctly, Rox never drank. It upset me to know that this was his way of coping with things. Unfortunately, I was being a hypocrite because I'm no better; sex was my way of dealing with things. Hot, wild, crazy, passionate: sex. There was no Riku in sight; he was still on the train, coming returning from Radiant Garden.

With a sigh I took residence on the rooms only seating arrangements, a white chaise, and waited for Riku to call me.

* * *

I bit my lip and felt my back arch on its own accord. Riku's mouth kept its relentless teasing, up and down and up and "_FUCK_." I whimpered. He had my hips pinned; he knew what he was doing. Chuckling around me, making me claw at the sheets.

Riku had come to get me at exactly ten on the dot. I told him where I was and he followed the path we had gone on earlier that day. But by then, I had took a hit or two of the weed filled hookah with Roxas, both of us laughing at how odd and awkward and WRONG we were about our lives. Then Riku showed up and I was so _horny_ with pent up raw emotions, everything was too much to handle. Especially when he kissed me.

We were in an upstairs bedroom in Naminé's mini-mansion. Riku had called a villa, but that was so long ago. It didn't matter. Right now I was a little high, and he was a little drunk, and Naminé let us take one of the many spare rooms that were upstairs.

My phone was ringing, but I didn't care. The music from downstairs was so loud; it drowned everything out. The party was still in full swing, and I knew that there were other couples in rooms right on the other side of ours, only the thin walls separating us. I didn't care about any of it. What I did care about was Riku, laughing at me and teasing me and torturing me.

It was an awful sort of pleasure.

He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew which spot to hit with every thrust, he knew just how to kiss me to make me tumble and fall over the edge, he –"oh. My. God. Riku. Right there. _Right there_! _**RIGHT THERE**_!"

Nothing else mattered; none of the horrible things that I had felt when Aeris dropped that bomb mattered. All that mattered to me was Riku, French-kissing me while making me see stars.

* * *

The first thing that I noticed was the sound of Riku's voice. He was using my phone, talking to someone about something. I sat up a bit more when he turned to me, looking a little worried.

"Who was that?" I asked, my voice low; I was practically whispering, almost afraid to say anything too loud. The music playing on the floor below us was still on, but turned down to the lowest setting.

"That was Cloud," Riku sighed, rubbing his face. He was wearing nothing but his boxers.

"Oh fuck," I moaned while rubbing my own face, "shit, we gotta get back to Cloud's place. Oh man, we didn't even call him to tell him where we were."

Riku nodded and sighed, standing up and handing me a damp towel, "here, clean yourself up as best as you can ok?"

I nodded and took the towel, watching my significant other get dressed. "You're going to go get Rox?"

He nodded and left the room silently.

I just felt cold and out of place. With the music practically silent it felt as if the magic was gone. There was no laughter downstairs, no obnoxious yelling about some stupid drinking game. No headboard banging against the wall, no sweet nothings whispered in the ear.

Riku was acting a little differently than usual, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. He's been this way for a while now. Kairi had teased me earlier this week and said it was trouble in paradise, and it worries me that she was right on target with that comment.

Trying to wake myself up a bit more, I got up and pulled my clothes on. After finally managing to place both shoes on my feet I left the safety of the secluded room.

The lights were still on overhead. The chandeliers were twinkling and shining.

Bodies littered the floor below. People were just piled on top of each other, were there really that many people here in the beginning? Would Roxas make being here for these parties a habit? I hoped not.

Riku was just waking up my twin when I approached him. Roxas was half asleep and half drunk, which was never a good combination. I let him lean against me as we headed towards the oversized exit.

"Axel wasn't here," Roxas slurred, nuzzling against my cheek. "He has red hair like a fire truck."

Riku rolled his eyes and we followed the lanterns that were still on in the trees back to the town.

We managed to get back to Cloud's by five,sneaking in through the window and just dumping Rox on his bed, he was asleep before his head hit the pillow. I didn't envy the hang-over that he was going to suffer once he woke up.

I was wide awake now standing in an awkward silence next to Riku.

Riku moved a hand through his hair and took in a few deep breaths. "This is probably the most inappropriate time for this, but Sora, what's going on with us?" He was staring at me expectantly. And I really didn't know what to say to him. It was all so confusing right now for me; it was all too much happening too fast.

"You're seventeen, I'm sixteen... I think we're acting how people our age act once they get in a serious relationship," I stated, although I really had no idea what I was talking about. Because right now I was very tired, not sleepy, just **tired**, and ready to just collapse right next to Roxas.

"Sora, I think we should break up." Riku wasn't looking at me, he was staring at a spot above my head.

I then closed my eyes and felt my bottom lip tremble before managing to blink away the tears, because Riku was right, we _should_ break up. "Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." Because Riku understood me, he knew what he was doing. It pained him just as much as it did me, but it needed to be done.

My best friend looked at me with those intense green eyes that I loved more than anything and opened his arms for me. We fell asleep on the floor, holding each other, a feeling of bittersweetness engulfing us.

Riku woke up before me, I knew this because he lifted me and placed me on the bed next to Rox. "Call me when you think you're ready for us to happen again," he whispered into my neck. He kissed my forehead before getting up and leaving. I curled up next to Roxas, allowing a few tears to fall down my face and onto the pillow below. Life was just a big mess.

_I_ was a big mess.

* * *

I woke up again a few hours later to an empty bed and a quiet house. It felt awkward to wake up in a foreign environment and know that you won't be able to leave any time soon. It was early evening according to Roxas' Moogle alarm clock, just after four.

Blinking my eyes a few more times, I turned to the window and discovered that someone was opening it from the outside.

"Oh shit!" the person yelped as they tumbled right into the closed blinds, making it collapse onto the floor with them.

I remained silent, watching the tall redhead stand up and hold the blinds out arms-length from himself, before looking back at the window and readjusting them. "There we go," he murmured. He apparently had yet to notice me, and that was a good thing I guess, it made me be able to observe him without him putting on a front.

Red hair like a fire engine...this was Axel.

The red head turned and literally jumped when he saw me sitting on the bed, watching him, "ohmyGod!" he put a large hand over his heart, taking in a deep breath. "Jesus Roxas, didn't I tell you to warn a guy next time?" he then looked me over, green eyes roaming over my face and body. "You're...not Roxas," he stated lamely.

"Nope," I agreed, "but you're Axel."

Axel gave me a cocky grin, "looks like my reputation precedes me. So Roxas-look-alike, what's your name?"

I arched an eyebrow, "Roxas looks like _me_, since I _am_ older than him. I'm Sora."

"Ooooh! _You're_ Sora," we remained in an awkward silence for a moment or two before Axel stated, "well, I'm only here to steal some food, so if you don't mind." He left his sentence hanging, because the truth was we both knew that I didn't care.

"Go right ahead, I think I'll stay here. If the food's good let me know." I grinned at him, he grinned at me, and then he was gone.

Even though my brother never mentioned anything about it, I could see why he liked Axel.

I can also see that Roxas and I had a thing for green eyes.

A few minutes after Axel left the room I decided to leave as well. Grabbing some fresh clothes from Roxas' closest and dresser, I made my way out of the room for a much needed shower. And maybe a quick finger brush of the teeth.

There was a man sitting at the dining room table, reading the newspaper with a forgotten plate of food in front of him. He wasn't ugly, in fact he could be deemed as model quality had it not been for the scar that ran across his face.

"Excuse me," I coughed a little, "sorry to be a bother, but where's the bathroom?"

He looked up from his paper, stormy gray eyes staring at me. A long pause was interrupted with, "upstairs. It's the first door on the left."

"Uh...thank you." I then walked as fast as possible towards the stairs, if only to avoid the man's all-knowing eyes. I wasn't stupid, that was probably Leon, the mysterious cousin that Roxas had said we suddenly had.

* * *

"So Sora, what do you want to do?" Axel asked, sucking on a bar of sea-salt ice cream.

Roxas watched the action with intensity in his eyes that made me extremely uncomfortable.

I stared into Axel's acidic green eyes. He looked like a demented clown to me, with his wild red hair, unnatural eye color, and freaky Cheshire grin. He was all bones and awkward angles. Yet Roxas was obviously attracted to him.

"I want to fall from the sky." I answered.

"Like sky diving? Parachuting?" Axel asked, eyebrows rose with interest.

I shook my head, "no, like the world is swallowing me whole."

The red head whistled lowly, "that's deep, kid."

Roxas looked at me and then at Axel, confused. Before he got to open his mouth an instrumental verson of the Mickey Mouse Club theme song began to blare from Axel's pocket.

The older guy winced, "that's the momster. I'd better get going. See you guys around yeah?" He stood, stretching a bit, before making his way to the window.

* * *

I shifted next to my now-sleeping brother, he seemed dead to the world. Twilight Town was eerily quiet at night, with only the distant sound of the train passing every few minutes. On the island one could always hear the lapping of waves along the orchestra of crickets and frogs.

My life was a mess; it was like shit hit the fan and landed everywhere. My mother wasn't exactly the woman that I remembered and thought her to be, and that bothered me more than I cared to admit. It didn't seem right to have to second guess a person once they were dead. It didn't seem right to think bad thoughts about them. There was nothing they could do about it now.

And Cloud...God, I treated him like shit. I was just awful and hurtful and resentful. I wasn't me, it was like this ugly darkness took over and I no longer had a heart when it came to dealing with the man whom I had always considered as nothing more than sperm donor.

In a way I was happy that Riku had decided to leave me here, he always knew just how to deal with certain things. I needed to find out what exactly happened between my parents. I wanted to know what their argument had been about, it couldn't have been so bad that my mom didn't want Cloud to have to do with anything in my- our- lives? She had never seemed the grudging type.

But then, I realized, I hadn't really gotten to know mom further than her being my mom. She was always just Mom, never Tifa Lockheart. That thought made me a bit queasy, there were people out there, people whom I've never had the chance to meet, that knew her much better than I did or ever would.

What I wanted was for Riku to hold my hand. But what I really needed was to grow a pair and ask for answers.

A cold feeling suddenly began to spread through my stomach and into my veins as I realized something else. Something that made me feel even worse about myself, because even though I was now going to stay in Twilight Town for who knows how long, I hadn't done something that I should have done from the beginning. Something that was very important.

I had yet to meet Cloud in person.

* * *

TBC

* * *

**ECK**: Okay, I wanted to end the chapter there partially because it seemed like a good ending spot, and partially because I wasn't exactly sure what to write. Sora's chapter is the shortest because I thought it was boring lol, thus is why this chapter is the shortest one up to date. Despite all of that, I love Sora and wanted to show how things are on his side of everything.

Apparently I put a bad link before, so I came in here to edit it :], if you're too lazy for this, there's a link on my profile:

http: //www. playlist. com/user / 9653212

Don't forget to take away the spaces!!!

Please review, flames are always welcome.


	4. Don't Trust Me

* * *

Title:** Collecting the Stars**

Genre: Romance/Drama

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I no own

Note: This fic is AU, has slight OOC, and contains Yaoi. You have been warned.

Summary: [AU. Yaoi] – I'm Roxas, 16 and recently forced to live with my estranged father, whom I've never met. I'm stuck in a town where all they do is drugs, sex, and wild parties. And the only person who helps me keep what little sanity I have left is an eccentric red head who sneaks in through my window.

Thank You **Le Tenn** for being my beta!

* * *

"Blah" means talking

"**Blah**" means phone conversations

_Blah_ means thoughts

* * *

**Chapter 4: Don't Trust Me**

* * *

_Black dress with the tights underneath  
I've got the breath of a last cigarette on my teeth  
And she's an actress but she ain't got no need  
She's got money from her parents in a trust fund back east_

_T-t-tongues always pressed to your cheeks  
While my tongue is on the inside of some other girl's teeth  
You tell your boyfriend, if he says he's got beef  
That I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him_

_She wants to touch me, woo ooh  
She wants to love me, woo ooh  
She'll never leave me woo ooh, woo ooh, ooh ooh  
Don't trust a ho, never trust a ho  
Won't trust a ho 'cause a ho won't trust me_

* * *

Cloud was surprised to see Sora still there the next morning. I would've been surprised too if I were him. My twin went up to our father and gave him a big hug. This only surprised Cloud even more and he looked uncomfortably awkward, unsure how to react.

"We're going into town today again. We might not make it back until really late, but we have our cells with us this time," Sora told him while pulling away, "we'll call you if we're going to be sleeping anywhere else."

Cloud blinked a few times and nodded.

Sora grinned and took my arm, "come one Rox, let's go. I want to visit Naminé, she was pretty cool. You know, in a serial killer way."

I exchanged a look with Cloud, something between us had shifted, and something clicked into place. We weren't exactly comfortable around each other, not quite, but we were no longer strangers sharing a house. He was our father, and we were his sons.

* * *

It was all Naminé's idea.

There was a concert in Radiant Garden that night; Axel's band was the opening act. I didn't even know that Axel had a band, but it should have been obvious, he seemed the type. I wanted to know what Axel did in his band, hell; I just wanted to know more about Axel.

"Everyone is going," Naminé reasoned, "I've got extra tickets since Marluxia and Larxene can't make it."

Marluxia, the creepy guy who worked in Aeris' flower shop. I vaguely remembered Larxene from the parties; she was the crazy blonde chick who enjoyed stripping down to her undies whenever she was too high. Personally, I always thought she came off as an uber- bitch.

"We'll go!" Sora answered, giving me a knowing look. I wanted to wipe the smirk off of his face. Was that how I looked whenever I smirked? If so then I looked like a smug ass-hat. "How do we dress? Does Axel's band play a specific genre?"

"You're such a fucking girl, Sora," I rolled my eyes.

Naminé giggled, "They play punk rock; just dress like a normal teenager." She smiled sweetly at Sora, her too bright eyes suddenly moved onto me, "Axel's favorite band is the Sex Pistols, and he'd probably love it if you were to wear something with them on it."

I furrowed my eyebrows, was I that obvious? Maybe I acted a certain way while drunk/high? A sudden flash of my first night at Naminé's goes through my mind. There was dancing involved, laughter, warm hands all over me... I had spent the entire night with Axel on my arm; acting like my purse, as Demyx had put it. Did I touch him? Did he touch me? In front of everyone? It bothered me that I couldn't remember any of it.

"You two can meet us up at the train station at five. We're going to be going over there early so that we can hang out with the band before they play," Naminé stated, taking her sketch book back out from seemingly nowhere. "I'll see you two later." This was her way of dismissing us.

Sora grinned at her and bounced his way off of the steps, I followed at a more casual pace. I needed to buy me a damn Sex Pistol's shirt.

* * *

I glared at Sora, he grinned at me teasingly.

I was wearing a black Sex Pistol's shirt that had a British flag on it along with the words _Anarchy in the UK_. It was amazing what one could find in a thrift shop. After buying it we went back to Cloud and Leon's place to wash it at least twice. I looked down at the jeans Sora had made me wear along with the black Chucks. My wrists had the usual checkered band and my fingers had the normal black and white rings. I was always more into ska than punk rock. I was a Rude Boy, not a Punkster.

Sora was wearing a pair of my jeans along with my red Chucks and a black tee that said "Got Chuck?" with an All Star logo on the back. He looked like a skater, when we both knew that it was me who skate boarded. Sora was more of a surfer bum.

"Ready to go or not? We still have to take the tram to the train station," I stated, attaching my wallet chain to my pants.

"Are we going out through the window?" My twin asked happily.

_Tap. Tap. Tap_.

"Most likely since Olette's here." I went to my window and flung it open; on the other side were Pence and Hayner.

"Let's go, Olette and Nam are already there," Hayner stated, arms crossing over his chest lazily. He was wearing cargos, steel toed boots and a black tee with a strange heart-like symbol on it.

"Does no one believe in doors? Seriously?" I asked while crawling out through the window. Sora followed immediately after.

"What's with the heart on your shirt?" he asked Hayner.

I looked over at Pence and realized he was wearing an almost identical shirt to Hayners. Only his shirt was a dark purple, which went well with his jeans and purple and white Jordan high-tops. "It's the logo to Axel and Demyx's band," Pence answered, smiling slightly. "Tradition is that if you go see them in concert you gotta wear the shirt. Since it's your two's first time you guys can by your shirts tonight, which is part of the reason why we're going early."

Olettes' was shirt was the same as Pence's, only she wore a jean skirt with black tights underneath and black sneakers.

Then there was Nam, wearing a white dress but her dress had the odd heart logo patterned on the bottom of her skirt, going full circle around the bottom hem. "Roxas, you're wearing a Sex Pistol's shirt!" she smiled at me.

"Oh yeah! That's Axel's favorite band!" Olette nodded as the six of us made our way into the station.

"Well, it seemed like a good thing to wear to a punk rock concert," I stated dumbly, behind me I could hear Sora and Hayner laughing at something Pence had said.

The evening commute made it so that everyone was coming into Twilight Town, so leaving was very easy.

"So what's the band's name?" Sora asked once we were all seated comfortably.

"13 Heartless Nobodies," Olette answered her tone and face full of pride. She was so obviously proud of her older brother.

But it made me wonder, were there actually thirteen people in the band?

* * *

Axel and Demyx were thrilled when the group of us showed up.

"You guys made it!" Axel beamed, his eyes immediately zeroing in on my Sex Pistols shirt and (if possible) his grin widened.

"Hayner! My baby!" Demyx draped himself dramatically over Hayner, making the younger teen uncomfortable.

"Get the fuck off me!" Hayner growled, annoyed.

"Don't be so mean to your handsome big brother! Where's the familial love? Roxas and Sora have it!" Demyx cried.

Everyone stared at Sora and I.

"We're twins," Sora stated while taking my hand, "we're allowed to be super close."

"Must be that whole twincest thing," Olette joked, which made everyone except me laugh. And though I was a little annoyed, I didn't want Sora to let go of my hand.

"So where's the rest of 13 Heartless Nobodies?" Naminé asked.

"They're setting up their crap," Axel answered easily.

"We're not called that anymore either," a male voice with an English accent stated from behind us.

The man was tall with blond hair, blue eyes, and a goatee.

"Hey Luxord, done already?" Demyx asked, still casually draped over his younger brother.

"Yes, Saïx is still setting up his drum set, and Zexion is going through our set list one last time." Luxord looked at Naminé, "and we're no longer called 13 Heartless Nobodies, we're called just going by _The Nobodies_ now."

Naminé looked like she wanted to say something when another man came up to us. His black hair was so dark that it looked almost grayish, his left eye covered by bangs, "we're all set. Saïx is talking to Nanaki about some things."

The first thing that my mind processed was that if this man wasn't Saix then he must've been Zexion. The second was that the name Nanaki sounded really familiar, but I couldn't place my finger on how.

Sora squeezed my hand, Nanaki sounded familiar to him too.

Zexion looked over at me, stared down at Sora's and mine's hands, then shrugged before saying to us, "you two would need our band shirts," he looked over at Olette, "you know where the extra's are, grab two for your friends. We're about to go on soon."

Olette laughed and disappeared into the backroom of the stage for a few minutes.

"Are you guys still having the after –party at Zell's?" Hayner asked from under Demyx's arm.

"Zell's their older brother," Pence explained to Sora and I quietly.

"Hells yeah we're having the after party at Zell's, we always do. He said he'll have food ready too." Demyx answered, leaning even more onto his younger brother, causing Hayner to roll his eyes.

Olette then came back out with two band shirts in her hands, one red and the other black, she handed them to Sora and I, grinning happily. "Let's go find seats, they're supposed to start in a few minutes."

* * *

"Welcome!" Axel greeted from his spot on stage. He gave the crowd a charming smile, "we're The Nobodies." The cheers that followed that statement was deafening.

Even though they were the opening act The Nobodies had the most fans in the place.

"Our first song is called Heartless, feel free to join in if you know the words," the red head grinned, moving his head away from the microphone.

Saïx, the drummer, hit his sticks together four times and then they began to immediately play the intro.

The music was different than what I honestly expected from The Nobodies. Kind of eerie, gothic, yet up beat and punk rock. It was surprising, but what took the cake was the sound of Axel's voice when he opened his mouth for that first lyric.

He blew my mind away.

* * *

After the concert was all over it was pretty late, and I was tired, but there was still the after party.

Zell's townhouse was just down the street from the club that we were at. He opened the door as soon as we knocked. Zell was blond haired, blue eyed and pale skinned with at tattoo on the side of his face.

"Welcome all come in! Chinese food just got here," he grinned while allowing us all to enter his home. After Sora and I were introduced we all just seemed to relax, it wasn't very hard to do so; Zell's townhouse just had a calming air to it.

The so-called "after party" was nothing like Nam's house parties. No, this only consisted of the band members and our small group. Apparently, we were the biggest fans.

* * *

I looked back at the band members, each sitting at Zells' table with a bottle of beer in their hands. Zell grinned at something Demyx was saying. It was funny, separated one would never be able to tell that Zell, Demyx, and Hayner were brothers, but stand them next to each other and it all just snapped into place. The key to that was Dem, he had the same light blue eyes as Zell and the same grin, but he also had Hayner's tan and darker blond hair.

I watched as Axel got up from the table with a packet of cigarettes in his hand, he headed towards the small balcony to smoke.

"Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness," Sora suddenly said while stretching his body at an odd angle. It was obvious that he was more than a little tipsy. He placed his hands behind his head, looking comfortable on wooden floor. "I'm gonna take a quick nap Rox, wake me up before you go-go, don't leave me hanging here like yo-yo," his voice trailed off and he was out like a light.

I sighed, looking down at him, "we told Cloud that we would go back home tonight." My twin was fast asleep.

Olette looked down at him, a tender smile on her mouth, "he's so cute when he's asleep!" She took a puff of the hash pipe that was being passed around between us.

Hayner scoffed, "if you like dopy and drooling. Oh wait...obviously you do, I mean, have you really _looked_ at Pence?"

Olette gave Hayner a mock glare, her face bright red. Pence had fallen asleep on the couch not ten minutes before Sora dozed off.

I snickered, it made me happy that this was a small party; it seemed to only consist of close friends. Did that make me a close friend? I was still the new kid, but they seemed to warm up to me so quickly, and what's worse, I warmed up to them. Hell, I had called Cloud's house HOME.

Nam's eyes were on me as I stood and stretched before making my way towards the small balcony.

"Hey," I greeted while closing the door behind me.

Axel looked at me through a smoky haze, "how'd you like the show?" He asked casually, tapping his ashes over the ledge. I watched the pieces float off into the breeze.

"It was epic, you guys kicked ass and were way better than the actual band."

The red head chuckled, "thanks."

A beat of awkward silence and I had no way to break that moment so I opted to remain silent and stare out of the balcony. From Zell's place one could see Hollow Bastion University perfectly.

"Are you and Naminé an item?" Axel suddenly asked, taking a drag of his cigarette. My heart dropped into my stomach and a wave of coldness swept over me.

"Uh, no," I coughed, clearing my throat, "do we look like one?"

"Eh, you two look cute together." He grinned up at me from his seat but I didn't look at him.

He thought that Nam and I would make a cute couple. He really wasn't into me at all, not that I could blame him; after all he was in his twenties and was way too cool for me. He probably saw me as nothing more than a friend of his baby sister.

I coughed once more, my eyes were burning and I could already feel them beginning to water around the edges, "it's getting late, Sora and I promised Cloud that we'd be home at a somewhat respectable time tonight." I took in a deep breath and managed to smirk at Axel, "so I think it's best if we head out now."

Axel crushed his cigarette and nodded at me, "alright, have a safe trip home." I felt dismissed, and it stung like a bitch.

I walked back into the place, suppressing my urge to slam the door shut behind me. Helping Sora up onto his feet, I said my good-byes and walked out, Naminé tailing behind me.

"I have to be home tonight, so it's safer going with you than alone," she reasoned with me.

Honestly I didn't care, my mind too busy trying to figure out exactly what happened outside with Axel and why I was stressing it so damn much. I knew that there was no chance between us; I mean our age gap was an indication of that. Why the fuck was I so damn attracted to him?

Sora leaned heavily on me, still half asleep with some drool falling down his chin. It was disgusting really, but adorable at the same time.

"Hey, Nam," I started my sentence, unsure of how to exactly finish it.

"Yes?" She asked as if she knew. She always acted as if she fucking _knew_. It got damn annoying at times.

"Do you think we look good together?" I asked her, staring out of the train's window, watching the flashing lights pass by as quick blurs.

"I think we look related," Naminé answered with a teasing smile on her face. How I wanted to wipe that look off of her face.

I rolled my eyes at her, "wanna be my girlfriend?" I asked, staring her straight in the eye. We _did_ look rather similar.

Naminé stared at me for a few seconds, and in those moments I knew she figured something about me out. Because this was Naminé, she always knew something about someone without anyone else really knowing.

Slowly, she nodded, "okay."

I let a relieved grin take over my face, "awesome. Thank you."

Getting a half-drunk Sora off of the train wasn't as hard as it might have sounded. We walked with Nam to the first tram stop, but she kept walking to her little hole in the wall.

"We'll talk more about all of this tomorrow, when you've had some time to think it over," Nam said to me over her shoulder, she disappeared before I got a chance to respond.

* * *

Getting Sora through the window was difficult, and amusing. After helping him change into some pajamas, not even bothering to help him shower (I had decided that I would change the sheets in the morning to prevent the smell of stale liquor from clinging onto my bed), he tucked in him.

Sora snuggled into the pillow and was out for the rest of the night easily. He was mumbling something about paopu fruit and Riku and saving Mickey Mouse.

His sleep noise made me feel more at ease. But sleep eluded me.

I lied in bed next to my twin, the room was so dark that I couldn't see my nose, but I stared up at the nothingness, the darkness, and wondered exactly what the fuck was going on in my life.

* * *

TBC

* * *

**ECK**: Dudes! I've been working on this chapter for freakin' weeks and it still isn't exactly how I wanted. For those who can't tell, this chapter is a filler XD. But it's an important filler 'cause next chapter's gonna be all WHOA.

**Next chapter**: Getting laid while higher than an airplane was never a good idea. Especially if you were a virgin while getting into it.

Anyway, please review! Any types of comments or flames are always welcome.


	5. Shut Up and Let Me Go

Title:** Collecting the Stars**

Genre: Romance/Drama

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I no own

Note: This fic is AU, has slight OOC, and contains Yaoi. You have been warned.

Summary: [AU. Yaoi] – I'm Roxas, 16 and recently forced to live with my estranged father, whom I've never met. I'm stuck in a town where all they do is drugs, sex, and wild parties. And the only person who helps me keep what little sanity I have left is an eccentric red head who sneaks in through my window.

Thank You **Le Tenn** for being my beta!

* * *

"Blah" means talking

"**Blah**" means phone conversations

_Blah_ means thoughts

* * *

**Chapter 5: Shut Up and Let Me Go**

* * *

_Shut up and let me go, this hurts I tell you so  
For the last time you will kiss my lips  
Now shut up and let me go  
Your jeans were once so clean  
I bet you changed your wardrobe since we met_

_Now oh so easily you're over me, gone is love  
It's you that ought to be holding me  
I'm not containable  
This turns up, it's not sustainable_

_I ain't freakin', I ain't fakin' this  
I ain't freakin', I ain't fakin' this  
I ain't freakin', I ain't fakin this  
Shut up and let me go, hey_

* * *

Dating Naminé was different, for lack of better words. Nam was an acid head, plain and simple. She liked to paint what she saw when she was high; she's never had a bad trip and she says that LSD makes her psychic.

We had been together for about three weeks, and I was at another one of her infamous parties. It made me worry a bit that partying was the only thing Nam really did.

In the three weeks that we've 'dated' I've learned a lot about her. I knew that she came from a rich family and that her father was letting her use their house in Twilight Town to work on her summer portfolio. That was why she was all alone, and that was why she could throw party after party. Apparently it was common knowledge that once the summer was over she would go back to her real life in the city. According to most of the people we party with, Nam was the spirit of summer.

Naminé grinned at me; her teeth perfectly white, and offered me some stamps to stick. Sora was busy talking with Pence and Hayner about Blitz Ball, and Olette was dancing with Larxene and seemed to be having fun just dancing. They all had a bottle of beer in their hands, but I knew that it was their first, and only, drink of the night.

I shrugged and took the stamp, licking the back happily. I knew what it was that she gave me, but for some reason I didn't care. Axel hadn't come in through my window in almost a month, and aside from the occasional sighting of him lounging around his parents' house whenever we hung out with Olette, I haven't really seen him either. I felt that he was avoiding me, and that hurt more than anything.

I shook those thoughts out of my head. I didn't need Axel. I really didn't, I was my own person after all. He was way too old for me, and obviously thought that I was straight and that I was better off with Nam.

So, I licked the stamps.

After that the night was pretty much a wonderful blur of warmth and happiness.

I came down from my high and blinked groggily, noticing that I was in a bed, feeling something hot and tight over my, er, _thing_. My hips were moving up on their own accord until I had managed to come down fully, and realized that Nam was riding me.

Her blonde hair was sticking to her sweaty body, her faced was flushed and her eyes were glazed.

Her movements were languid, gentle; she let out little gasps and moans. I stared at her with wide eyes, and she looked down at me with lust clouded ones. My breath was caught in my throat, and I wasn't sure what to do.

_Fuck_, what should I do?

I tried not to watch her, with her chest bouncing and her hands placed over my stomach to give her better leverage.

Naminé let out a strangled, choked, sob and her body convulsed over mine, I could only watch with morbid fascination. After a few more quivers she managed to get off of me and collapse onto the bed, giggling and sighing happily.

She didn't bother to move from her spot or say anything to me. I blinked, regaining my bearings.

I looked down at my half-mast erection, a small flood a relief swept over me as I noticed that I was wearing a bright red condom.

_Bright_ **red**.

The color of Axel's hair.

I felt the need to vomit.

Getting up, I quickly dressed, taking off and tying up the condom, throwing it into the waste basket that was near the door, whatever left of my hard on vanished. I could feel Nam's eyes on me with her fucking knowing gaze.

She didn't try to stop me, only watching my every move. I hated her for it. I hated her so much at that very moment.

As soon as I left the room I knew it was over between us.

* * *

My brother didn't question what happened last night, and I didn't bother explaining. I felt different, disgusting, and dirty. I bathed about four times since we got back to Cloud's the night before; it just wasn't enough.

Sora had gone out with Cloud about an hour ago to go to Traverse Town, which was about a forty-five minute drive away. When I turned down Cloud's offer to go, he opted to take his motorcycle, which made Sora nearly wet his pants with excitement. Leon was on a business trip to Balamb Garden, which was on the other side of the country. So I was pretty much alone all damn day.

Naminé hadn't called me or anything, and I didn't bother to reach her, but I think we both knew that there was no more us. I tried to forget exactly what happened, it wasn't like it was hard.

Something I had learned from that horrid experience: getting laid while higher than an airplane was never a good idea. Especially if you were a virgin while going into it. Fighting back the urge to cry in anguish and self-loathing, I slowly dozed off.

It was pouring outside when I finally woke up again. Thunder and lightning galore. But it wasn't the storm which disturbed my slumber, it was my phone.

"Hullo?" I asked sleepily.

"**Hey Rox, Cloud and I are probably gonna be stuck here at Traverse Town overnight, it's raining cats and dogs, they said that there are tornado warnings in effect until tomorrow morning too**," Sora's voice came out louder than usual, and I could hear the sound of rain in the background.

"Okay," I said quietly.

"**So be careful going out tonight! I'll see you in the morning**," I could hear his smile through the phone, "**I looooove you Roxas! Byeee**!"

"...I love you too Sora. Bye." I hung up at the same time he did.

I sat there in the darkness, the only sound was the storm, lying back down on my warm bed, and I allowed myself to doze off again.

The sound that woke me up the second time came from the kitchen. The light to the dining room was on, and the microwave was going off. I was still half asleep, not realizing that I was home alone for the night.

My stomach dropped when I saw a shock of red hair from the bar.

Axel. He was one of the last people that I wanted to see at that very moment.

He turned and jumped as he saw me, "Jesus Roxas! I told you! Give a guy a warning or something; it'd be nice to know that you're there!" He gave me his usual Cheshire grin. I could feel my heart ache; I hadn't realized how much I missed his presence these last few weeks.

"Well, why should I warn you when you're the one who broke into my house?" I asked him dully, giving him a mock glare.

"Your house now? And here I thought it was Leon and Rinoa's," He grinned at me.

"Huh?" I asked, slightly confused, "who's Rinoa?"

Axel tilted his head for a moment, as if trying to decide whether he should say anything or not, after a good five minutes of staring and making me very uncomfortable, he answered, "Leon's wife, er, _late _wife."

This was news to me, and I couldn't help but feel a slight stab of pain, poor Leon. I knew what it was like to lose someone you loved. I know that my love for my mom wasn't the same as Leon's for his wife, but it was still a strong love.

"How long ago did she pass?" I found myself asking, watching him pour a steaming bag of popcorn into a bowl.

"It's been about two years, but we all still tend to talk about her like she's still alive. Only, we never talk about her around Leon. Ever. So just pretend like you never found out this interesting tidbit." He pasted another grin onto his face, tossing some popcorn into his mouth.

I nodded and stared at him, "why are you here again?"

Axel shrugged, taking the bowl and heading towards the living room, "it's pouring out and Sora told me that you were here alone. So, being the good guy that I am, I decided to check up on you. Plus it's kinda impossible for me to go back home now, there are tornado warnings until morning dude."

Sighing dramatically, I flopped down on the love seat; Axel was flipping through the channels. It was nice to have someone else in the house with me, even if it was Axel.

* * *

Warm hands were tracing over the contours of my face, soft lips leaving a light, butterfly, kiss on my forehead, hair tickling my cheeks.

I groaned and looked up, it was still dark outside, and the only light was from the muted television.

"Axel?" I asked, confused.

"Tell me something Rox, was dating Naminé worth it?" He looked down at me with narrowed green eyes, and although I could barely see him, I could tell that he was irritated.

"Why does it matter to you? You're the one who said we'd look good together," I hissed back through clenched teeth.

What the Hell was he getting at? Why did it matter? Why did he care? I was starting to get a headache, he was sending me mixed signals and it was really confusing. He was way too close to me; I could feel his breath on my face. My eyes fluttered close, and it was as if I was waiting for him to make some sort of move. Something!

Instead Axel shrugged and moved back, up and away. "The rain's let up, I should be getting home."

"Isn't there still a tornado warning?" I asked, very confused.

Axel shook his head, "they said it was safe to go out about an hour ago."

He was gone before I got to say a word; I stared at the TV, not really watching it. "You're an asshole," I cursed, although there was no point now, it was me and an infomercial making the only noise in the entire house.

* * *

From my position in bed I could hear the front door slam shut. Cloud's low, soft, voice saying something; and Sora's enthusiastic reply.

Sora tugged on my sheets. Judging by the sunlight that flooded into my bedroom it had to be sometime in the afternoon. "It's three! Are you just going to stay in bed all day you lazy bum?"

He tugged some more, I didn't budge.

"Go away," was my pillow muffled response, pulling the blanket even more over my head to cover my head, "just leave me alone."

Sore immediately stopped, "...are you okay Roxas?"

I let out a heavy sigh, "I think I'm heartbroken." I answered, lower the sheets from above my head, lying on my back and staring at the ceiling.

"You're so damn dramatic," Sora smiled easily at me, "was it Nam or Axel?"

"I never felt anything for Nam!" I glared at the ceiling, watching as the fan spun lazily.

"Then it was Axel." Sora looked at me expectantly.

"Yes. No. I don't know Sor, everything's just so damn messed up," I picked at the sheets, and suddenly I'm thrown back to a few nights ago, I half expected to look up and see Naminé to be looking back down at me as she bounced herself. I quickly tried to shake the image out of my head.

"I heard you and Naminé broke up," Sora stated, draping himself so lay across my legs comfortably.

"Yeah," I breathed, eyes closing. I didn't want to think of her nude figure above me, nor did I want to think about the tight hotness that I felt through the rubber. It made me feel sick. "When did you hear? Who told you?"

"Olette texted me yesterday, asking why you and Nam broke up. I made up some shit about it being a mutual decision and that you two just didn't see each other like that. I called you to ask, but you never answered last night," his voice vibrated through his back and up my calves.

"Sorry, I kinda slept the night away," because sleep let me escape my thoughts.

He shrugged, "want to tell me what happened?" Sora's eyes were still fixed on the ceiling fan.

"We had sex."

A long silence. Way too long for Sora and I. I shifted and he wiggled around to get more comfortable then finally said. "Wow."

"Yeah, it...I think she kind of took advantage of me. But it was my fault; I put myself in that predicament." I shrugged this time.

Sora sat up and looked down at me suddenly, "you and Nam made a mistake, but you're smart enough to use protection. She's not pregnant, and you're not in love with her. Are you going to tell Axel how you feel?"

I snorted and curled up on my side, facing him, "and how _do _I feel Sora?"

"Pretty damn confused, but you should look past that and do what your heart tells you to do," he smiled softly.

I rolled my eyes, "thanks for the Disney advice."

"You're very welcome;" my twin said sincerely, "now get your ass up, Cloud wants us to help him make dinner."

* * *

Cloud wanted us to make our own Sheppard pie, which was fun. I even got to make my father laugh, which was nice.

We only spent about an hour together, and I've noticed how much I was like him. Sora was a lot like our mother: sweet, understanding, kind, patient, and with a fiery temper.

Cloud was quiet, sarcastic, witty, and calm. It was odd that I was like him in so many ways, despite only meeting him a few weeks ago. Cloud didn't look bad for his age; then again he was only thirty-seven.

As we sat down to eat Sora chatted away about nothing and everything. Mentioning Kairi, Tidus, Wakka, Selphie, the island, Blitz Ball. He never once mentioned Riku.

"What was it like, to grow up on Destiny?" Cloud asked quietly.

My twin and I exchanged looks, and I answered, "it was peaceful, laid back, easy-going. We lived above Mom's juice bar cafe, it was nice."

It felt good, to be able to talk about home without feeling resentment or bitterness.

"How was Tifa? Towards the end?" Cloud asked, fork playing around with his peas.

We both went silent for a few minutes, how did we explain that one, "by the last six months Mom had accepted that her cancer wasn't curable. She donated her hair before cutting it real short. She looked so weird with short hair," he gave a short laugh at the memory.

"Mom tried to keep a smile on all the time," I continued, Sora was too far gone. Lost in his memories. "Her hair was really long, but she had decided to get rid of it before the chemo did. She began to sell some furniture and stuff just to help make sure that Sora and I had something to live off of."

"Mom, she had a lot of regrets," Sora suddenly said.

I nodded in agreement.

Mom did have a lot of regrets. I couldn't help but think if never telling Cloud about us was one of them.

* * *

I had locked my window for about a week and half before taking Sora's advice and following my heart.

It was mid-July and I found myself at the street entrance to Olette's house, taking in a deep breath I pressed the buzzer. A few moments later the kitchen window opened and a head popped out. At first I thought the man was Axel, but he had black hair and a more mature face.

"Which one you here for?" he asked, staring at me with an amused look.

I looked up at him helplessly, "Axel." I answered, shifting uncomfortably.

The man nodded, "he'll be down in a minute, go on and wait in the shop." He then shut the window, leaving me staring at the space he was just in. I had wanted to avoid the flower shop, Marluxia really did creep the crap out of me. Luckily for me he wasn't working that day, or if he was working it wasn't at the register.

Olette smiled at me from the front counter, "hey Roxas." She looked very happy to see me; then again it's been forever in teen years since we've last seen each other. I felt that she probably pitied me a little, because Sora may have been spreading that it was a mutual break up, but everyone always thought that it was the girl who ended the relationship.

"Hey Olette," I greeted back, leaning against the counter casually, "how've you been, since, you know?"

I arched an eyebrow at her, "since Naminé and I split?" I wanted to laugh at the awkward look on her face, it was amusing. "I've been fine, just spending some time with my dad."

"How is Cloud? Is he doing well?" Leave it to Olette to jump on the chance to change the subject once things got uncomfortable for her.

The metal door in the hallway opened and Axel stuck his head out, glancing around the door. He looked as if he was just woken up, he had bags under his eyes and his hair was messier than usual. Tired green locked with mine, "so you're finally here to visit me for a change," he yawned, "come on upstairs."

Olette watched us then gave me a bright smile, "see you later Roxas!"

I nodded at her and followed Axel up the stairs, to the second door at the top, and straight into the warm kitchen. The dark haired man from before was sitting at the small kitchen table, eating a sandwich.

"This is my dad, Zack. Pops, this is Roxas," Axel pointed a thumb at me as he introduced me to his father.

"Oh yeah, you're Cloud's youngest son," Zack smiled at me, and it looked exactly the same as Axel's.

"Yeah, I'm the youngest." I said lamely, trying my hardest to not appear as awkward as I felt.

Zack smiled at me warmly though, "you look a lot like your father."

"Well, there goes the confirmation," I grinned.

Zack laughed, "do you want something to eat or drink kid?"

I shook my head, "nah, I'm good."

Axel grinned, "come on; let's go chill in my room.

Axel's room wasn't what I expected at all. One would think that he'd have clothes everywhere, posters on the walls and old food in random places. It wasn't like that at all.

First off the walls were pretty much bare, and painted a soft blue. Secondly, his room was clean, almost disturbingly so. He had a clean desk with a laptop on top; shelves full of books covered an entire wall. His bed was against the only window in the room, which had a great few of the station and, if one actually looked at it, the skyline of Hallow Bastion.

"So, what makes you grace me with your presence?" He asked, taking a seat on his messy bed. The only unorganized thing in his entire room.

I stared at him for a moment; he was wearing a pair of extremely baggy sweats and an overly large t-shirt. "I, um," I looked down at the carpeted floor for a few moments. I couldn't lose my nerve. It was now or never. Do or die.

"You um?" Axel teased. Sexy smirk on his face, green eyes shining.

I allowed a blush to spread across my face and over the tips of my ears, the heat radiating off of my face was almost unbearable, "I...I need to know something." I looked him straight in the eye with the most serious look I could muster.

"What do you need to know?" he asked, suddenly as somber as I was.

I began to pace his floor for a moment. Back and forth, between the desk and the headboard, desk and headboard, back and forth. I ran my hands through my hair; pulling gently on the follicles and grinding my teeth to prevent myself from letting a scream of frustration escape my throat. I didn't want to chicken out.

"Why do you keep sending me mixed signals?" I turned to him, arms crossed over my chest.

"Pardon?" He asked, looking confused.

"You know what I'm talking about!" I glared.

Axel gave me a sharp look, "you're a kid Roxas. You don't know what you're talking about."

I felt the urge to punch that pretty face of his, "don't talk to me as if I don't know anything!" I hissed I didn't want our voices to rise; I didn't want his dad to hear. And this right now was between the two of us.

Axel stood, and suddenly he was towering over me, "but you don't know Roxas," he gave me this heated look. "You _don't __**know**_."

I stared up at him, "then explain."

Axel shook his head, "I think it's best if you leave."

Tears of anger, hurt, and frustration sprung to my eyes before I got a chance to rein my emotions, "Fine. Be an asshole." I turned my back to him and blinked away the tears while swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat.

I opened his bedroom door and let myself out of his home, practically running out of the shop. I ran wherever my legs decided to take me, I really didn't know where I was until I stopped in front of The Usual Spot, which was where Olette had taken me my second day here in town. I moved the flap of clothe that separated this place from the rest of the alleyway and curled up on the ugly green couch.

_Way to go Roxas, aren't you just the greatest epic failure_? My thoughts then began to run wild, showing me the what-if's and the should've beens. Maybe it was best if I just give up on Axel. Maybe I should just move back home where it was safe and I didn't have to deal with all of this bullshit.

I wish I had someone who could give me good advice when I needed it. Someone to tell me it was all going to be okay no matter what. Someone who would love me and care about me no matter how emo, or angsty, or dramatic I could get sometimes.

I've never missed my mother more than I did that that very second.

* * *

TBC

* * *

**ECK**: Surprisingly, this chapter just poured out. You know, this fic feels like an indie film to me. I don't even know where any of this is going anymore. All of the characters are just running around doing whatever the Hell they want! I hope no one hates me too much for letting Roxas lose his virginity to Nam. If you do, then send me a flame XD. Yeah, I'm so desperate for reviews that I'm asking for flames ha-ha!


	6. Love Games

Title:** Collecting the Stars**

Genre: Romance/Drama

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I no own

Note: This fic is AU, has slight OOC, and contains Yaoi. You have been warned.

Summary: [AU. Yaoi] – I'm Roxas, 16 and recently forced to live with my estranged father, whom I've never met. I'm stuck in a town where all they do is drugs, sex, and wild parties. And the only person who helps me keep what little sanity I have left is an eccentric red head who sneaks in through my window.

Thank You **Le Tenn** for being my beta!

Also, thank you **Capeircorn,** for that certain line that occurs between Zexion and Demyx in this chapter. Now you can't sue me XD

* * *

"Blah" means talking

"**Blah**" means phone conversations

_Blah_ means thoughts

* * *

**Chapter 6: Love Games**

* * *

_Let's have some fun, this beat is sick  
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick  
Let's have some fun, this beat is sick  
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick_

_I wanna kiss you  
But if I do then I might miss you, babe  
It's complicated and stupid  
Got my ass squeezed by sexy Cupid  
Guess he wants to play, wants to play  
A love game, a love game_

* * *

Sora was at Nam's for one of her many wild parties; I was tired of going to parties three times a week. And what's more, I had yet to face Naminé, I didn't want to. Everything just felt so damn, superficial; I was kind of starting to hate it.

So, instead of partying with the usual crowd, I made my way over to Phil's Pizza Place and took a seat in the booth that we had occupied last time we came here. It was pretty crowded with college kids and young couples. Not surprising since it was a Friday night.

Demyx slid across from me, wearing street clothes and a bright smile, "hey Rox, I'm surprised you're not at Nam's party."

I shrugged, "didn't really feel like it."

The waiter came up to our table, and I was a little surprised to see that it was Zexion, "what can I get you to drink?" he asked, acting as if he didn't know us.

"Hey sexy Zexy," Demyx winked playfully, "I'd like a beer. And for my underage friend here, he'd like a coke."

Zexion rolled his eyes and then looked at me, "you want a coke?"

I shrugged, "sure."

Once Zexion left to get our beverages, Demyx turned his curious blue eyes to me, "so, what's going on between you and Axel?"

The question caught me off guard, and it must have shown on my face because he just snickered and shook his head.

"Axel's my best friend; I know when something's wrong with him dude. And I know for a fact that there's _something_ going on between you two." He gave me an insightful look, as if searching for the answers that he wanted.

"Well, nothing's going on between us. Axel's been avoiding me like the plague and at the moment I really don't want anything to do with him," I glared down at the table's glossy top. I felt like such a pansy, like such a damn dramatic teenage girl.

Zexion chose that moment to come back with our drinks, "you guys ready to order?"

"Hey, Zexy, I think I now know why Axel's been avoiding Rox here," Demyx sounded excited, as if about to share some great secret.

"Why's that?" Zexion asked, not seeming the least bit interested.

"Because he's deeply in love with him and wants to have his babies!" Demyx grinned, proud of himself, and I nearly choked on my drink.

"Excuse me?" I asked, but was ignored.

"Of course," Zexion said in a monotone voice, "that's the only logical excuse."

I rolled my eyes, "I want a slice of pineapple pizza," I ordered, watching as Zexion wrote it down. Demyx ordered some stuffed shells.

"So the question is," Demyx began again once his friend was gone, "do you feel the same way?"

"What I felt was nothing more than infatuation. We don't know each other well enough for it to be called 'love,' it's just attraction." I glared at him.

"So have some butt sex and get it over with. Maybe you two can try having a relationship or something," Demyx nodded to himself, as if it all made perfect sense.

"Right, because him being about five years older than me is no big deal," I turned to look at the other patrons. Praying that none of them were listening on our conversation, which would be embarrassing.

Demyx shrugged, "age ain't nothing but a number."

"Yeah, until you're arrested and put in prison for statutory rape, then it's a big deal," I crossed my arms.

"Then don't get caught if you don't want that to happen," he frowned at me, head tilted to the side, "go over to his house right now and straighten out whatever the Hell is going on between the two of you. I'm tired of seeing him all depressed. He's no fun that way, dude."

"I'm not going to his house," I stated simply.

"Uh, yeah, you are," Demyx nodded, as if he were right, "no one else is there. Just him; and he's probably just sitting on his ass watching TV. So you're going over there, like, now."

It was then that I realized that this was all a setup. Zexion hadn't come back with our food because this was all preplanned.

I glared my worst glare at Demyx, "this is unbelievable," I stood up and frowned down at Demyx.

He waved me off, "I'll pay for your drinkage and stuff, just _go_."

With one last heated glare I stomped out of the pizzeria, but on the inside my heart was beating a mile a minute.

* * *

The flower shop was eerie in the dark, but I rang the doorbell to the side entrance, despite how creepy this part of town looked at night. After a few minutes of waiting, the window above opened and a spiky head popped out.

"Roxas?" he asked in disbelief.

"Let me up," I practically commanded; there was no questioning tone in my voice, and I knew for a fact that he knew that too.

The window slammed shut, and for a moment I thought that he was just going to leave me out here in the darkness. But after a few more minutes the front door opened, "what the hell are you doing here?" he asked, green eyes narrowed.

I held my head up high and stared him down, "I'm here to talk."

He leaned against the doorjamb, "you just don't know when to give up, do you?"

Crossing my arms over my chest, I stood up perfectly straight, "are you going to let me in or not?"

He stared at me for a little while, before nodding his head and leading me into his home.

We stood in the dark living room; the only sound was coming from the TV which was playing reruns of Family Guy.

"So, what do you want?" he asked, flopping down on the couch comfortably.

I stared at him before taking in a deep breath and straddling him.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Axel cried out in surprise, eyes going as wide as possible, but he made no attempt to move me.

"I want us to talk; I'm tired of whatever it is that's going on with us. Whatever the hell it is. I know for a fact that you feel it too. So here I am, offering myself, please tell me you'll take me," I stared him in the eyes, the only light in the room was from the television.

"I don't think you know what you're asking for," he sighed, and I could feel his hot breath on my cheek.

"Why do you think that?" I asked, a little confused.

"Because it's WRONG Roxas, you're my kid sister's friend for fuck's sake. You're just a baby! I'm too old for you, and you're too young for me," he stated calmly.

So Axel was thinking the exactly same things that I had been. Age was a tricky thing indeed.

"God, we're both stupid," I let a grin form on my face, "I mean, to put it bluntly, I want you. And it's now pretty damn obvious that you want me. Don't worry about our age gap, at least not for tonight. Please."

"No one else would see it as us just having… something, for each other. You being sixteen and my not being sixteen would be a big deal, dude," Axel stated, hands squeezing my hips.

I sighed, "Axel, just for tonight. Just for tonight, please, just forget about that stupid shit." I leaned forward so that our foreheads were touching.

He stared at me for a while, it was unnerving. It was like he was searching for an answer, but I wasn't sure the question.

"Fine," he finally whispered before crashing his mouth on mine.

Now, I've been kissed before. All of those kisses paled in comparison to this one. I couldn't explain it right even if I wanted to, but it felt as if fireworks exploded throughout my body… in a good way.

Our kiss deepened, and I couldn't help but moan into it, this was what I had wanted to do since we first met two months ago. I gripped the collar of his shirt, trying to pull us closer together, his fingers dug into my waist, I could his feel his blunt nails leaving marks through the material of my shirt.

I felt as if I were high on life. My skull was empty, leaving me light-headed, my body was reacting without my control, and my mouth was letting words tumble out without my meaning it to.

I vaguely recall getting off of the couch and being led to his bedroom, where he closed and locked the door. I was almost shoved onto his bed, and was ravaged in more bruising kisses. My neck was bitten roughly, and his warm, calloused, hands were everywhere.

Our clothes were removed in frenzy. His mouth moved from mine down my throat, collar, chest, and lower. Dangerously lower.

"Fuck," I hissed.

It felt really fucking good.

I held onto his sheets for dear life, biting my bottom lip almost painfully. It was a little awkward, and a little painful.

The house was so quiet that I could hear every single noise that was made between us, and it only added to the heat, the friction, and the waves of pleasure.

Even though I had just given my virginity to Naminé almost two weeks ago, what had happened between she and I was nothing compared to what was going to happen between Axel and I.

I clawed at him; my mind in a haze, my eyes half-lidded, and my nerves tingled with hot white pleasure-pain. He was relentless; the night went by too quickly, causing us to break dawn easily.

* * *

They say that the morning after is usually supposed to be awkward.

I woke up to the sound of Olette banging on the bedroom door, "wake up you lazy ass! You're gonna be late for work!"

"I'm up! Go away!" was the grouchy reply of the lump next to me.

I sat up and glanced around the room. With the exception of the clothes that were practically ripped off the night before, it was still pretty organized. I looked down at the messy red hair that was attached to a pale neck, and broad freckled shoulders. His face was in his pillow.

"Maybe you should get up. Wouldn't want you to be late for work," I stated, trying to ignore the fact that we were both nude with only a thin sheet covering us.

"I'm waiting for her to go back downstairs so that you can sneak out," Axel answered with a sigh.

I nodded before realizing that he couldn't see me, "sounds like a plan. Mind if I used your bathroom first?"

Axel took a quick shower while I finger-brushed my teeth and tried to make myself look semi-decent in the night before's rumpled clothing and bed head.

My cell had informed me that I had twelve missed events. One call from Cloud, and eleven from Sora. My twin was going to murder me, but the extra trouble I knew I was in was worth it, if only to see Axel in his work uniform. Apparently he worked for his dad in an auto shop. The fact that he was a grease monkey was honestly a turn on.

Axel walked me down through the front entrance of his home.

"We're still friends, right?" he asked cautiously, leaning against the doorjamb.

I nodded, "we'll always be what we were."

To that he nodded then leaned forward and gave me a sweet goodbye kiss.

* * *

Sora sat outside of my bedroom window, waiting impatiently for me.

"Where the fuck were you last night?! And don't you dare lie to me! I covered for you and told Cloud that we both spent the night at Nam's, so start talking!" He glared at me heatedly.

"I'll tell you as soon as we're inside," I said while opening the window. It was just pasts noon, so there was no one home other than the two of us. I really needed to ask Cloud for a copy of the key for the front door.

As soon as the window was shut and locked he turned to face me, "spill!"

I started taking off my shoes, "I was with Axel last night." I didn't need to look up to know that Sora's face was full of surprise.

"All night?" He asked quietly.

"Yes," I took off my socks.

"Did you use a condom?"

"Yes! Jesus!" My face flushed with embarrassment.

"Is this gonna be a regular thing for you?" Sora asked, concern lacing his voice, "I mean don't get me wrong, I like Axel, I'm just worried 'cause he's so much older than you."

I gave Sora a warm smile, "don't worry so much, I know what I'm doing."

Although, deep down I knew otherwise and was hoping that everything would turn out alright in the end.

* * *

So life went back to how it was before. I hung out with Hayner, Pence, and Olette most days. Sora preferred to spend time with Naminé, but whenever we all managed to chill it was usually at Olette's house. Sometimes Axel wasn't there, but most times he was. And I would act as if nothing happened between us.

"So Nam, are we cool?" I asked while we all sat in Nam's living room having a Brawl tournament between the group of us. Demyx, Zexion, and Axel were playing as well, but no one was paying Naminé or me any attention.

She gave me a small smile and nodded, "of course. I never thought otherwise."

Just like that it was fixed between us. The awkwardness was lifted and we were buddies again.

* * *

A few days later I was told that Olette was going to sleep over at Nam's house while Zack and Aerith left town for a few days.

Axel grinned down at me from his perch at his kitchen window when I rang the doorbell. I was let up with no argument.

We nearly lunged at each other as soon as I reached the top of the stairs, mouths pressed in heated kisses. I'm not sure how we managed to maneuver to Axel's bedroom without breaking apart, but we did it. He easily tugged my shirt up and off my body, and I did the same to him. We took off our jeans in a needy hurry.

I fell back onto the mattress as he crawled on top of me, kissing my neck and biting my shoulders while his hips gyrated against mine. Our tongues fought against each other violently as he lowered my boxers. I mimicked his actions by doing the same to him.

He broke away from me and moved to pick up something from the window ledge, and made me place my knees on top of his shoulders. I covered my face, embarrassment radiating off of me.

"Relax," he said soothingly, kissing my thigh while entering me with one lubed up finger.

Even though we did this less than a week ago, it still burned. It was still awkward, and slightly painful, and an awful sensation. But I did as I was told; I relaxed as best as one could in this predicament. After a while he entered me, and I ground my teeth, squeezing my eyes in pain.

Axel paused and kissed my face, he was pretty patient. I let out a breath that I hadn't even realized I was holding and he began to move. I endured, hoping that the pleasure would appear like last time, and it did. As soon as Axel repositioned my hips I felt him rub against _that_ spot.

"God, yes," I moaned, hips trying to move with his, but he was having none of it, and held me down firmly.

He continued like this for what seemed like an eternity, my nerves fluttering with pleasure. Then Axel reached for me and began to stroke me in time, moving faster, harder, and deeper. To my shame and embarrassment, it was the hardest that I ever came in my entire life. And that was only the first time that night, the first of many.

* * *

I had to be out of Axel's house before Olette got home at around three in the afternoon. Unfortunately neither of us woke up until about two-thirty.

I had just jumped out of the shower and was managing to pull my boxers up when Axel's bedroom door slammed open.

"Wake up you lazy—" Olette's words died in her throat as she stared at me in shock. I was freshly showered; Axel had just jumped into the running water. The room smelled like stale sex, the window was wide open to air it out; the sheets were taken off of the bed and balled up in a corner of the room, ready for washing.

"What the fuck is this!?" Olette screeched.

"Oh shit," I whispered to myself and hurriedly pulled up my jeans and stuffed my feet into my shoes, forgoing socks. Tossing my shirt over and onto my body I pushed past Olette, using more force then I should have.

"Where the fuck are you going?!" she demanded, but this time the noise had made Axel turn off the water and I knew that he was waiting for her to calm down before stepping out of the bathroom.

"I'm going home, Olette," I stated simply, making my way down the hallway towards the home's main entrance and practically throwing myself down the stairs and out the building.

Maybe I shouldn't have left like that. I should have stayed and helped explain things with Axel try to salvage my relationship with Olette and made her promise not to blab to anyone. I should've done a lot of things. Instead I found myself running all the way home, pulling up the window and tumbling in before closing and locking it.

Sora looked up from his perch on my bed, a book forgotten on his lap, "what's up?"

I shook my head, out of breath.

He shrugged, "Kairi called, she's going to be coming by tomorrow. To take me home."

I stared at my twin for a moment or two, before promptly passing out due to the lack of oxygen my brain was receiving.

* * *

TBC

* * *

**ECK**: Let it be known that I don't support minors dating adults. I think if you're 21 then you should stick to adults around your age. Same goes to teenagers! If you're under 18 then stick to kids your age. I mean, sure, love has no age, but I still can't say I agree with kids dating adults. Even if the kids are mature and the adults immature. Ugh, I wish I can explain better!

Also, since I'm on vacation at the moment, I won't be able to work on chapter 7 for a while. It'd be great if people can give suggestions as to what I _should_ write. Keep in mind that Kairi's going to be in it. I'll give the person/people who inspire me credit too! Yeah…I'm uninspired, makes me sad lol.

Anyways, knowing people read this keeps me alive. So please, review! Flames are always welcome.


	7. Only One

Title:** Collecting the Stars**

Genre: Romance/Drama

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I no own

Note: This fic is AU, has slight OOC, and contains Yaoi. You have been warned.

Summary: [AU. Yaoi] – I'm Roxas, 16 and recently forced to live with my estranged father, whom I've never met. I'm stuck in a town where all they do is drugs, sex, and wild parties. And the only person who helps me keep what little sanity I have left is an eccentric red head who sneaks in through my window.

WARNING: Unbeta'd, beware the errors.

* * *

"Blah" means talking

"**Blah**" means phone conversations

_Blah_ means thoughts

* * *

**Chapter 7: Only One **

(SORA'S POV)

* * *

_Broken, this fragile thing now  
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces  
And I've thrown my words all around  
But I can't, I can't give you a reason  
I feel so broken up (so broken up)  
And I give up (and I give up)  
I just wanna tell you so you know_

_Here I go, scream my lungs out  
And try to get to you  
You are my only ony  
I let go  
There's just no one who gets me like you do  
You are my only, my only one_

* * *

I had known for over two weeks that Kairi was coming to collect me, but I wasn't sure how to break the news to Roxas. He was going through a lot of his own drama, and I honestly didn't want to add what was going on with mine onto his.

Kairi had called me the day of the tornado warning, when I had spent the night in Traverse Town with Cloud. That day was pretty amazing, I got to spend the entire day with our father, getting to know him and talk to him about anything and everything. And the motorcycle ride was just plain awesome, I'd have to get one of my own some day.

In Traverse Town Cloud and I had gone to see a man named Cid (I think he was one of the people that Aeris had mentioned) for a package for Cloud's boss. Cid was a tall, cranky, older man who always had a cigarette dangling from his thin lips. He had crows feet and cropped blond hair that was kept spiked up, angry blue eyes and a slight limp to his step. In my opinion, and this was based on first impressions, he was a jerk off. Although later on Cloud tried to assure me that Cid had just lost his wife, Shera, not six months ago, and that before that he wasn't always an asshole— he was just grieving.

The storm was horrible over there, so we had to spend the night in one of the many hotels. Apparently everyone traveled there for business. We had managed to land a Jack-and-Jill room, so that way we had our privacy without being separated, just in case. My dad even took me to a restaurant to feast, which was awesome 'cause I tend to get hungry pretty fast. There was no such thing as too much food for me.

We sat there in the small, cozy, hole in the wall and enjoyed burgers the size of small pizzas, just thinking about it makes my mouth water.

"So, besides playing on the Blitz Ball team, what else are you into?" Cloud had asked in-between bites.

"I like fencing. Riku and I practice that all the time, he's the best on the boys team," I replied easily, no longer feeling that pinched pain in my chest whenever I mentioned my best friend.

"Riku? The boy who brought you here with Roxas' belongings?" Cloud looked up at my curiously, as if figuring something out.

I swallowed a large chunk of burger while nodding, "yeah, he's my , er... _was_, boyfriend." So there it was, out on the table, I looked my father straight in the eye and basically told him I was gay. It didn't bother me, unlike my twin; I wasn't in the closet and was perfectly comfortable in my skin.

To my surprise Cloud smiled, "are you going to get back with him any time soon? You two looked good together."

My face split into a happy smile, "yeah, probably, once I go back home."

He arched an eyebrow, "you're not staying here." He stated rather than asked, nodding to himself with his usual serious expression.

I shook my head and sighed, "I'm not," I stated, quietly agreeing with him, staring down at my hands which rested on the table. Unsure what else to say.

Cloud took a sip of his beverage and I looked out of the window, it was still raining outside.

* * *

The ride home on the slick, wet, streets while on a speeding motorcycle was exhilarating. It was so dangerous, something that my mother would never let me do, and it made me feel naughty doing something that would've been against her will. But at the same time, because I was with my father, I felt awesomely cool.

We got back to the house in one piece and Cloud mentioned something about the three of us cooking together something for dinner. The guy was trying, and it warmed me, so I agreed and stalked into Roxas' room.

It was time to deal with his drama, now wasn't the best time to tell him anything.

* * *

When Roxas had gone missing that one night I panicked, especially when Cloud asked when we'd be coming home. I told him the truth, for the most part; that we'd probably crash at Nam's place and that was that, we'd see him in the morning. What freaked me out was how my lovely twin didn't even bother answer his phone. I had left Nam's place early the next morning to get home just in case Roxas was there. And I ended up waiting a few hours afterwards.

When he showed up, looking guilty at the sight of me (which I took as a good sign), we went in through his window and he explained everything.

Knowing that he has spent the night with Axel wasn't as big of a deal as I had thought it would be. But, still, Axel was older and more experienced than my brother; I just didn't want my twin to get hurt. I didn't want to come back to Twilight Town only to pick up the broken fragments of my brothers heart and figure out how to super glue them back together. But, aside from telling him to be careful, there was nothing more that I could do about it. Roxas was his own person, as I was mine.

* * *

The second time Roxas went missing I wasn't all that worried about it, I went over to Nam's, as usual and chilled with her, Larxene, and Olette. It wasn't the usual party, it was just a small group of us and some others, relaxing and passing a bong. I didn't take a hit, I wanted to remain sober. The night went on until very early morning and ended with us all falling asleep on the floor, which, in retrospect, couldn't be very good for our backs.

I had left around one in the afternoon, thinking that Rox would be back at Cloud's by then. He wasn't, so I showered and relaxed on his bed, reading a book.

When Roxas finally stumbled through his window, his face was flushed and he was panting, out of breath. At one glance one could tell that his clothes were messily thrown on and he at a desperate look on his face.

I asked him "what's up?"

Roxas shrugged, trying to regain his breath and leaning hard against the wall. Something was wrong but Instead of asking him what was wrong, instead of asking and assuring him that things were going to be okay, the words "Kairi called, she's going to be coming by tomorrow. To take me home." Slipped out.

Then my twin fainted. I'm sure it was the lack of oxygen going to his brain, after checking him over, he seemed fine. I rearranged his position to be a bit more comfortable and waited for him to wake up.

Roxas, always the dramatic one out of the two of us, woke up not an hour later and gawked at me.

"You're....leaving?" He asked, as if not at all sure what else to say.

I sighed and closed the book that was on my lap, "yeah, I'm going back to the islands."

"How long have you been planning this without telling me?" Blue eyes the same color as my own glared heatedly at me, anger directed straight at me.

"Maybe if you weren't so busy wrapped up in your own bullshit drama you would've noticed!" I shot back from my spot on his bed, but I took in a few deep breaths and sagged back onto the bed, letting everything go. "I never said I was staying here Rox."

"Yeah, but..." he frowned and sat at the end of the bed, "I thought you were going to stay the whole summer."

"The summer's over in less than two weeks," I sighed, "I have to go back eventually. And...I miss Riku." The mention of Riku made my heart hurt, I _did _miss him. I had sorted myself out, for the most part, I had thought and decided that leaving Roxas would be the best choice for me. I love my brother, and we'll always be twins and we'll always be close, but I _need _Riku. Like a person needs air in order to survive.

The very thought of a life without Riku there in it every single day scares me so damn much.

Roxas just continued to frown at me, "I'm sorry that I've been so self absorbed Sora. I... you know it's not like that."

I cracked a smile, "I know Rox. So, what happened today that caused you to pass out upon arival?"

This time he sighed, "Olette walked in on me leaving Axel's place." He grimanced and I just stared at him with wide eyes.

"Are you fucking serious?" I asked, jaw dropping, "holy shit dude. What're you going to do?"

"I don't know," he whined, "what should I do?"

"You didn't even bother to stay and explain things did you?" I asked, a slight chuckle to my voice, the entire thing was just funny in a twisted way to me.

He focused a glare my way again, "no."

I let out a snort of laughter, "you're so stupid!"

Roxas just whined again, a pathetic whimper of a sound. It made me laugh harder.

* * *

I had hugged Squall and Cloud goodbye earlier that morning, getting up early enough to see them off to work. Cloud kissed my forhead and it left me feeling loved and warm. My father loved me. I promised him that I would visit for spring break, and bring Riku with me if we were still together when that time rolled around.

Kairi rang the doorbell around noon, that was how both Roxas and I knew it was her, everyone else in this town just knocked on the bedroom window. I was wearing the same outfit I had been wearing when I had first arrived, only this time with _The Nobodies_ band shirt over my normal one.

She had let her hair grow a bit since the last time I saw her a few months ago, and she had lost a little bit of weight, but she was the same auburn haired, violet blue eye colored, perky girl she always had been.

Kairi smiled at us, getting Roxas first in a tight squeeze of a hug, and then getting me as her next victim. "I've missed you guys so much, the island just isn't the same without you two." She said while letting me go, giving us both a once over.

"When does our plan leave?" I asked her, we had to take the train to Radiant Garden since that was where the closest airport was located.

"Two hours," Kairi grinned easily, and I almost winced at how it must've been for her, flying all this way for me only to fly right back afterwards. She must've had a fit when Riku told her this, because I know for a fact that it was Riku who sent her, or she volunteered to go in his seat. Knowing Riku he'd be too nervous to come on his own.

"Two hours, which means we should leave now...damn it Kai, why didn't you just have me meet you over in Radiant Garden?" I asked her, annoyed.

She smiled that lazy smile of hers, "because I've never ridden a traing before. And I wanted to see Roxas."

"He could've gone to Radiant Garden too," but I knew it was a losing battle with her, Kairi always got what she wanted, no matter what.

"I'll walk you guys to the station," Roxas offered peacefully, reverting back to the old Roxas from the island with Kairi right there. I liked the old Roxas, the new Twilight Town one worried me.

"That'd be great! We can catch up on the walk!" Kairi beamed, taking Roxas' hand within her own, she began to drag him out of the house via the front door when he stopped her.

"Um, you guys are gonna have to go through the front door, I don't have a key yet so I'll have to lock up from the inside and go out through my window." Roxas had the decency to look slightly embarassed by this fact.

Kairi stared with wide eyes, "I've never crawled through a window before. I want to do it too!" She looked excited, and ready for some sort of silly adventure. Like the types we had when we were kids. It was too bad that we were nearly adults now.

"Okay," Roxas shrugged, closing the front door behind Kairi and locking it, leading us through the house and towards his still barely furnished bedroom, and opened the window that everyone had used at least once during this summer.

I climbed through first, Kairi following behind me, and then Roxas.

We began to walk towards the train station.

* * *

Roxas looked down at his feet, our train had just arrived, he hugged Kairi goodbye and then turned to me, "call weekly?" He looked up into my eyes.

"Email daily?" I stared right back.

"Text regularly?" He looked like he was losing his best friend, and I know for a fact that was probably happening. I was going back to the island, our relationship will never be the same again as it was while growin up.

"If you need anything, contact me right away." I stated seriously.

We hugged, tighter than most guys should hug, but it didn't matter. This was my brother, my twin, my other half. "I love you Rox," I whispered.

"Love you too Sor," he whispered back, and I wonder vaguely if I sounded as sad as he did.

When we pulled apart we threw each other identical smiles, not saying anything else as I was dragged into the train while Roxas remained on the platform. I swallowed the lump in me throat as the train began to move.

"You guys can always visit each other," Kairi assured me, rubbing soothing circles on my back like one would do to a crying child.

"Yeah," I agreed, but I knew that things would never again be the same.

* * *

It was my first time on a plane, and it was exciting, I would love to be a pilot when I grow up. I said this to Kairi and she laughed, saying that we were growing up. At least she noticed. One especially grows up faster when they no longer have a mother.

We landed on the main island about an hour later and got off of the plan fairly quickly considering we had no luggage to claim. I followed Kairi, looking around the airport in awe, I had rarely been on the main islands airport since there was never a need for me to be here. The main island was for school and shopping, that was it.

Kairi chatted about Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka, she talked about the guy that she had liked last year and about how there had yet to be any tropical storms this summer. I half paid attention to her while searching the ocean of people for a head of silver hair.

Did he not come to see me? But, then again, why would he? Maybe he found someone who wasn't such a mess while I was away for those few months.

Someone grabbed my hand as Kairi and I were heading towards the exit of the airport. Warm, calloused, large, hands wrapped around my own. My heart skipped a beat as I turned around and came face to face with him.

"Riku," I breathed, getting lost in his vibrant green eyes. I wanted to lean forward and kiss him, right here where everyone could see us. I didn't give a damn what they all thought.

"Hey Sora," he smiled easily down at me, hand now linking our fingers together, "hey Kairi," he greeted the only female in the group.

"Hey Riku, did you drive over?" she asked, looking amused.

Riku tossed her his keys, "I'm in the parking garage, section C." His eyes were on me while telling her this.

Kairi smiled as she walked away leisurely, looking for all the world like nothing was going to rush her in life. And knowing her, nothing probably would.

I enjoyed the feeling of Riku's fingers entwined with my own, and his plam against mines. "Hey," I greeted him belatedly, and realized that I probably sounded like a complete idiot, but with Riku that was something that normally occured.

"How was your flight?" He asked, leading me the same direction Kairi had gone, only walking slower.

"It was pretty awesome," I answered honestly, "how was your summer?"

"Decent, I did a lot of community service hours for that scholarship that I applied for," Riku said airily, not really interesting in what was coming out of his mouth. "How about you? How was your summer?"

It felt as if we were both just avoiding the subject. Were we a couple? Was it okay for us to hold hands like this? Did we still love each other as much as we had before everything went to shit in my life?

"Interesting. I learned a lot about my family," I answered easily, "I also learned, that if left to his own devices, Roxas is a slut," I joked, grinning up at Riku.

He smiled back down at me and I forgot how to breathe. But my feet still kept walking, and my hand was still held firmly within his.

"So, how was—" I started.

"I love you," Riku blurted out, cutting off all further thought process on my part. We were in the parking garage and we had stopped walking. He gave me a look of pure worry and fear, but at the same time he wasn't going to take back what he said.

"I love _you_," I replied, looking up at him and semi-hating the fact that he was a good four inches taller than me.

But Riku's face bloomed into _that_ smile. The smile that always melted my heart. He leaned over, with our hands still linked, and gave me an eskimo kiss. Which caused me to laugh and place a soft kiss on his mouth, he kissed back, which caused warm tingles to spread throughout my entire body.

We pulled away after a few seconds and Kairi pulled up next to us, rolling down the passenger window, "come one you lazy bums, we better get going if we're going to catch the ferry back home."

"You're not driving us," Riku laughed, "get your ass to the back Kai."

She mock-pouted but did as she was told. Riku opened the passenger door for me, to which I dramatically rolled my eyes about, a happy grin on my face. He slid into the driver's seat and began heading towards the port with the ferry that would take us home.

Home.

Kairi chatted away and Riku gave his occasional input while still holding onto my hand as he drove.

This was where I belonged. As much as going to other places, places that seemed like other worlds, sounds like a fun adventure, these islands were where I would always belong. With Kairi, Tidus, Selphie, Wakka and Riku. Especially Riku. Maybe, one day far away, Roxas would come back here, or maybe not. My brother would always belong here, even if he doesn't see it.

Riku gave my hand a squeeze and looked over at me with those eyes filled with love, I smiled sweetly at him before looking out of the window.

* * *

**TBC**

* * *

**ECK**: Utter crap, Sora wasn't as easy to write this time. But I figured it's been **gasp** two months since I've last updated! YIKES! Sorry everyone! I've been busy: went on vacation, started working again, started a new semester at school, had a birthday come and go; life has been going onward, it's been amazing.

In this chapter I wanted to focus more on Sora's emotions than anything else. I know it feels all a bit rushed, but I didn't want to repeat what Roxas already talked about in previous chapters.

Please, please, PLEASE review! Flames, angry hate filled ones, are more than welcome.


	8. Chasing Cars

Title:** Collecting the Stars**

Genre: Romance/Drama

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I no own

Note: This fic is AU, has slight OOC, and contains Yaoi. You have been warned.

Summary: [AU. Yaoi] – It was hard, moving to Twilight Town with my father so soon after mom died. Life just became a whirlwind then, of sex, drugs, wild parties, and a red head that snuck in through my window every night.

Unbeta'd Beware Errors!!!

* * *

"Blah" means talking

"**Blah**" means phone conversations

_Blah_ means thoughts

* * *

**Chapter 8: Chasing Cars**

* * *

_We'll do it all  
Everything  
On our own_

_We don't need  
Anything  
Or anyone_

_If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me  
And just forget the world?_

* * *

I laid there on the floor of Naminé's porch. With Sora gone and my avoiding the Fair family, where I could hang out was pretty limited. Since it was summer it meant that there was nothing to do unless one chilled with friends. I was in a state of perpetual boredom, and it sucked so damn bad.

I missed Sora.

Naminé looked at me while she sketched. She was wearing exactly what she had been wearing the first day I had met her. Making her look brighter than the sun and very difficult for the eyes to handle. I think she does it on purpose.

"You're going to have to talk to them sometime," she suddenly stated.

"Are you sober?" I asked lazily, following dust particles with my eyes.

"Yes," I could hear her pencil being dragged across the paper.

"Wow," I replied for lack of anything else to say. It was still unbearably hot, but the air was beginning to taste cool despite the sticky humidity. Autumn was around the corner but summer was making itself known, refusing to go down without a fight.

"Summer's almost over," Nam stated from her perch on the top step. I remained silent where I was sprawled. "You can only avoid Olette for so long."

"I'll avoid the whole thing for as long as I can," I answered, "because I'm a coward."

"Fear is the heart of love," Nam replied casually.

I sat up and scooted close to her to see what she was working on. It was me, "you got that from a song."

"I'll be leaving for home in a week, so if you and Olette don't talk you'll be forced to see each other at my going away party. It's going to be the last party of the summer." Sketch, sketch, sketch, Naminé went silent and I refused to say anything.

We sat that way for what seemed like hours. Me staring out into the too green woods, her working on her latest piece. I wondered what she did what all of her art, what was her portfolio filled of? Why did she come to Twilight Town for the summer to work on it?

She stopped and looked at me, and I turned to look at her. We were sitting pretty close together.

Naminé leaned over and kissed me, her full, soft, mouth set firmly against my own. Her taste, her scent, both was perfectly feminine. I leaned into her and she leaned into me.

It was a kiss. A normal kiss, something that didn't have to be hidden or a secret. I wanted to have this with Axel.

* * *

Around midnight there was a knock on my window. I had finally managed to get to sleep early for the first time all summer only to have it interrupted.

Rubbing my eyes and frowning at the window. I turned on my bedside table's lamp and slowly raised the blinds.

Olette was on the other side; she gave me a grin and a small wave. I ran a hand through my hair to move it out of my face before opening the window for her, praying that she wasn't here to kill me.

"What're you—" I began.

"It was a shock," Olette cut me off, yanking on her hair a bit.

We stared at each other for a moment and then I moved aside to let her into the room, closing the window behind her and wondering if the neighbors noticed how all of teenagers used the window instead of the door. They're either used to it, or really paranoid about us breaking into their house too.

Olette took a moment to compose herself before beginning again, "I mean you date Naminé wasn't that bad because everyone knew that it wasn't serious and that it wouldn't last past the summer. But this," her voice cracked, her nose started to turn red and her eyes began to water, "Axel's my brother. And I liked you Roxas. I liked you so damn much."

She covered her eyes with her hands and she lowered her head so that she was facing the ground, but no matter how silent she was about it, it didn't stop her shoulders from shaking or the tears to fall on her shirt.

"I…I didn't know," I stuttered quietly, wanting to comfort her but not sure if she'd welcome it.

"I thought it was because you didn't want to ruin our friendship or something stupid," she sniffled, "but it was because you were too busy paying all your attention to Axel."

Had there been signs? She blushed an awful lot around me, but other than that I'm pretty sure she hid it well.

"I thought you liked Pence," I said pathetically, sitting down on my bed and just watching her cry. I felt like a jerk, a total bastard for making one of my friends cry. Olette was such a sweet girl, always with a sunny smile and a kind word. She laughed at my lame jokes and tried to see my side of things on everything. Aw man, she _did_ have a crush on me. I had thought it was just friendship while she probably thought it was more. I hadn't meant to lead her on.

Olette managed to laugh through her tears, "Pence?" She continued to giggle.

I patted the spot next to me, inviting her to sit as well, "well yeah, I remember Hayner mentioning something about it and you blushing about it."

She was rubbing her eyes, "no, I've never seen Pence that way before. I blushed because I was worried that he'd accuse me of liking you next, and I wouldn't have been good with pulling off that I didn't."

I nodded awkwardly, what did one say to a girl who had a crush on them when one was sexually involved with said girls' brother?

"I think I'm okay now," Olette said after a few minutes of silence.

"Do you want to…wash your face or anything?" I asked, looking her in the face for the first time that night since I let her in. She was one of those pretty criers, something that was extremely rare in the world.

She shook her head, moving some of her brown hair behind her ears, "no. About you and Axel, I'm okay with it. I'm just worried about people finding out. I mean, it's technically illegal. The consenting age here is seventeen, so if you guys get caught Axel can go to jail for statutory rape."

I nodded, "yeah." What else could I say? We knew that, we knew that fact pretty damn well.

Olette looked as if she wanted to reach for my hand to give it a reassuring squeeze, but then suddenly decided against it, "um, anyway, I should be going back home. No one knows that I'm here."

"I'll walk you," I said, leaving no room for debate as I threw on a pair of sandals, lifting up my sweats so that they weren't so loose, the baggy shirt I was wearing covered my underwear in case my pants fell.

We left my room in silence, sliding out of the window with perfect ease and walking onto the main road. I'd have to get back fast before Leon or Cloud noticed I was missing. Cloud had a habit to check up on me at night, just to make sure I was safe I guess. Mom used to do the same thing.

The walk to Olette's house was quiet, and even thought Twilight Town was always quiet at night, tonight it was just a bit unnerving.

Axel was waiting by the front door, a cigarette dangling from his mouth, his eyes narrowed once he spotted us. "Do you know how much shit you'd be in if it were one of the parentals that noticed you leaving?" he asked Olette.

His younger sister sighed, "Yes, I know." She rolled her eyes and smiled at me, "see you later Roxas."

"See you Olette," I nodded at her, watching as she stuck her tongue out at Axel and walked up the stairs to her home as quietly as possible.

"I like the hobo look you've got going on," Axel commented, taking a drag of his cigarette, narrowed eyes focusing on me.

I fidgeted under that gaze; it made me uncomfortable how he was scrutinizing me.

"Thanks, it's all the rage in France," I stated dully, and was pleased when Axel's lip quirked into an almost smile.

"You should get back home before Cloud notices you're gone," He said, squashing his half smoked cigarette.

I nodded; wanting to say something, or do something, but in the end just turned around and walked away.

* * *

I hadn't seen Axel in a week, Olette and I were cool and I've been hanging out with the usual gang while Cloud and Leon were off working and being the adults that they were.

Naminé had decided that instead of a party on her last night in Twilight Town, she had wanted to go to The Nobodies concert that was sold out but Demyx managed to get us tickets to it anyways.

The club where the band was performing (as the main act) was located in Radiant Garden. Despite the fact that it was only eight' o'clock and, since it was summer, the sun was barely setting; the club was dark and cool. Black lights made all the brighter colors people were wearing stand out.

Larxene managed to sneak us minor's fruity drinks before sitting down next to Marluxia in a booth, leaving the rest of us to our own devices.

"What's going on with you and my brother?" Olette asked, taking a seat next to me in the booth we had managed to snag while Hayner and Pence had headed down to the mosh-pit.

I shrugged, "you tell me. Your brother seems to have been avoiding me all week." I tried not to pout, but it was difficult.

"Maybe he thought that it was a one night thing?" Nam shrugged from my other side, a joint, which she had cleverly concealed to look like a cigarette, rested casually between her lips.

This time I did pout, "It was two nights."

"Have you guys even talked since the last time you two, uh, saw each other?" Olette asked, a fierce blush appearing on her face. She was taking everything pretty well, I guess she figured that there was no point dwelling on things and tried her best to move on. Maybe she had already moved on, it was just a crush.

"Last time I talked to him was when I walked you home, but we didn't really _talk_," I answered, drinking some of whatever the hell Larxene had bought for me.

"Maybe you guys got to talk?" Olette asked gently, suggesting but not really ordering that we do so.

"Probably," I half agreed. I hated talking. After mom died Sora and I were forced to see a grievance counselor to supposedly help us cope. All he wanted to do was talk. I hated it so much.

The band was setting up on the moderately sized stage that was placed at the far wall of the club. Demyx waved to us from his perch and hopped from the stage, making his way towards us.

"Dudes! What're we gonna do? Axel's not here yet and we go on in like ten minutes!" He yanked at his hair, obviously flipping out, "please tell me one of you guys can sing!"

"Can no one else in the band sing?" Naminé asked, puffing leisurely.

Demyx looked as if he were on the verge of tears, "the rest of us are only talented enough to sing chorus, and even then we don't sound all that great."

Maybe it was the weak booze, or maybe I had gotten a contact high from being near Naminé, but I stood up, "I'll stand in until Axel gets here if you want." I offered before I could stop myself.

Demyx stared at me with eyes full of hope, "can you sing?"

I only nodded, refusing to tell him that I was in chorus for all of middle school, it wasn't exactly the same kind of singing that he wanted, "I've been told that I'm not too bad."

"That's really brave of you," Olette stated, surprised.

Again I nodded, singing in front of a crowd wasn't new to me, I've done it before in the past. I just had to remind myself that the rest of the band was up there with me.

Demyx practically dragged me up to the stage once I got out of the booth. "Found a replacement!" he announced.

"I don't know any of the band's songs, sorry. You guys don't mind doing some cover songs, do you?" I asked them, fiddling with the hem of my shirt.

"That's not a problem," Luxord said smoothly, "it's how we started. What songs do you have in mind?"

"We should compile a list of a couple of songs, just in case Axel can't show up until later," Zexion agreed.

So we spent the next few minutes listing songs that I knew the lyrics to and they knew the tunes to.

"Okay, so we've got Jacks Lament from Nightmare, Basket Case by Green Day, Don't Stop Me Now by Queen, and Hey Jude by The Beatles." I read down the list, making sure that it was alright, if we ran out of the songs before Axel got there then we'd just have to improvise.

I tried to calm my nerves, I've heard Axel before. He sounded a bit like Freddie Mercury; it was the type of voice that no one could imitate. Me, on the other hand, I sounded kind of sound like the lead singer from Panic! At the Disco, Brendon Urie. There really was no comparison on who had more talent in the vocal department between Axel and me.

"We have to start now," Zexion stated quietly, "it's time for our show."

"You ready?" Demyx asked me, assuring smile on his face, as if that could take away my nerves.

I nodded, "as ready as I can be," and that was the truth.

I turned to the crowd; did they expect me to say something to them?

"Where's Axel?" A girl in the back yelled.

Luxord took my mic from me, "darlings, our dear lead singer is running a bit late, so we've got a suitable stand in until he shows up. Please, do try to show our substitute some love." His English accent was so smooth; it made me wonder why he didn't sing.

There was no need to introduce me; we all knew that after tonight I most likely wouldn't be needed again. The band began to play the intro to Jack's Lament and I waited for the right cue, happy that I knew when to start. I had Sora to thank for that, he and Riku used to be obsessed with the movie when we were kids.

"There are few who deny that what I do I am the best for my talents are renowned far and wide! When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night, I excel without ever even trying," I sang, wincing and how sharp it came out and hoping that it would smooth out as the song's progressed. I kept my eyes closed, partially so that the bright stage lights wouldn't blind me, and partially so that I could focus on how I should sing. They were doing their own rock version of the song, and they sounded really good, but after the first line I stopped bothering trying to keep up with them and just sang, hoping that it did the band justice.

We went through the song fast, flying through Basket Case and Don't Stop Me Now, I found myself singing the first few lyrics of Hey Jude pretty fast, and wondered where the hell Axel was.

The crowd hadn't booed me off of the stage yet, but since I hadn't really opened my eyes so for all I knew everyone could've left.

I was about to sing the second verse of Hey Jude when another voice joined me, I tried not to act surprised when Axel sauntered up to the stage, singing a duet with me. I opened my eyes though and looked out at the crowd, noticing how Axel was making his way from the far side entrance, wireless mic in hand. The crowd on the floor, which had actually grown since I had started, parted for him like the Red Sea did for Moses.

He gave a small smile while still singing, getting onto the stage with a feline grace and standing next to me as we sang the last of the song.

Once we were done the crowd went crazy, screaming and whistling, jumping up and down with this buzz of energy that I've never seen in such a large group of people.

Axel turned off the mic he was using, placing it on the floor before taking my mic, "thank you very much!" He grinned, waving at the crowd, "sorry for being so late everyone, I had to save the city from a giant evil t-rex," he winked at me, "give it up for our friend Roxas here, the kid got a pair, to be able to come up here and pull songs out of thin air like that. And didn't he sound great?" More wild screams.

I shook my head, a smile on my face, I turned to Saïx, who was the closest to me, "I'm gonna go sit back down now," I told him. I resisted the urge to puke.

He smirked at me and nodded, and I slipped off of the stage while Axel talked to the crowd, praising them, keeping their attention. I hadn't even bothered doing that, all I did was open my mouth and sing, which worked out well enough for me.

"That was amazing!" Olette gushed as I sat down, "you sounded so good!"

Hayner, who had at some point sat down in my spot, nodded, "yeah man, didn't know you had such good vocals."

Pence merely nodded in agreement while slurping his drink.

Naminé look another puff of her joint, "why do you think Axel was so late anyways? It's not like him to be so late to his own concert. He's too selfish for that."

"That's very true," Olette sat there thinking, "I'll find out." She gave me a look then, it was obvious that she'll find out about more than just the concert.

* * *

The band was having another after party at Zell's which I didn't really feel like going to, so I skipped out on it. Nam did as well, and we left the club together. The train ride from Radiant Garden back to Twilight Town was filled with empty silence between us, I had nothing to say and I think Nam was a little high.

When we exited the train she grabbed my hand, smiling up at me in such a way that I didn't have the heart to tell her to let go, so we held hands and walked together. Not even separating as we sat down together on the light night tram.

"I'm leaving tomorrow morning," she announced suddenly, fingers laced with my own.

"Will you come back next summer?" I asked her, tugging lightly at her hand. The tram was pretty empty, and from the mirrors across from where we sat I could see our reflections perfectly.

She shrugged, "I don't know."

We got off of the tram silently, and I walked her to her hole in the wall where we both stopped. "This is it then." I sighed, suddenly very tired.

Nam turned and looked up at me, standing on the balls of her feet and kissing me soundly, "it was a pleasure to meet you Roxas, take care of yourself."

"Likewise Naminé," we kissed once more. There were no romantic feelings involved with our kisses, they were comfort— warm, soft, safe, like a mother's hug. I knew deep down that this would probably be the last time I'd ever see Naminé.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of my window opening. _Didn't I lock it_? Axel came in, ass first like usual, and closed it quietly behind him. He caught me staring at him through the darkness of my bedroom, and then went over to the bedroom door to lock it.

"You went home with Naminé," his voice was accusing.

"I only took her home then came here, I was sleeping," I stated lamely, too tired to get annoyed.

The bed dipped under his weight and before I knew it he grabbed my head, giving me a crushing kiss. He kissed down my jaw, and neck, hands going up my baggy sleeping shirt.

"Axel," I breathed, unsure as to what I should do. He hadn't talked to me in over a week and now he was doing this? I didn't understand why were things with him so damn complicated? We weren't in a relationship, he had made this clear, and we were what we've always been. Only now we slept together.

His mouth worked one of my nipples and I gasped, my hands holding onto the sheets underneath me.

"Axel," I repeated, silently willing him to stop, I wanted...no, _needed_, to talk to him about whatever the hell was going on between us. As much as I hated talking, it needed to be done. He hadn't heard my plea, or misinterpreted it, because his mouth went lower.

His lips were around me, hot, wet, mouth sucking and licking in a way that was pure pleasurable torture. "Axel," I whimpered, hanging onto that name for dear life. His mouth and hands were everywhere; it was as if he were claiming me. I just arched, and sighed, into every little touch, whimpering and gasping pathetically at it all.

Everything got a little hazy around the edges and I forgot exactly what I wanted to say.

* * *

It was the early morning sunshine hitting my face that made me wake up that following morning, the blanket draped across my nude body. Wincing as I sat up, I mused my hair and yawned, noticing a packet of cigarettes on the floor, half hidden underneath my bed. That was the only clue that Axel was actually here the night before.

I blinked a few times, slowly getting out of bed on wobbly legs. My ass hurt and there were bruises and love bites along my torso and inner thighs.

"I need a shower," I said to no one in particular, "ick," upon seeing the soiled sheets. Looks like it was time to do the laundry.

I had just finished cleaning the entire house and putting my laundry away when there was a knock on my window. Through the blinds I could see Olette on the other side, she waved at me.

Opening up the window, I let her in, reminding myself to ask Cloud for a key.

Olette smiled at me and helped me put clean sheets onto my bed, we worked in silence for a while, my asking her if she wanted something to drink, trying to be a good host, and her declining politely were the only words exchanged between us. Until I handed her the packet of cigarettes that her older brother had left behind the night before.

Olette frowned, blinking a bit and looking at me, "Roxas, you like my brother a lot, right?" She asked in a gentle voice. It was the same tone that the principle at my old school used when she had called Sora and I into her office to let us know that mom had died.

"What's going on Olette?" I asked her, cutting through that bullshit.

She worried her bottom lip for a few second, letting it go when she decided to speak, "I think he's in a relationship with someone. Someone else."

"Oh," I stated numbly, sitting down on my bed and furrowing my eyebrows, "so...that makes me...the other woman?"

"Something like that." Olette sighed, wanting to comfort me but not sure how to, it made me want to laugh at how our roles were reversed from what they were a week ago, "I don't know details."

"Okay," I said, hands forming into fists around the packet of smokes. "I think it'll be a good idea if you left right now, before I go ape shit or something."

Olette nodded, but paused at the window, "this isn't the right time for it, but I don't know when is. Are you...you aren't going to turn Axel into the police or anything, are you?"

I stared at Olette, she was my friend sure, but she was also a sister worried about her brother. "No," I assured her. She looked a little relieved, and then climbed out of the window, closing it behind her. I locked it after her immediately, standing there facing it, staring at my neighbors house for what felt like hours.

"Fuck."

I threw the cigarettes away.

* * *

TBC

* * *

**ECK**: First off, I didn't want to compare his singing voice to Jesse McCartney because I don't think his vocals would sound good for rock songs. Secondly, hurray for an update! This chapter was fun to right ha-ha, I luff it. Also, notice how Roxas didn't go running to Sora. Yes, my baby's growing up.

Please review. Flames always welcome!


	9. Don't Let Me Fall

Title:** Collecting the Stars**

Genre: Romance/Drama

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I no own

Note: This fic is AU, has slight OOC, and contains Yaoi. You have been warned.

Summary: [AU. Yaoi] – It was hard, moving to Twilight Town with my father so soon after mom died. Life just became a whirlwind then, of sex, drugs, wild parties, and a red head that snuck in through my window every night.

Shout Out: CONGRATS REECHAN37 FOR GETTING INTO THE SCHOOL OF YOUR DREAMS

WARNING: Unbeta'd Beware Errors!!!!

* * *

"Blah" means talking

"**Blah**" means phone conversations

_Blah_ means thoughts

* * *

**Chapter 9: Don't Let Me Fall**

* * *

_Underneath the moon, underneath the stars  
Here's a little heart for you  
Up above the world, up above it all  
Here's a hand to hold on to_

_But if I should break, if I should fall away  
What am I to do?  
I need someone to take a little of the weight  
Or I'll fall through_

* * *

I was the "other woman" to put it simply, the thought made me sick. I was physically ill for two days before I decided to get over it, during this time I had kept my window locked and the blinds closed. I even bought a curtain thick enough to keep the sunlight out, and keep anyone from looking inside.

People, i.e.: Hayner, Pence, and Olette, began to use the front door. Axel hadn't shown his face, it almost made me feel disappointed. But I shouldn't have been all that surprised, it wasn't as if we were exclusive, and we weren't in a relationship, didn't make it hurt any less than it did though.

Instead of dwelling on it, I had decided to focus on what was important and coming up: the new school year. I was going to be a junior this year, the "most important" year supposedly in all of high school since it was the one that colleges went by with test scores and whatnot.

Another thing to look forward to: back to school shopping. Unlike the islands, the high school didn't have school uniforms. The kids from Twilight Town went to Hollow Bastion High School in Hollow Bastion; it was located right outside of Radiant Garden's city limits, which was a twenty minute train ride from town. Cloud had mentioned it over dinner the night before, saying that this weekend we were to go shopping. He was going t borrow Leon's car since, the one he had used to pick me up at the airport with, since his motorcycle didn't really have the storage for bags of clothes and stuff. I was kind of excited to be able to spend some actual time with Cloud for once, since he was always so busy working. It took my mind off of certain red heads.

* * *

"How about this shirt?" Cloud asked, pulling out a red graphic-t. It had a dinosaur on it.

I smiled, "add it to the cart." We had been shopping for a good hour now, and have yet to leave the one department store to explore the rest of the mall, I felt like a girl.

We went throughout the entire men's section and only came out with three shirt, two jeans, a pack of boxer-briefs and a pair of sneakers for me, and a few shirts for Cloud.

"I think that should be good, I mean, I have clothes," I stated, ready to leave the store and the mall in general even though we hadn't even been to most of it.

"We still need to get you a backpack and school supplies," Cloud stated, looking through a list that the school had sent us not two days ago. My class schedule was included as well; needless to say my friends and I compared to see if we had any together. Half my classes were with Olette, and two classes with both Pence and Hayner.

I groaned, "No more shopping, please," it's not that I hated shopping, but, well okay, I did hate shopping. Especially for long periods at a time. School shopping with mom had been hell, that's why, after a while, I just let her buy whatever the she wanted me to wear and pretend to be grateful about it later. Most of the time Sora and ended up swapping clothes, my twin had a similar dislike for shopping as well. Sora's idea of dressing up was actually spending more than ten minutes to groom himself.

Cloud chuckled, I think my misery amused him, and if that were the case then he was a sick, sick, man.

"Alright, how about we pay for all of this and then get some food?" He asked, and I couldn't help but nod in agreement. We were in Radian Garden, where, since it was located at the foot of the mountains, it was already starting to get cool despite not even being September yet.

"Food sounds awesome," I said, happy to be leaving the store.

Cloud was an okay guy, he looked like an older version of me, and it reassures me that I'll age well.

* * *

The first day of school was like it was every year, I was new but I had friends already so it made the transition easier I suppose. Easier in a sense that I wasn't the only new kid, it would've been harder had I suddenly transferred halfway through the school year, but now I'm just rambling.

Hollow Bastion High School was like every other high school I could think of. The brick two-story building was large, the student and faculty parking lots in the back.

Olette smiled widely as we approached the steps of the school, "it feels like coming back home." She sighed happily.

"Yeah, if your home's a prison," Hayner muttered. We were all dressed in our new clothes; jeans still a little stiff and sneakers not broken in yet. I've noticed that everyone wears their best during that first week or school.

My schedule had been mailed to me about a week ago, along with my locker number and combination. I took in a deep breath and followed my three friends into the high school; this is where I was going to spend most of my life for the next two years.

* * *

First period was boring; school had that reliable monotony that made me feel safe and comfortable.

I sat next to a girl named Xion. She was pretty; short black hair, bright blue eyes, and a very nice smile. We joked about literature and talked about the worries of the world. First period was over sooner than either of us liked.

It was later, after second period was over, that I realized that when I was with Xion I forgot all about Axel.

* * *

The weekend came quick, Saturday saw me at the mall with Pence and Olette, Hayner was at home helping Demyx pack since he was moving out soon.

"I can't believe that Dem is moving," Pence sighed while looking at a pair of Jordan's. He didn't actually want the shoes since he had gotten a new pair for school but it gave him a second to compose his thoughts. Pence glanced over at Olette, "is Axel going to move too?"

At the mention of his name my heart thumped painfully. Olette seemed hesitant to answer and it made my stomach sink. I hadn't seen or heard from Axel since the last night we spent together a fortnight ago.

"Well, The Nobodies got signed…so he'll have to move closer to where Castle Oblivion Records is located." She explained; picking up a Converse and setting it back down.

"They got signed!?" Pence's eyes were large, surprise clear on his face, "that's awesome!"

Olette gave a tight lipped smile and nodded, "yeah."

I stayed quiet; Axel hadn't bothered to explain anything to me. But, I hadn't confronted him about it either, never even bothered to ask. We were just fuck buddies, I had always known that, but I knew that I had always wanted more. 'We are what we always were,' my own words bit me in the ass.

That's when it hit me hard, the reason why all of this drama with Axel affected me so.

I was in love with him.

Olette and Pence kept talking about something or other. And I sat there in a stupor. It's awful really, I fell in love so quickly, but I knew it was going to take a lifetime to get over it.

"Hey guys!" a girl greeted from behind us. The three of us all turned at the same time. Xion grinned at us as she approached.

Olette grinned back at her, "Xion, how are you? You're here alone?"

"Yeah, my sister ditched me," Xion shrugged, moving a piece of her short hair out of her face. She really was very pretty, and I could see myself beginning to like her as something more than a friend. Not like Naminé, no one could ever replace her, but as something almost as special.

"Wanna hang out with us?" Pence asked.

"I'd love to!" Xion nodded happily, smiling at me the entire time. I had yet to really say a word about anything.

As the four of us headed towards the movie theater I couldn't shrug off the feeling that this was a set-up double date.

* * *

It was a month later, at homecoming (which I was forced to attend) that Xion kissed me.

She was blushing as she pulled away, "I really like you Roxas."

My heart ached and my head spun, but I offered her a weak smile, "I like you too." And I did, just not in the way that she wanted me to. Axel had left Twilight Town and I haven't heard from him since before summer was over, there was no point in my pinning, I had to move on with my life. Love wasn't just something one forgot, it wasn't something that one could just turn off when they got tired of it, and I was learning that the hard way.

"Wanna be my girlfriend?" I asked, staring her straight in the eye. It was déjà vu, until I realized that I used the exact same words to ask Naminé out way back in June. Was it only five months ago? Time felt longer.

Xion beamed at me, "yes!" She then kissed me again. She probably felt some spark, or at least told herself that she did. I felt nothing.

I didn't want to use Xion like this, she was a nice girl; sweet and pretty and smart. The best thing about her was that she helped me forget about a certain redhead. Whenever she was around Axel was far from my mind.

* * *

Winter Holiday came with snow. It was my first time seeing the cold, white, powder that blanketed nearly everything. It was amazing, and I couldn't help but wish that I could share the experience with the person that I loved. I felt pathetic, always thinking about him, never wanting to say his name out loud. I had Xion now, and even though she was only a temporary distraction, she was still my girlfriend and current love interest.

We had been together for two months now, and she was ready to do more than just kissing. I, however, was not.

During the holidays both Hayner and Olette were bummed out by the fact that their brothers couldn't make it home. Sora and Riku showed up though, it was a little awkward. Cloud expected Riku to sleep upstairs while Sora and I shared my room, he didn't want to two to sleep together in the same bed. Not in his house.

"I don't want to think about any of you kids doing anything like that until marriage. Or at least until college," Cloud had explained, making the rest of us burst into laughter. Even Leon, serious guy that he was, snickered at Cloud's expense.

Riku spent most of the holiday's at our house before taking the train to Radiant Garden to spend time with his father and brother. Right when he left was when everyone was able to hang out, and they had yet to meet him. Olette began to tease Sora about having an imaginary boyfriend. Once everything was settled down though, the house was very quiet, leaving Sora and I alone to our own devices.

"So, where's this girlfriend you've told me so much about?" my twin asked, sprawled out spread-eagle on my bed and hogging the blankets. I merely stared at him from my spot at my desk. I had been working on an English paper that was due once break was over.

"Do you actually want to meet her?" I asked curiously. Sora sat up, his hair even messier than usual, and he gave me a grin that I had seen only too many times before. It meant trouble.

"Of course I do, why else would I ask?" He got out of bed and made his way over to my closet. Pulling out some jackets and boots to help with the cold, I just rolled my eyes and followed his lead.

"She lives in Hollow Bastion," I told him easily, taking the house key that Cloud had given me a copy of once school started. A house key was helpful seeing as it was near impossible to climb in and out of a window in winter gear.

We took the train to Hollow Bastion; it was a ride that I had now gotten used to by now but Sora was still new to everything and treated it all like a novelty. He stared out of the windows and held onto the seats for dear life. While on the train I texted Xion, asking her if it was okay for me to stop by and that my brother wanted to meet her.

"So, have you heard from Nam?" Sora asked casually as we exited the train.

I shook my head; it didn't surprise me that I hadn't heard from her, "negative. Have you?"

"Nope," he sighed.

"Nam's the type of girl who'll get famous quick and die of an overdose young," I stated, shoving my hands in my pockets to keep them warm.

"That's horrible," Sora chastised me, but nodded in agreement. My first girlfriend was something else.

Xion lived in a small house on the outskirts of town, so we had to take a bus to get there. She had been waiting for us, because as soon as we ascended the stairs of the porch the front door opened.

"Hey," she smiled, she always seemed so cheerful and happy, and it always lightened my mood.

"Hey," I smiled back and we kissed each other on the cheek in greeting. "This is my brother, Sora. Sora, this is my girlfriend, Xion."

"It's so good to finally meet you," Xion greeted, giving Sora a hug.

My brother hugged back, "likewise, I've heard a lot about you."

"All good things I hope," she winked as she pulled away from him. Xion moved so that she was facing the both of us, "come on in, enjoy some cocoa and stay a while."

I felt a surge of pride ripple through me, this girl new exactly how to act when it came to meeting the family. At that moment I wished more than anything that I would fall in love with her, she seemed like my perfect match.

We stayed at Xion's place for about three hours before heading back home.

"What'd you think of her?" I asked, "Be honest." Sora's opinion really mattered to me.

Sora shrugged, kicking at the snow, "she's nice. She's different from your past beau's."

And she was. Xion wasn't dramatic; she didn't have a problem with drugs or commitment. She wasn't all-knowing, and she had normal colored hair. She didn't always know exactly what to say and her eyes weren't green. She didn't captivate me the same way as the others had. I wasn't morbidly fascinated by her.

"She is different, she's not dramatic." I agreed.

Sora shook his head, "that's not what I meant Rox."

"Explain."

My brother sighed, "I can't really explain it all that well. But, Xion will make the perfect wife for some lucky guy some day. But she doesn't seem right for you. It's like you're trying so hard to forget Axel that you're forcing yourself to become this other guy. This family type guy, and that's just not you Rox." He looked over at me, identical blue eyes to my own, "you're in love with Axel, anyone who was around during the summer can see it. It's understandable that you want to get over it, but don't force it to go away because that'll only make things worse."

"Anyone who was around during summer can see it?" I asked, slightly panicked.

"No, but I can. And I'm sure Olette and Riku can too." Sora bumped his shoulder against mine, "don't worry too much about it Rox. You'll get over it eventually."

This time I sighed, "I hope so."

* * *

Spring Break came fast and Hayner had gotten a car.

"What're your plans for this Spring Break?" he asked while waxing his car lovingly.

I drank my milkshake and shrugged, "I was thinking of going back to Destiny Island for a few days. Stay with Sora and Riku and just enjoy the beach."

"How far of a drive is it?" Hayner asked with an excited glint in his eyes.

"Between eight to ten hours, depending on how fast you're going," I answered cautiously. I didn't like the look he was giving me.

Hayner grinned, "We're going."

"What?" milkshake forgotten.

"We're going to Destiny Island with you. We: me, Pence, Olette, and Xion if you want." He just continued to grin.

I shook my head, "I'll have to ask Sora first, since I was going to crash as his place."

"Call him and let me know, I'll tell the others." Hayner seemed dead set on it.

I frowned and took out my cell. I never talked about Destiny Island with my friends, not even when they asked about it.

"**Aloha bro-ha**," Sora answered, I could hear the smile on his face, "**it's an honor to hear from you good sir.**"

"Are you high?" I asked bluntly.

"**Only on life!**" Sora answered with a laugh, "**what's up dude?**"

"You know how I was going to go back home for Spring Break?" I asked, fiddling with the ring on my pointer finger.

"**How can I forget?**" Sora replied. I could imagine him lounging on his couch, eating chips and watching TV while on the phone with me. He sounded like he was in a lazy mood.

"Would it be okay if everyone else comes too? You know, Hayner, Pence, Olette, and Xion. I told them I was going and now they want to come with." I said, slightly hopping for rejection.

"**Oh, let me ask the love of my life first,**" Sora said, "**hang on a sec.**" He placed the phone down but I could still hear him yell "**RIKUUUU!**" across their condo. Their voices got low, they were discussing this and I waited patiently. Hayner came up to me with a questioning look on his face.

"They're deciding," I said to him. He nodded and went back to his car.

"I called everyone already, they're all up for it, the only thing is that Xion has to lie to her mom and tell her that she's going with only Olette. That aside— it's all good man." He grinned happily, and then I felt horrible for hoping that his dreams of Destiny Island would be crushed.

"**Alrighty, the tribe has spoken!**" Sora's voice filled my ear again, a slight laugh to his tone, "**and we say yes to having you and all of your friends here.**"

"Okay, thanks Sora," I sighed with a mixture of relief and disappointment.

"**No problemo Rox. I love you; see you in a few days.**" He chirped happily.

I smiled, "love you too Sor. Bye." We both hung up.

Hayner looked at me expectantly, "well?"

The smile that had formed on my face only widened, "he said yes."

Hayner threw his hands up in the air, "awesome!"

* * *

Cloud was home early by the time I had gotten back. He was in the kitchen drinking coffee and trying to figure out what to make for dinner.

"I opt for sandwiches," I told him, passing him in favor for the fridge.

He nodded, "that's actually a good idea." He turned to face me, back leaning against the kitchen sink. "How was your day?"

"Good I guess," I answered, popping open a soda, "Hayner convinced Sora to let him and everybody else come with me when I go visit. So we're going to drive, I already returned my bus ticket."

Cloud arched an eyebrow, and I copied him pose for pose without meaning to, "and their parents are all okay with this?"

I shrugged, "they all said yes so I'm guessing they are. Besides, everyone is seventeen."

"Except you, you're still sixteen," Cloud pointed out, frown marring his face, "I'll allow you to go because I know it's to visit Sora. But I'll be honest when I say that I don't like the fact that you'll be alone with Xion for a few days like that. Unsupervised. It's not that I don't want you to enjoy life and its experiences. I just don't want you to knock her up."

To my surprise I grinned at him, "relax, we may be going out and stuff, but I'm sure as hell not ready for that step. Besides, we can just as easily do it while our parents are at work."

"You're making me rethink a lot of things when you say that Roxas," Cloud smirked.

I laughed, "Jeez Dad, you need to relax."

It wasn't until hours later that I realized that I had called him Dad.

* * *

We were all awake by five thirty in the morning two days later, saying goodbye to our parents and packing up Hayner's car with our bags.

"Be safe you guys," Aeris said, kissing all of us on the cheek. "I packed some lunch," she handed Olette a small cooler. "Be good you guys."

We headed off, me riding shot gun next to Hayner, Pence's phone acting as a GPS. Three hours later found us refilling up the car and me and Hayner switching places on driving, since I knew where I was going for the most part and Hayner was tired from getting up so early. At nine Pence complained about hunger pains and Olette passed around the sandwiches that Aeris had made for us as breakfast, along with some juice boxes.

The radio was on low and Hayner was still out like a light, I drank my juice box while driving way past the speed limit. Olette and Xion were talking quietly in the back over a magazine and Pence was reading a book.

At one it was time to refill the gas and wake Hayner up so that we could switch since my leg was hurting. We had lunch and then continued on our way, arriving to the mainland at two-thirty in the afternoon.

"This is part of Destiny?" Olette asked, eyeing the palm trees that surrounded the road.

I shook my head, "no, we still have to take the ferry to get there." I told Hayner how to get to the docks and paid the fair to take the car over to the island. Once on the ferry we all got out of the car and stretched our legs, the sea air hitting our faces.

"This is nice; did you have to take the ferry a lot when you lived in Destiny?" Hayner asked, stretching his back.

"Yeah, there's no school on the island so we had to come to the mainland for that." I took a deep breath of the salty air. It had been almost a year since I've bothered coming back, a year since mom died.

"This feels nice," Xion said in a low voice, eyes closed as the warm breeze hit us from the side.

"We should be getting back to the car soon, we'll be docking in five minutes," I murmured, enjoying the ocean much more than I'd thought I would.

We ambled our way back to the car; I took the driver's seat since it was just easier than trying to explain all the little roads on the island. We put the windows down and drove at a nice pace, the others all looking out at everything they could see.

The roads were cobble stoned and there were palm trees in almost every direction, fallen coconuts at their bases. The shops on Main Street looked chic and modern; people were milling about, walking around or lounging. Everyone in Destiny knew each other, so it was no surprise that people were staring at us as we drove by.

We passed the small record store just as three teenagers walked out.

"ROXAS!" a girl's voice shrilled loudly in surprise, which caused me to stop the car and reverse.

Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka were staring at me. Until Selphie squealed and tried to hug me through the window, as usual she broke the silence.

"Oh my gosh!" she gushed, planting a big, wet, kiss on my cheek, "Sora didn't tell us you were coming!"

"It was supposed to be a surprise?" I guessed lamely.

"Does Kairi know? If she knows and she didn't tell me then I'll be very mad!" Selphie pouted, pulling away from me.

I shrugged, "probably not?"

Tidus and Wakka looked like they wanted to hug me too, but were too manly to do it in public.

"Ya were goin' to Riku's?" Wakka asked; his accent as thick as ever.

"Yeah," I nodded, "we'll be staying there for the next few days."

"Alright! We'll make sure to stop by! And then we can be properly introduced to your friends," Tidus smiled at the others charmingly.

I grinned, "Yeah, we'll see you guys later then?"

"No doubt," Tidus nodded.

"See you later man," Wakka grinned.

"We'll so go over to visit you tonight!" Selphie bounced.

I waved to them and drove off once again.

"I'm guessing those were your friends?" Pence asked from behind me, voice holding an amused tone.

I chuckled, "yeah, Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie. I've known them my entire life."

* * *

Riku lived in a nice condo; it had a stoop with a porch in the front. It was two floored with two bedrooms and two bathrooms. The master bedroom and bath were upstairs while the guest room and bath were downstairs with the half kitchen and small living room/dining room combo.

"So we'll finally get to meet the ever mysterious Riku, eh?" Hayner asked, lifting open the trunk so that we could all take our bags out.

"If there is a Riku," Olette laughed, but it came out as a yawn at the end. Despite napping along the way I was tired too.

"There is a Riku," I sighed, leading the way up to the red front door.

Pence laughed, "Once I meet him I'll believe it."

I rolled my eyes and rang the doorbell three times in a row. A moment later a shirtless Riku answered the door; there was a tank top in his hand.

"Hey Roxas and company," He greeted with his usual smirk.

"For the love of God, Riku put your damn shirt on," I glared, turning my face away from him and looking at my friends. They were all blushing. I understood where they were coming from; Riku was too good looking to be real. A beautiful face and a body that would've made the Greek Gods jealous, on top of that he was smart. Riku was the whole package, and he belonged to Sora.

"Only for you Rox," Riku answered smoothly and put his shirt on, "come on in, we just finished cleaning up the place and making it pretty for you. Sora's in the shower." He wagged his eyebrows at me. "And that's where I was too until a few seconds ago." He said it only loud enough for me to hear.

"Dude, I don't want to hear that," I groaned.

Riku laughed, "You guys can put your stuff in the guest room. It has a two beds and a futon for the floor so three people can share this room. The couch folds out, so two people can share it. But we'll discuss sleeping arrangements and stuff when the time comes."

Once we put our bags away we went into the kitchen were Riku was waiting with cans of Paopu Juice, "who's thirsty and or hungry?"

I sighed, "Guys, this is Riku." I gestured over to him and he waved. "Riku, this is Hayner," the two shook hands, "Pence," they took hands too. "Olette" Riku gave her a kiss on the cheek, "And Xion," he repeated what he had done to Olette.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all. I've heard stories and such from Sora, but since we've never met I was beginning to think that Roxas made you all up," he smirked at me knowingly.

"Shut up," I glared.

A moment later we could hear Sora's footsteps as he rushed down the stairs, "hey guys!" He greeted, practically a bouncing ball of energy. "I'm guessing you've met Riku? Yeah, I told you he was real!"

This statement caused both Pence and Olette to burst out into peals of laughter.

* * *

There was a bonfire party on the Small Island, also known as the Play Island, to celebrate my return home as well as meeting new friends.

Kairi leaned against me as we roasted marshmallows, there was an old radio playing the latest songs, the D.J talking every once in a while and a commercial playing once every twenty minutes.

"You're girlfriend seems nice," she stated, voice kept low. Xion was talking to Tidus and Wakka about American Football; they seemed to be charmed by her.

"She is nice," I said sharply, Kairi was a lot like Naminé, she just _knew_.

I paid attention to the radio; Sora had raised the volume so he could listen to it better. Suddenly a voice pours through the speakers, vocals that I knew pretty well.

Axels' was singing about a kid he used to know with blue eyes and wondering about lost love and suicide. I stared at the radio; everyone had gone silent to listen to him and the rest of the band. Demyx had a guitar solo halfway through and suddenly the song was more punk rock then it was ballad. When the song was over the D.J came back on, "that was a new band on the scene called The Nobodies with their debut single Roxy."

Olette began to squeal, taking Sora's arm and jumping up and down with him. Pence and Hayner began to talk excitedly at once and I stared at the radio, feeling sick to my stomach.

The Nobodies were making it big. And the man whom I had tried so hard to forget was suddenly shoved into my face.

"Are you okay?" Kairi asked me, a worried expression on her face.

"No," I whispered, allowing my marshmallow fall into the fire.

_Damn it_.

The song was called Roxy; it was about a blue eyed kid, lost love, and suicide. I was going to be sick. I pushed away from the fire, and made my way towards the small fresh water pond, wanting to splash some water onto my face.

A soothing hand rubbed small circles on my back; I had half expected it to be Sora and was unpleasantly surprised to see Xion.

"You alright Rox?" She asked.

She was here, making sure I was okay and Axel was God knows where singing to anyone who would listen about me. Everything felt so damn wrong.

* * *

TBC

* * *

**ECK**: See how different life without Axel is? I miss Nam XD. I leave this chapter there, wrote the entire thing at work, hehe I'm naughty. This was just about 13 pages of pure fun, only one more chapter left and then it's all over so please review. Flames are welcome.


	10. The Show Must Go On

Title:** Collecting the Stars**

Genre: Romance/Drama

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I no own

Note: This fic is AU, has slight OOC, and contains Yaoi. You have been warned.

Summary: [AU. Yaoi] – It was hard, moving to Twilight Town with my father so soon after mom died. Life just became a whirlwind then, of sex, drugs, wild parties, and a red head that snuck in through my window every night.

WARNING: Unbeta'd Beware Errors!!!!

* * *

"Blah" means talking

"**Blah**" means phone conversations

_Blah_ means thoughts

* * *

**Chapter 10: The Show Must Go On**

(AXEL'S POV)

* * *

_Empty spaces - what are we living for?  
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score...  
On and on!  
Does anybody know what we are looking for?_

_Another hero - another mindless crime.  
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime.  
Hold the line!  
Does anybody want to take it anymore?_

_The Show must go on!  
The Show must go on!  
Inside my heart is breaking,  
My make-up may be flaking,  
But my smile, still, stays on!_

* * *

Living on a tour bus sucked major, hairy, balls. I hated no having privacy, hated having to sleep on these cot-like coffins that they try to pass as beds, the curtains sounding them did _not_ substitute for walls. I could still hear everything that was going on, no matter how quiet people were trying to be.

Looks like it was gonna be another sleepless night for me. Joy.

With a sigh I took out my cell from beneath my pillow, the time zone on my phone was still the same as it was back home. It was late over there, just after midnight, everyone would probably be sleeping and getting the rest they needed for the next day. I missed those days, the normal jobs and the ability to do whatever the hell you wanted whenever and no one gave too much of a damn.

"No you asshole! It's West!" I heard Xigbar, our manager, snap at the bus driver. I hoped that the bus driver didn't get too upset about that and develop the sudden urge to drive us into a ditch or something.

With a tired sigh, I put my headphones on and listened to some Queen. Loads of people have told me that I sounded a lot like Freddie Mercury, but honestly I'd always thought they were all full of crap because no one could ever sound even close to him. It's pretty obvious who I hero worshiped as a kid, besides my dad of course.

Taking out my cell again I began to look through my numbers, flipping idly, pretending to not know what I was looking for. But I knew, and I wasn't sure why I was torturing myself like this.

Over the year that I've been gone from home a lot of shit has happened. It was as if over night The Nobodies became famous, no lie, and it was a lot to take in. I didn't mean to just leave Twilight Town like that; I missed my dad, mom, sister, and friends. Home felt so far away now, and I doubted that there was any way to get it back.

I stopped my number search in the R's.

Rikku.

Why did I still have her number?

She was an ex-girlfriend who visited me a few days before The Nobodies were meant to meet up with Xigbar so that we could conjure up a contract. She came into the flower shop, chatted up with Olette and made it sound like we were a couple again. When in actuality we hadn't spoken since she dumped me. So she came into the shop, talked to my little sister, which had pissed me off beyond belief, and then threw herself on me when I walked downstairs to see what was up. Of course, I never blew up in front of Olette, ever. I took Rikku outside and we talked, to put it nicely, apparently her boyfriend Gippal and she had broken up because 'he was such a jerk' and she wanted to know if I would give her another chance.

Let's just say it was an ugly conversation.

Olette was glaring at me when I went back into the shop. I arched an eyebrow at her; she shook her head, obviously angry with me for whatever reason. I just shrugged it off and went on with my life. My sister was always pissed off at me for one thing or another.

That night was our final concert at an Indie band, Xigbar was in the audience, making sure that we were what he had wanted us to be. Unfortunately I was late, so damn late, because Rikku, bitch that she was, showed up again. More words were exchanged and I had to catch the late, congested, train to Radiant Garden.

When I had gotten there it was fifteen minutes passed opening curtain. I cursed to whatever deity was listening to me, and snuck in through the side entrance, not even bothering with hair or makeup shit. To my surprise Roxas was there, singing his heart out and sounding _good_. I mean really damn good. When he started singing Hey Jude I asked Nanaki for an extra mic and took my cue after the first few lines.

Roxas.

He's, God, what isn't he? Jailbait was the perfect word for him back then. The legal age in Twilight was 17 to 21, that was fine, any older than that or younger than that was grossly illegal. I had taken a liking to him when he had given me that mini-heart attack the first time we met. He was different, and had spunk, which I liked. But as the weeks went on I began to notice that I liked him a little too much, and that was dangerous. I threw him to Naminé and ran, but then it hurt to see him with the blonde girl, and I liked Nam just fine before Roxas started dating her. She always just gave me a knowing smile, because the girl's fucking mental.

The kid threw himself at me not two weeks after he and Nam broke it off, and as much as I denied him, and said no to him, my resolve broke. The foundation of my sanity crumbled around me and left me reaching out for some sort of salvation from the madness of drowning in Roxas. I had it bad.

I never got say goodbye to anyone aside from my family, I wondered if Roxas was mad, upset, or hurt about that. With a snort I shifted in my cot like coffin, was I an arrogant bastard or what? It's been over a year, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a girlfriend or boyfriend (if he was out of the closet. Knowing him he wasn't.) But, then again, I doubted Roxas was totally bent, probably just a little bent. Maybe he had just been curious; maybe I was his precollege experiment. It was a different matter for me; I generally gave a damn about the kid, so much so that it was creepy. I had a picture that Nam had drawn of him inside my pillow case.

See what I mean?

A few weeks ago I had written a song called Roxy, and had gotten teased by my band mates relentlessly, even by Saïx and Zexion. It didn't matter to me; I had to let it all out. The idea for the song came from when Demyx told me that he had heard from Hayner, who heard from Pence, who heard from Roxas, who was heard from Olette, that I had a secret girlfriend. I knew my sister was probably talking about the incident with Rikku, and sometimes Olette tended to jump the gun, I didn't even bother to get mad about it.

I wrote a song about it instead. It became a number one hit over the summer and brought the band to the peak of popularity faster than the speed of light. Now Xigbar expected songs that hit number one all the time from me. It was draining, writing lyrics about a lost love, it was personal, but people ate it up.

Frowning, I clicked on Roxas' name. It was November and probably cold back home, he was in his senior year of high school now. It's almost been over a year since I've spoken to him, and I just wanted to speak with him so bad. I wanted to see him, big blue eyes and messy blond hair; to touch his skin and kiss his mouth. I really did have it bad.

A snore from above my bed told me that Demyx was out for the night. The entire bus was silent, with the exception of the radio that was on low in the front to keep the driver up.

MGMT was pouring through my head phones now, singing about stardom and missing of home. I could relate to this song perfectly.

Clicking on Roxas' name I sent him a quick text.

**I miss you.**

I held my breath once it was sent, having no idea if he was going to reply. He was probably asleep, everyone back home most likely was. Well, maybe not Dad, but he was an insomniac on most nights, like me.

I waited ten minutes for a reply, when none came I tried not to let it get to me. The sharp jab of pain in my heart had nothing to do with disappointment or anything like that.

Luxord began to talk in his sleep about cards. I turned my phone off and took my headphones off, rolling them all together in a jumbled mess of wires that I'd most likely regret later, and stuffed all of it underneath my pillow.

"Good night Rox," I whispered into the pillow, feeling a bit light hearted than before, sleep finally claiming me.

I couldn't wait until May, we were to be going back home, we were going to perform in Radiant Garden at Nanaki's club like old times. Maybe we'd be able to chill at Zell's afterwards, and see our families. Maybe I'd be able to see Roxas and tell him everything; he'll be 18 by then. Maybe he'll understand.

My phone was off, we'll see if he texted me back tomorrow. I hope that he does. But if not, well, I'd understand. I can only hope that one day he'll forgive me for the mess of a friendship (relationship?) that we had. I made a lot of mistakes, but I hope he can look passed that, I'm only human.

* * *

TBC

* * *

**ECK**: Okay, I know I said there was only one chapter left, but I had to post this. The final chapter is still in the works, and it's LONG, this was part of it but I decided it was better off on its own. It's really just short filler, but I just wanted to give Axel a chance to speak. The next chapter IS going to be the last one, that's a promise; it's just going to take me a little while due to the fact that there's just so much going on.

Okay, so here are the songs for the soundtrack:

Chapter 1— Jesus of Suburbia By: Green Day  
Chapter 2— Just Dance By: Lady Gaga  
Chapter 3— The Garden By: Mirah  
Soras' Song – My Heart By: Paramore  
Chapter 4— Don't Trust Me By: 3OH!3  
Naminés' Song— Lights On By: The Pierces  
Chapter 5— Shut Up and Let Me Go By: The Ting Tings  
Chapter 6— Love Game By: Lady Gaga  
Chapter 7— Only One By: Yellow Card  
Chapter 8— Chasing Cars By: Snow Patrol  
Insert Song – Jacks Lament By: Nightmare Before Christmas  
Insert Song— Basket Case By: Green Day  
Insert Song— Don't Stop Me Now By: Queen  
Insert Song— Hey Jude By: the Beatles  
Chapter 9— Don't Let Me Fall By: Lenka  
Chapter 10— The Show Must Go On By: Queen  
Axels' Song— Time to Pretend By: MGMT  
Roxas' Song— She's a Handsome Woman By: Panic! At the Disco  
Chapter 11— The Idea of Growing Old By: The Features

You can listen to it here: http :// www. playlist. com / playlist / 15475795723

If that doesn't work there's a link to it on my profile too.

Please review! Flames are welcome!


	11. The Idea of Growing Old

Title:** Collecting the Stars**

Genre: Romance/Drama

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I no own

Note: This fic is AU, has slight OOC, and contains Yaoi. You have been warned.

Summary: [AU. Yaoi] – It was hard, moving to Twilight Town with my father so soon after mom died. Life just became a whirlwind then, of sex, drugs, wild parties, and a red head that snuck in through my window every night.

WARNING: Unbeta'd Beware Errors!!!!

* * *

"Blah" means talking

"**Blah**" means phone conversations

_Blah_ means thoughts

* * *

**Chapter 11: The Idea of Growing Old**

* * *

_We can talk all night, we can talk all day.  
We can play charades when there is nothing to say.  
You turn me on to the idea of growing old.._

_I can make you angry you can make me a smile.  
We can make origami with the kids for awhile.  
You turn me on to the idea of growing old._

_Now it won't be long. No it won't be long.  
You turn me on to the idea of growing old._

_We can lay around and count the number of times  
I've acted foolish and you've rolled your eyes.  
You turn me on to the idea of growing old._

_You in your kerchief, and me in my cap.  
We can settle down for an afternoon nap.  
You turn me on to the idea of growing old._

_Now it won't be long.  
No it won't be long.  
You turn me on to the idea of growing old_

* * *

The song Roxy was played almost every time I turned on the radio; it was getting me sick to my stomach. It was just after midnight, and I should've been asleep so that way I'd be able to get up at six in the morning for school, but I was awake and thinking about the last person I wanted to think about.

On my desk my phone began to vibrate, which was odd since everyone usually stopped texting around eleven. Sitting up and rolling off of the bed, I made my way towards me phone and checked the new message.

**I miss you. **

From: Axel.

My heart dropped to my stomach. It was from Axel. He texted me, after a year of no contact, after all that bullshit that happened between us. No words were exchanged after that wonderfully short summer.

I slumped back onto my bed; I needed to get to sleep before I did something stupid like text him back.

* * *

May came and went by with little excitement. The anniversary of my mom's death was tough, and a week afterwards was my seventeenth birthday. The only thing that was remotely cool was that Riku graduated from high school with honors and was the top of his class.

May melted into June; the summer heat clung and stuck to whatever it could. With summer came my first job, I had begun to work at Phil's with Hayner and Pence since the place had been short staffed ever since Zexion and Demyx left.

Naminé didn't come back.

* * *

Xion and I were at the mall, in Barnes & Noble's reading books and enjoying Frappuccinos.

I was reading The Little Prince, which was one of the best children's books of all time, and was enjoying it a lot. I was mentally debating whether I should buy it or not. Xion was reading an art magazine, and it was her gasp that caused me to look up from my book.

"What's up?" I asked her, peering over the small round table to get a better look at whatever shocked her.

She looked up at me with wide blue eyes, moving the magazine over so that I could see it perfectly.

There in the magazine was a painting of Axel and I passed out on white marble tiled floors. Our limbs were tangled up together and there were a few empty beer bottles near us. Around us were others passed out. Larxene was curled up next to Marluxia. Demyx, Olette, and Zexion were piled atop of each other, and at the far wall was Hayner on the chaise, Pence on the floor next to him.

Even though I had been there, the painting was breathtaking. The caption below told me that painting was called "PARTY". It was of my first night in Twilight Town.

The painting below it was of Hayner and Pence doing tricks on their skateboards near our hang out spot. It was called "THE USUAL SPOT".

There was one of Olette and Axel fighting over a cone of sea salt ice cream, laughing about it and not even realizing that it was dripping everywhere, "SIBLINGS".

Below that were Demyx and Zexion working at Phil's during a really crowded diner rush. Dem had a strained smile while Zex looked like he was ready to kill someone. "WORK".

I flipped the page to see Marluxia taking care of a sad looking rose bush, he was in his work apron and the flower shop was a bright background. Marluxia had a look of sympathetic love on his face as he tended the flower, "PASSION".

Next to it was a painting of the smoky club we had gone to in Radiant Garden, the band was in full swing, and "THE NOBODIES" was the title.

There was one of Riku and Sora arguing during one of Naminé's parties. They both looked frustrated and tired, the caption said "LOVERS".

There was a painting of Sora and I holding hands, everyone around us was laughing except me; I had a frown on my face. It was called "TWINS", this was when we went to the concert and Olette had made that twincest comment.

The next one was of me singing on stage. Eyes closed and mouth open as lyrics poured out, "STARDOM".

And finally, the last one was of me. It was the day after Sora had left, when I was avoiding Olette and had decided to visit Naminé. I was sitting on her porch, looking out at the woods. My eyebrows were furrowed but my expressed was blank and there was a frown marring my face. I was lost in thought; my caption was "SPECIAL".

After the paintings there was an interview with the artist, I had wanted to read it but could feel

Xion's eyes on me.

"These are amazing," I stated lamely, handing the magazine back to her.

She took it quietly, nodding in agreement.

I decided to buy the magazine. Xion was relatively silent for the rest of the day and even though it should've worried me it didn't. I couldn't bring myself to care all that much. I took her home earlier than we had planned. We didn't kiss each other goodbye.

* * *

The summer went by fast, I earned some money and on my free time I hung out with Hayner, Pence and Olette. It was the summer before senior year, the last summer of pure freedom. We spent most of it looking up Naminé's paintings; she was getting famous pretty fast.

It worried me a little bit, Nam was the type who could take the saying 'Live Fast, Die Young' to heart.

* * *

School started and along with it my senior year. It felt odd; to be a senior already. What was I to do after I graduated? I had applied to Hollow Bastion University and a few others, not seriously though otherwise I'd have been stressed out beyond belief. I still worked for Phil's during the weekend, still hung out with the same friends, still have the same great girlfriend, and was pretty content with my life. That was until October hit.

Xion seemed to appear from nowhere next to my locker just as I closed it.

"Hey," I greeted with a smile, she always made me smile.

"Hey!" She was excited, grin pasted on her face, "look what I got for you." She pulled out a small gift bag with white tissue paper coming out from the top.

I arched an eyebrow, "it's not my birthday and it's not our anniversary or Christmas."

Xion giggled that girly giggle that made most guys go wild; I wish it'd make me go wild, "silly, just open it."

Doing what I was told I opened the bag and carefully removed the tissue paper. There in my hand was The Nobodies debut C.D. I stared at it.

"Wow." I whispered, resisting the urge to throw the CD against the nearby wall.

"Do you like it?" Xion asked, worrying her lower lip.

I forced a bright grin, "of course I do! Thank you!" I kissed the tip of her nose, reminding myself to keep the smile on my face. The cover was a painting of their band logo, bright red against a black background.

She beamed, "okay good! I heard they were coming to town sometime next May, would you want to see them with me?"

_If we're still together in May would I have a choice_? A nasty voice in my head asked, but I just nodded and continued to smile that pasted on smile, "sure." I was lying through my teeth.

I should've thrown away the CD as soon as I had gotten home but I didn't. Instead I put it into my laptop, Cloud and Leon had gotten both me and Sora one for our birthday, and hooked my headphones up.

As Axel's voice poured into my ears I flipped open the booklet that was hooked onto the cover. There was a dedication page that when one first opened it.

For the fans who were there from the beginning, we love you, you know who you are. For the new fans that are just turning in, we're glad you discovered us, we're awesome. Most importantly though this CD is for the kids of Twilight Town, you'll all always be our #1's.

My heart constricted, was I one of those Twilight Town kids? There were sixteen tracks in total.

1. Radiant Concerts  
2. Clock Tower  
3. Pizzeria  
4. Skaters  
5. The Girl in the White House  
6. H.B High  
7. Mom's Flower shop  
8. Three Blond Brothers  
9. Dog Days of Summer  
10. Pence-ive  
11. Little Sisters  
12. Hookah  
13. Being a Waiter Sucks  
14. Parties  
15. New Kid in Town  
16. Roxy

This entire CD was a tribute to Twilight Town, which made my stomach lurch. Oh God what was wrong with me? It's been over a year and I had a great girlfriend, whom I cared about very much. Maybe if I were to tell myself that enough times I'd eventually believe it.

I read the lyrics to each song as the CD went on. Axel's voice soothed me, and despite how everything was, despite how _fucked up _everything was, I was still in love with him.

While listening to The Nobodies I realized that I was the sickest type of masochist...but I just wanted to hear his voice. Then the song Roxy came on and I shivered at the ballad intro. Zexion playing acoustic, the guitar let out a sad, almost whining, melody.

"**I'm just a heartless creature so what's it matter?**

**You're wasting your life waiting for me**

**Tread that wave; keep your head above the water**

**As I speak like Romeo to thee**

**Words dripping of love and irony**"

Demyx, Luxord, and Saix added their instruments and all of a sudden it was a punk song. Axel took in a deep breath before continuing. Vocals louder, rougher, no longer a lovely ballad; his voice sounded angry and desperate.

"**I know I'm no God, Hell I'm barely a man**

**And you're no saint with all your hate**

**But I just wanted to let you know**

**That I love you so**

"**Honey I'd carve my heart out to see your smile again**

**Devoted like a whipped dog**

**The thought of you leaves me in a fog**

**Yet I know this won't be the end, it's just begun**

"**We're selfish beings**

**Dancing away in the drug and club scene**

**Cursing each other out in every plain**

**But when I had my concerts you always came**

"**Roxy your blue eyes kill me**

**It scared me whenever I heard the word 'we'**

**So I got up and walked out the door**

**Leaving my bleeding heart on your floor**"

There was an instrumental solo, quick and full of passion. I could see the guys, playing their hearts out as Axel took a breather. The song was making my own heart ache.

"**You've heard rumors about me, well I've heard about you**

**What's it that you want us to do?**

**I'd slice my wrists; I'd die for that one last kiss**

**Suicide will be my bliss, as long as there's no near miss**

"**Roxy your blue eyes kill me**

**It scared me whenever I heard the word 'we'**

**So I got up and walked out the door**

**Leaving my bleeding heart on your floor**

"**Just tread that wave **

**Keep your head above the water**

**As I speak like Romeo to thee**

**Words dripping of love and irony**

"**And Roxy your blue eyes kill me**

**I know I'm no God, Hell I'm barely a man**

**And you're no saint with all your hate**

**But I just wanted to let you know**

**That I love you so"**

I sat there staring down at the lyrics for the longest time, even after the CD started to repeat the first song.

He loved me? And this was his way of letting me know? Letting the world know? How exactly was I supposed to react to all of this?

Shaking my head, I took off my headphones and threw myself down on my bed. If he loved me then he'd say it. This could just be a song, just a stupid song that had no meaning behind it like most songs out there. One of the many millions of love songs aimed for the teenage generation that just happened to be around to hear it. Just a meaningless song with my name repeated in it. Unless he knew another person he called Roxy.

My cell began to vibrate in my pocket, causing me to jump a bit and take it out immediately. The number was private, and I eyed it before shrugging and picking up. I needed the distraction, "hello?"

"**Hello Roxas**," the voice made me lurch up in my bed, eyes wide.

"Naminé," I breathed, shock coursing through my system.

"**I heard The Nobodies song on the radio earlier today. Have you heard it?**" Naminé asked, and I could hear angry music being played in the background. She sounded sober, which would forever be such an odd experience for me, talking to Nam while she was sober.

"Yeah, I heard it," I answered, unsure as to what exactly I should say. I picked at my sheets, wondering what Xion would've done if she knew I was talking to my ex-girlfriend.

"**How are you holding up?**" She sounded concerned. I hadn't heard from her in over a year, I should've been pretty pissed off or something. _Something_. Any type of emotion would've been fine. Instead I was numb and a little sick to my stomach.

"I need to vomit," I managed to rasp out, putting the phone down and running to the bathroom to let out all the contents that were in my stomach.

When I got back to my room I picked my cell back up, half expecting Nam to have hung up on me, but she was still there. She was always there when you needed her, never when you wanted her.

"**Feel better?**" She asked, sounding as patient as ever. I hated her and loved her at the same time at that moment. But, surprisingly, I did feel a bit better.

"Yeah," I answered lamely, insecure about what exactly I should say to her. "I saw your paintings on a magazine."

Naminé gave a small sigh and I could hear the Mona Lisa smile on her voice, "**did you like them?**"

"Yeah, but my girlfriend didn't," the truth came out before I got a chance to stop it, "I don't know why though, they were good paintings."

"**Maybe because it's something about you that she didn't know and you didn't bother sharing. You're a very mysterious person Roxas Lockhart.**" Nam stated with a lazy drawl.

"I'm not mysterious, people just don't ask about me." I sighed, lying back down on my bed; The Nobodies CD was repeating all of its songs in the background.

"**Who knows everything about you? Aside from your brother and childhood friends from your hometown.**" She asked; I could hear her turning down her own music.

I went quiet, because I knew she knew whom else had every minute detail of my life memorized. Someone I told everything to no matter how mundane or embarrassing. "That's a loaded question," I said instead, hating once again how Naminé knew everything in life.

Her laughter sounded like bells, even through the phone, "**I have to go now Roxas. Take care of yourself.**"

"Bye Nam, it was nice talking to you." We both hung up at the same time and my heart felt much lighter than it had after I heard the song and read the lyrics. Naminé allowed some light to shine through the self-inflicted misery that I had managed.

The Nobodies concert was in May; everyone would be going and expecting me to go as well, so I'd go. I had seven months to prep myself for this. For seeing Axel again.

* * *

November came, as did homecoming and my first anniversary with Xion. Things were going good with her, as good as they could get. We went out for dinner and danced at homecoming, the only problem was that she wanted to have sex. She was ready for that step in our relationship. Unfortunately, I wasn't, and I don't think I'd ever be. It wasn't fair for Xion and I think she was starting to get suspicious by the fact that I wanted to do nothing more than make out.

I walked her to her door at the end of the night, like I always did whenever we were together, always the gentlemen. Xion turned to look at me, a frown marring her pretty face.

"Why don't we do more than kiss?" She asked, as her pretty eyes narrowed at me.

"I'm not ready for anything more yet Xi," I sighed tiredly, it was just after two in the morning and I still had to take the train back home.

"But _why_?" she practically demanded an answer, and I knew that I owed her some sort of explanation. So I gave a half lie.

"My last relationship, way before I met you, was bad. We didn't get to know each other very well before we even shared our first kiss, and everything about it was fast paced. After that I told myself that I would never be in another relationship like that again." I shrugged, feeling like a wimp for saying such a thing. But it wasn't exactly a lie, because my last 'relationship' had been with Axel and it had ended badly. Before that was Nam and that was just a disaster.

Xion stared at me for a good few minutes in silence, "…you've never told me that much about you before."

I almost winced at the fact that Nam's words came and bit me in the ass. "I'm sorry," I offered lamely.

She nodded, "goodnight Roxas." That was a dismissal, and I didn't need to be told twice.

"'Night Xi," I said before practically sprinting from her porch. Something told me that our relationship wasn't going to last any longer. And as much as I loved Xion as a friend, I couldn't help but feeling of relief building up inside of my heart at the idea of her breaking up with me.

* * *

December, winter break, Sora and Riku staying for a while at Cloud and Leon's house.

Sora grinned from his spot on my bed, it was Christmas evening and Riku had just left for his father's place to spend time with his family. Aeris, Zack, and Olette and come over to spend the evening with us. Olette stared at me from my desk chair.

"So, the song Roxy's about you, huh?" My brother asked slyly, rocking side to side.

I frowned at him, "what makes you think that So?"

"I read the lyrics," he answered easily, we were waiting for dinner to start.

Olette snorted as she laughed, which was very unladylike but completely human. It was good to know that women weren't as perfect as they tried to be. "Axel say's the name Roxy like a billion times in the song Sora."

"He only says it three times," I answered, and felt my face heat up immediately afterwards as the two of them stared at me.

"You're so fucking hopeless and pathetic," Sora stated, but his words lacked conviction.

"Why are you still with Xion again?" Olette asked, eyes narrowed and a shuffled uncomfortably under her gaze.

"Because I like her," I answered honestly.

Sora huffed, "yeah, you like her the same way I like Kairi, so why're you staying with her dude? Break it off with her and sort your emotions out. Stop using her as a safety net."

Olette nodded in agreement, "besides, Hayner actually likes her, a lot. It'd be great if you'd stop being selfish and give him a chance at happiness. No offense Rox."

"Call her and do it now," Sora suggested absentmindedly.

"Sora, it's Christmas, I'm not going to break up with her now. I'll wait until after school starts again. And then I'll push Hayner in her direction." I answered lazily, moving so that my head rested in Sora's lap. A few seconds later Aeris called us into the dining room for dinner.

It felt good to just be me; even if it was with only two people.

* * *

The New Year started quietly. Hayner managed to sneak us all out to the coast to shoot off fireworks.

"Lexaeus and Quistis were okay with this? I mean, I know how they are when it comes to spending time with the family during the holidays," Pence said while taking candid photos of us.

Hayner shrugged, "my parents know I'm shooting off fireworks. They just don't know where." He laughed.

Olette and Xion were kicking up the sand, and running around laughing like the girls that they were, with Pence taking photos of them.

"Hey," I looked over at Hayner; we were at his car, going through which fireworks we wanted to light, "I'm going to break up with Xion soon."

He looked up at me sharply, brown eyes wide with surprise, "what? Why?"

I sighed, "Because, she wants more then I can give her. I mean I barely even kiss her and the most we do is hold hands. I don't see her as anything more than a good friend, like Olette, you know?"

"So you've been leading her one for the past year or so?" He asked with a deep frown.

"No! I thought I did like her like that, but I don't," I looked back at him, "what I'm trying to say here Hay is that once we break up it'll be more then okay for you to go after her, if you want."

Hayner's face flushed, and he lowered his gaze from mine, "I don't want to be rebound."

"Then don't be," I shrugged, staring out at the icy waters of the ocean.

A week later winter break was over and we were back into our normal routines.

Xion came up to my locker after second period, a frown on her pretty face, and I just knew it was over between us before she even opened her mouth.

"I slept with Hayner," she said, eyes dry but her expression was one that was sorry and depressed.

I knew that I shouldn't have felt angry, but I did. She cheated on me. She slept with one of my closest friends. But, I concluded in the span of five seconds, that it made up for the fact that I had practically used her over the course of a year.

"Oh," I managed to choke out.

"Oh?" She echoed, "Just 'oh'? You're not going to get upset or threaten him or _dump_ me?"

"You seem to be taking this harder than I am Xi," I stated, making sure that I had my math book before slamming my locker shut. "Are you going to go out with him now? He really likes you."

Xion stared at me, her eyes watering, "you're such an asshole." She whispered as tears fell down upon her cheeks, she sniffled, trying to compose herself but only crying more.

With a tired sigh, I grabbed her and lead her to the PAC, which was empty during this time of day. "Now we're both going to skip second period and you're going to tell me why I'm an asshole when you're the one who cheated on me."

She sat down in the last row of the PAC and I sat down next to her, waiting for her to say something, "you never loved me throughout our entire relationship. I knew. You were so hung up on the last person you were with. And at first I thought that was fine, I mean, I thought you'd come around eventually. But you didn't Rox." Her head was her hands and her shoulders were shaking as she cried silently.

I frowned, "I know. I'm sorry Xi; I never meant to hurt you." I almost laughed bitterly, she slept with Hayner and I'm the one apologizing.

"Just tell me," Xion's voice was trembling, "are you still in love with her? Your ex-girlfriend; the artist? I heard so much about her."

"Naminé?" I asked her, eyebrows raised, "no. I love her, but not in the way she'd want me to. No, Nam's just a friend."

"Then who is it Roxas?" She looked up at me with red rimmed eyes, mascara running down her face.

I leaned back in my seat and let out a big puff of air, "I'm going to tell you something that only three other people know. My brother, Olette, and Nam, and I want you to promise me that you won't tell anyone. Anyone Xion."

She nodded, wiping her face with the back of her hands.

"I'm in love with Axel," I stuttered.

She gave me a blank look, "does he go to our school?"

I shook my head, "Axel is the lead singer of The Nobodies. A cocky redhead who thinks he's the shit and that the world should bow down to him."

"You actually _know_ him?" Xion gave me a doubtful look.

"Of course I do, he's Olette's older brother," I shrugged, and then proceeded to tell her everything that had happened during that summer when I was sixteen. It was the most I've ever told her about me, and when we got up to go to third period there was no bad blood between us. Instead Xion gave me a tight hug.

"See you at lunch Rox," She sighed into my shirt.

I petted her hair, "yeah, just do me a favor. Please no PDA with Hayner. I hate public displays of affection."

Xion giggled that girly giggle that I had always wished I could fall in love with and went to find the nearest girls restroom to fix her makeup. I had to go back to my locker to exchange books.

* * *

February was awful close to May, The Nobodies concert loomed over my head with each passing week and I was beginning to think of ways to get out of it.

March flew by with little incident, all of us just counting the days down until Spring Break. And then April hit and with it ten days of freedom. Five of which were spent back on Destiny with Sora, Riku, Tidus, Kairi, and Selphie (Wakka went away for college).

Hayner, Pence, Olette, Xion and I drove to Destiny like we had the year before, staying once again at Riku's place.

The ten of us were on the beach the first night, sharing the batch of special brownies that Selphie had managed to create. Bonfire lit and music was pouring out of the same old radio that we had always taken to the beach as kids.

"Holy shit Selphie! These brownies are nothing but weed!" Tidus choked on his brownie, his face turned red as he swallowed it down with a Pepsi.

"Stop being such a little bitch about it. They taste fine," Selphie cackled evilly as she ate hers. I was pretty sure that she was already quite high at this point.

"Oh my gosh!" Olette suddenly gasped, "You guys should so come to The Nobodies concert in Hollow Bastion in May."

"Yeah!" Sora agreed, bouncing around in the sand, "that's after graduation, and Riku has a car so we can all go!"

"Hey, don't go volunteering me like that," Riku said lazily.

Sora traced a pattern on Riku's arm with his pointer finger, "if you take us I'll make it worth your while."

"We're all going to The Nobodies concert in May!" Riku grinned.

"Am I the only person who's fucking sober here?" I demanded, the responses I got were insane giggles and loud laughter. "God damn it."

* * *

May was there before I realized it, along with the second anniversary of mom's death, and Sora's graduation which Cloud, Leon, and I attended.

"So where are you going to school now?" Leon asked Sora as the four of us headed towards the restaurant that we were meeting Riku and company at.

"I got accepted to Traverse University, so Riku and I are both gonna move to Traverse Town and go there. It's only a forty-five minute drive from Twilight Town, and Hollow Bastion University." Sora winked at me, and I felt my face heat up. I had been accepted into HBU earlier that year, but didn't like thinking about it. College had felt so far away then, but in a few months I'd be attending there, being a college kid was a big step for me.

"You graduate next week Rox," Sora grinned, "And we turn eighteen too! When's The Nobodies concert anyhow?"

"On our birthday," I told him with a half shrug.

I knew that the band had no way of controlling what town they'd be touring on what day or night, but I had a feeling that Axel managed to bend a few strings to come back to his home town that night. He knew when my birthday was, just like I knew when his was, those were just more useless pieces of information that we shared between the sheets.

"I miss mom," I suddenly sighed, leaning into Sora.

Sora leaned into me as well, "me too Rox. Me too."

* * *

My graduation was boring, I spent most of it texting Olette, Pence, Hayner, Xion, and Sora; even though the administrators told us that we weren't allowed cell phones. Everyone was texting, discreetly of course even though everyone else knew about it.

By the time we were done we rushed out to meet up with our families and other school friends. Pictures were taken, tons of them. Hugs were exchanged as well as false promises to keep in touch and stay friends no matter what.

"I'm glad that we're free from that hell hole!" Hayner laughed, hopping onto my back. It was only by sheer willpower that I didn't topple over and be crushed underneath his weight.

"Get the fuck off of me!" I struggled to fling him off.

"Congratulations guys," a familiar, feminine, voice laughed from our left, causing us to turn. Naminé was standing there in a white sundress and a happy smile on her face. Her bright blonde hair was placed in a side braid, her eyes were still wide and blue, her skin still looking as if the sun never touched it. She had that whole pure look down pact, and it worked for her. She was still breathtakingly beautiful in her own mental way.

"Holy shit!" Hayner gapped at her, getting off of my back and staring, "dude, Nam, when did you get here?"

"A few hours ago, since the concert is tomorrow I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone. Theoretically that is." She winked, and then Hayner and I tackled her in a tight hug. A few minutes later Pence, Olette, and Sora showed up and hugged her as well. Xion showed up shortly after and introductions were made.

"Tomorrow's the concert!" Olette cheered as the seven of us headed to our families, all of which were waiting together on the other side of the parking lot. We got to graduated in HBU's arena, which was huge and pretty nicely decorated.

"Not just the concert, but Sora and Roxas's birthday too," Xion reminded with a grin.

"No birthday punches!" Sora laughed, leading the way to Dad and Leon.

…I had just called Cloud Dad again.

After dinner with the parental units we all went home and changed before meeting up at the hole in the wall to head to the huge white villa on the other side. It's been almost two years since any of us went through those woods. We were going to Nam's to light off some fireworks and drink the bottle of vodka that Pence had nicked from his mother.

We passed around the old pipe that we had always used as Hayner and Olette lit the fireworks.

"Riku's coming tomorrow with Kairi, Selphie, and Tidus," Sora sighed, leaning back onto the porch.

Naminé had her sketch book out and Pence had his camera. This was a good way to end thirteen years or public school. And I said so out loud as I took a puff of the hash pipe.

* * *

The morning of my birthday started with Sora jumping up and down on my bed, until he finally threw himself down on my, screaming Happy Birthday at the top of his lungs off-key.

"Get off of me you ass!" I pushed him off of my bed and closed my eyes again, Sora had opened the blinds for my window and the sunlight was streaming in happily. Blissfully unaware of what I was about to do to my twin, "you get out if you want to live to see nineteen!" I growled at him, resisting the urge to strangle him with my blanket.

"But the gifts Roxas! The gifts!" Sora cried out from his spot on my floor, "Leon's still here and he cooked up breakfast. Get your lazy ass up and come oooon, we can eat pancakes together and be legal and shit."

Huffing, I rolled out of bed, stepping over Sora and out of my bedroom. Sure enough Leon had made up pancakes.

"I have to get to work, you two have a good birthday, there're gifts from your father and I on the kitchen island." Leon had stated as he put his tie on and walked out the door, "see you guys later!"

"Yummy blueberry," Sora gushed as he dipped his pancakes in buttery syrup.

"And you're eighteen?" I asked in a deadpanned voice.

"Yup," Sora nodded, syrup dripping down his chin, "and I'm the older twin."

* * *

Being eighteen wasn't as great as everyone made it out to be. I saw it as like this: now that I was legal I could actually get arrested for shit instead of being sent to juvie. I still couldn't legally drink. And as the day flew by, the hours getting closer and closer to the concert, I desperately wanted to drink.

"I got some Nobodies shirts for Riku, Kairi, Tidus and Selphie," Olette smiled brightly, bringing out a black, red, purple, and a white shirt with the band's logo on them.

When Riku and company showed up, we were pleasantly surprised to see Wakka with them, home for a late Spring Break and deciding to come with. This left Olette scrambling for one more band shirt.

When everything was settling down with the group from Destiny, we all met up at the train station where Xion met us at the other side.

"I'm so excited!" Xion gushed, "I've never been to a concert before," She was holding on tightly to Hayner's hand, a smile on her face and her eyes done up prettily.

"Are we going to Zell's afterwards?" Sora asked, holding onto Riku's hand, their fingers laced together.

That's when I realized that everyone was holding hands. Pence and Olette were linked, Tidus and Selphie were together, and Wakka and Kairi were holding pinkies. I frowned and took Naminé's hand in my own, not wanting to be alone. She gave me a knowing smile.

The concert was in the same club that it had always been at, but it had tight security and we weren't allowed backstage with the band like we used to.

"But I'm Axel's sister!" Olette frowned.

"And I'm Demyx's brother!" Hayner glared.

It was only by luck that Zexion was passing behind the guards and saw us, "you all came?" He asked us, and the security guards moved aside for him. He looked different, more punk and rock then emo now. He looked like a rock star.

"Are you all going to Zell's afterwards?" He asked, moving his hair behind his ears and out of his face before it fell right back in place.

"Of course," Pence answered with a nod.

"We'll see you guys there then. Larxene and Marluxia are somewhere in the club, if you find them then they should be able to sneak you drinks," Zexion gave us a small smile, "I have to go back to everyone else before they send a search party out for me, see you guys later tonight."

We went into the club, but it was so crowded that it would've been impossible to find Larxene or Marluxia. Instead we managed to find a booth and squeeze into it. Not even bothering to go to the pit below, there was no room on the dance floor.

"And this is a small concert for them now?" Sora whistled lowly, I'm not sure how we all managed to fit in that booth, but we did; all twelve of us.

The lights in the front dimmed and my heart skipped a beat as Demyx started with an electric guitar solo.

The lights suddenly flashed on and the rest of the band began to play, Axel stood on stage with the mic in his hands and his eyes searching the crowd as he waited for his cue.

"AXEL!" Olette screamed, and even though a dozen other girls were screaming his name he turned to face our direction. Olette jumped up and waved her arms, doing a silly dance and catching her brother's attention.

The lead singer looked at her and smiled; face flushed with happiness before opening his mouth and letting the lyrics pour out. As soon as his voice echoed throughout the club I was enraptured. Axel tried to keep his eyes on the crowd before him, and for that I was grateful. If he were to have looked my way I think my heart would've stopped.

"This next song is the one that put us on the radio," Axel said into the mic, his voice made me shiver with want, "Roxy is a song about a lost love, as you all know. And, believe it or not, Roxy is here tonight." The crowd began to scream wildly, "yeah, and I hope Roxy understand how much I mean it in this song."

His bright green eyes looked over at our table as he started the ballad and suddenly it was too much for me, "I can't stay here." I said to my table as I shimmied out of the booth, Sora grabbed my hand before I left and looked at me worriedly. I shook my head at him and walked outside of the club where the warm night air hit me.

The bouncer outside eyed me, "alright there kid?" he asked gruffly.

"Yeah," I said absentmindedly, running both hands through my hair and letting out a frustrated sigh. This wasn't fair. I didn't want to freak out like that and appear weak. I hadn't even wanted to come to the stupid concert, but at the same time I had, because I'm a sick fucker like that.

I waited outside until intermission, some people came outside to smoke a cigarette, and amongst them was Marluxia.

"Hey Roxas, what're you doing out here? Hiding from Axel?" He asked with a knowing smirk as he took a puff of his cigarette. It wasn't until the smell hit me that I realized he wasn't smoking a cigarette.

"Starting the party early?" I asked him, putting my hand out and waited for him to pass it to me. Luckily he did, and I took a deep drag of the too strong blunt.

"You're going to have to be a man and go back in there, it won't be fair to the others, and the band's really happy that we're all able to be here you know," Marluxia said, taking a drag.

I nodded, "yeah, I know."

The rest of the concert went by rather quickly, and our group was one of the first to leave. A lot of The Nobodies fans stayed behind to try and catch a glimpse of the band.

"Will Zell's place hold all of us just fine?" Pence asked as we walked out.

"I love how you're all so calm about all of this. Their concert was fucking awesome!" Xion threw her hands in the air and Selphie copied her every move, equally excited.

"Yeah, we should all fit, it'll be a little snug though," Hayner nodded.

My heart was beating a mile a minute and I felt sick to my stomach, "hey, you know, I think I'm gonna head back home."

"What? Why? We haven't seen them in over a year! Don't you want to see them?" Pence asked, giving me a curious look.

"I do, but I don't feel too hot. I think Marluxia's shit was laced, I'd feel better lying down in bed." I lied.

Olette, Sora, Naminé and Xion all gave me understanding looks.

"See you guys later," I gave them a weak smile and headed away from the group, towards the train station.

The ride home was quiet, and for that I was thankful.

* * *

I was reading in bed around 2AM, Sora and everyone else was still at Zell's, eating pizza and smoking good weed. And as much as I wanted to be there with everyone else, I knew I wouldn't be able to do it. Two years away from Axel and I still couldn't be in the same room as him. I was such a pussy.

Rubbing my eyes I went back to my book, it was getting pretty interesting, until my window flung open.

I stared at it, a cold fear rushing throughout my body. And then I saw it, legs coming in ass first. No one used my window as a door anymore, but the fact that this person came in ass first was a dead giveaway.

I remained frozen in bed, unable to move whatsoever. He turned to face me and jumped, holding a hand to his heart. "Jesus Roxas, warn a guy."

Anger then flooded my veins, "how dare you come in here like no time had passed. Like all that shit didn't happen between us?"

Axel sauntered over to me and I glared at him, not bothering to move, "and then you make a song about me? What the fuck's wrong with you?"

He looked down at me, bright green eyes, wild red hair, and leaned forward, pressing his lips on top of mine.

I gasped into the kiss, which only caused him to deepen the kiss, and run his hands through my hair. _Oh fuck_. I grabbed the front of his shirt tightly, my own tongue shyly brushing against his. We pulled apart slowly, and I had to regain my breath.

"I love you," Axel whispered, kissing my forehead.

I closed my eyes, "you have a funny way of showing it."

"I know, I'm an asshole, please forgive me," he sounded so sincere, and I had already forgiven him the moment I saw him on stage earlier.

Our lives weren't going to be perfect, I knew this. I was going to college and Axel was going back out on tour, but we loved each other, things were bound to work themselves out one way or another. If not then we'll make them work.

"I love you too," I whispered. And he kissed me again.

* * *

FIN

* * *

**Evil Chibi Kitten**: DONE! The lyrics for Roxy I wrote myself, they're not that great, but I'm no lyricist so please forgive me. This is the longest chapter I've ever written. 17 pages and over 8,000 words. And I wrote it all in one sitting, my wrists hurt haha.

I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who read and those who reviewed too. I'm a review whore and they helped me survive. The link to the soundtrack can be found on my profile. Again, THANK YOU EVERYONE! Please review, flames are welcome :)


	12. Epilogue

Title:** Collecting the Stars**

Genre: Romance/Drama

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I no own

Note: This fic is AU, has slight OOC, and contains Yaoi. You have been warned.

Summary: [AU. Yaoi] – It was hard, moving to Twilight Town with my father so soon after mom died. Life just became a whirlwind then, of sex, drugs, wild parties, and a red head that snuck in through my window every night.

WARNING: Unbeta'd Beware Errors!!!!

* * *

"Blah" means talking

"**Blah**" means phone conversations

_Blah_ means thoughts

* * *

**Epilogue **

* * *

It's been five years since mom died and fuck I've gotten old, although to most tweny-one isn't old at all. I felt old though, down to my bones and deep in my soul. I had just graduated from Hollow Bastion University the week before with a Bachelors in sociology, and had managed to get a job in Traverse Town, not too far from dear old Dad and Leon, but far enough to gain some independence and space to grow.

"Jesus man, how much more shit do you have?" Hayner asked as he and Pence lifted my mattress, turning it sideways and going out of the bedroom door with it. He was gone before I answered and I merely rolled my eyes at him.

I had spent the entire last week of school packing everything up, and it was a lot for just me. Five years was plenty of time to accumulate lots of crap.

Olette was helping me disassemble my bed frame while Xion came back in for another box labeled **clothes**.

"It's exciting isn't it?" Olette asked me with a kind smile on her face, "Moving out of Twilight Town, it'll be good for you."

I nodded in agreement but didn't say anything. What was there to say exactly? I did feel a twinge of sadness because I was leaving this place. Not for good, but I wouldn't be living here any more. Not that it mattered; everyone was either settling down or getting the hell out.

"Holy crapola! Watch out Pence!" Sora's voice was loud from the living room as were Riku's chuckles, "its not funny Riku!" A second later they appeared in the bedroom, each grabed a box and went back out to the moving truck. Sora grumbling about something or other while Riku tried to wipe the grin off of his face.

"It's kind of surreal, you know?" I asked Olette once we were done.

She shrugged, "I guess this is growing up Roxas, it happens to the best of us."

The loading of the truck didn't take all that long, but I knew that it was going to be the unloading that was going to be a bitch.

"Hey, give me your new place's key, that way we can meet you over there since I know it's going to take you forever," Riku smirked at me, he looked like a man hiding a secret.

"I still have to pack the bed frame dude," I stated, eyeing him wearily, "and Naminé's paintings."

"I've got the paintings," Pence grinned, grabbing the three frames that had been recently taken down from my walls. "Just give him the key's Roxas; we'll be there before you."

"What about the bed frame? It's not light!" I glared at the both of them, they were up to something, years of being friends taught me to know better than to just trust them off the bat.

Sora then meandered into the room, "What's taking so long?"

"He won't give us the key to his new place," Riku stated, as if it were my fault that I was suspicious of him.

My twin walked up to me, reached into my pocket with no shame, and pulled out the key, "ta-da! Let's mosey." The three left my room while laughing about something or other. They were such mature twenty-something year olds, sometimes I think that they're older than ten.

"What about the bed frame!?" I called out as they left but received no answer and sighed. _God damn it_.

Huffing, I glared down at the disassembled bed frame; this was going to be a pain to put into the van.

"Need help?"

I jumped and turned around, "What're you doing here?"

Axel arched an eyebrow, green eyes twinkling with laughter, "Seriously, that's the first thing you say to your boyfriend after not seeing him for four months?"

"Maybe it's because you're supposed to be on tour right now," I stated, bending down to pick up some of the frame.

Axel immediately rushed to help me, "It's called a surprise Roxy, besides, we wrapped up our tour last night."

"And you hurried home to help me pack?" I asked, looking him in the eyes, he had gotten black upside-down tear drop tattoos on them a few years back. I had hated them, but they grew on me now.

He nodded enthusiastically, "pack _and_ unpack," he grinned, showing off his pearly whites.

"Pfft," I snorted, "right. Whatever floats your boat."

"You float my boat," he said slyly.

"You're retarded," I told him while trying not to laugh, if I started laughing then I knew I'd most definitely drop what I was holding.

"You know, this is where we first met," Axel stated, not bothering to move despite the fact that what we were holding onto a very heavy frame.

I rearranged my grip, "You're getting sentimental in your old age." I stated with a straight face.

"I'm only twenty-six!" Axel pouted at me and began to walk backwards towards the door, "This is going to be a bitch to get out of here," he mumbled.

"Move it side ways," I shimmied to the right.

Axel laughed, "That's what she said!"

I let out a small laugh, "Shut up Axel."

"I love it when you say my name," he was looking behind him to watch out for walls.

"Anything else you want to say?" I asked, enjoying his company despite the fact that we were having some difficulties with the bed frame.

"I think I'm stuck," Axel whined.

"That's what he said," I cackled evilly, shimmying even more to the right as he went to the left.

"Roxas," Axel grinned at me, "don't gain a sense of humor now of all times, if you make me laugh I'll drop this thing."

We managed to get the frame unstuck and were making our way out of the room.

I looked behind me one last time. The window was still there, facing the neighbors' house perfectly. I had replaced the screen and fixed the latch to it years ago, but it was still the same window. So many things happened because of that window.

"I hope they're not, like, having an orgy or anything in your new place without inviting us," my boyfriend laughed.

I looked over at Axel; he was all long legs, pale body, long crimson hair, bright green eyes and Cheshire cat grins.

"I love you," I stated, noticing how he almost tripped over the couch in the living room as he looked back over at me.

"Love you too Roxy. Can't wait to get this baby on board so we can go to your new place and desecrate every single surface of it," he grinned cheekily at the thought.

After we put the frame in I walked up to the front door and locked it, Axel was already in the drivers seat to the moving van.

I stared at the door for a moment, I never did find out why mom left Cloud, I had never asked. Maybe one day, when I'm ready to hear the story, and when he's ready to tell it, I will.

"Come on Rox! Let's get going while there's still daylight!" Axel yelled out of the front window.

With smile I headed towards the van and hopped in.

"Forward Jeeves, towards adult life!" I pointed towards the road.

My lover grabbed my face and gave me a hard kiss which I melted into.

"Towards Grown Up Land eh?" He asked against my mouth as he pulled away. I nodded, trying to regain my breath. We were still close, so he kissed me again, this time softer and not as needy before pulling away completely to start the van.

"To Grown Up Land," I said in a low voice, and watched the house disappear from sight as we drove off.

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

**ECK**: I had debated putting up the Epilogue because there was no Prologue, but the ending wasn't how I had wanted it so I decided to put this up anyways. Also, I've been debating writing a collection of one-shots about the lives of our **Collecting the Stars** characters before their lives crashed together. It's all up in the air though at the moment. Please review, flames are always welcome.


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